I'm at the end of my tether, dd's bedtimes are just getting worse and worse and I feel such a failure

[northender]

I'm sobbing into the keyboard, I really am at my wits end. dd is 4 and has only recently started to sleep through consistently (prior to that she would wake in the night at least a couple of times a week). Bedtime though is another matter entirely. Tonight I almost lost it with her and have frightened myself. She is strong willed and we have to deal with her a bit differently because of that (trying to avoid continual confrontation). We have always been consistent with bedtime ie wind down, bath, story, bed. Our problems now start at wind down time when she refuses to do anything she's asked and then goes on to do exactly the opposite. Everything then escalates. I managed to defuse things successfully tonight, get her into bed and read the story. The calm didn't last, she wouldn't stay in bed, hit me, tried to bite me and I lost the plot. dh is upstairs at the moment and all is quiet. We can't carry on like this, it's getting worse and I have no idea what to do to help her.

dd was frightened in the night for a long time

tbh we never treated it as a discipline problem but always let her come in with us if she woke in the night

partly because I didn't want the fights, but partly because I remember what it felt like to lie there for hour after hour staring into the dark (my parents would have let me come to them too, but I was too proud)

bribing me would not have made me any less frightened

I haven't read the whole thread so sorry if you've already tried this but it has worked a treat with my three DC.

I tell them that I have had a letter from the sleep fairy and she is coming to visit for a few weeks. If the children go to bed nicely (no arguing, do everything that they have to, and stay in their bed - except for toilet etc) she will come and leave a little present for them for sleeping so well.

I make a big thing of making and decorating a shoe box and this is were the fairy leaves her present - normally some stickers or a small toy etc.

It normally takes a day or two but my little ones take to it really well.