3 month old screaming for what seems like hours... Help please

[Roopoo]

Hiya

I have a 13 week old DD. She sleeps through from around 9pm until 7.15 am with a dream feed at 11pm. BUT

After being told be everyone that after 12 weeks the crying stops our DD seems to cry more. I think that it is when she is over tired.

For example

Yesterday she kept on waking up and crying during her afternoon nap. Ended up getting her up at around 4pm. She seemed hungry so fed her then she cried on and off for the rest of the day resulting in us putting her to bed at 7.30 as she looked knackered and was crying. Cue screaming for an hour and a half until she fell asleep. Once asleep she slept through until morning...

This is my first DC so am not very good at the whole motherhood thing yet. Is it normal for babies to scream themselves to sleep.?? Is this a development thing that might stop naturally...

Usually I can read signs and rush her upstairs for a nap.. But it's getting to the point now where I can't leave the house at all as if I miss a nap time she screams and screams and won't settle to sleep.....

So I end up being stuck in the house a lot with a baby that screams all afternoon and evening.
Just wondered if anybody had any advice as we are susposed to be going away for a family weekend next week and I petrified that if we don't stick to her exact routine she will just scream all weekend...

missmem - Im really glad that you are OK now xx
It's so tough though and I don't think anything has affected me in my life like the sound of none stop screaming.... It wears you down and stops you thinking straight...

I haven't read the whole list cos I need to maximise DD's nap time and grab a shower quick but ignore people who say they settle at 12 weeks as you should ignore ANYONE who gives 'deadlines' for your baby. DD is a very bad sleeper and at 8 months I'm still up twice a night. She screamed a lot for the first few months, it's normal but horrible.
We used a baby carrier for going out cos even if she screamed she was sort of muffled in my chest but she did sleep well in there. If it really gets too much, put her in her cot once everything's sorted, nappy/food/warmth, make a cuppa and wander outside, just outside the door so you can give your head a break.
Try taking any mobiles/bumpers/distractions out of her cot. DD slept a bit better when there was nothing in her bed except her and nothing to look at. Try white noise too, a fan or an untuned radio (although that does my nut ) Or try co-napping, sometimes it works.
Good luck! Fingers crossed for you...

One thing I would add is that I ended up making a choice between my quality of life and my child's in the case of DS1.

Or more realistically between sleep and life.

I had DS1 in quite a strict routine for the first few months and it meant that if lovely other mums I'd met said "do you want to go for coffee" I would say "no thanks, I'm trying to get boy into routine so I can sleep tonight".

I would go home, dim lights, shut curtains, rock him, sing to him etc etc, put him down, pick him up and vice versa, weep, moan, feel like a bad mother.

And he still didn't sleep.

In the end somehow I just went "fuck it". I went out and did all those things I wanted to do on the social front, baby slept in pram, learnt to sleep pretty much anywhere, I was not the weeping shattered* mess I had been.

*I was still shattered but I had friends and a laugh to distract me.

Difficult when your baby's a screamer, I know, but I just think it's easy to become slave to a routine that's working for one of you but not the other. Maybe now it's time to change it for both of you.

And feed her more.

Hi Roopoo, how have things been for you and DD today?

For a change I actually tried to get DD into a wee routine today and there were no tears!! Well none from me but just a few from her - things seemed a lot easier. Not sure if it will be that easy everyday but it could be something for you to maybe try if poss.

I think it was a post from nanny on the first or second page of this thread and she listed a wee routine that she has with her babies. I based it on that, will hopefully try the same again tomorrow but we have a mother and baby/toddler group from 1pm - 3pm so will need to plan things out in the morning!

Hope things have been a bit better for you today

Hi Roopoo, hope all is going better. Mumsnet is great for giving the support.

I've just started a new position, baby 8 hours old and out of hospital already. Will still be on Mumsnet every so often and will keep checking back to see you're doing well.

Hi Roopoo,

I was just checking in to see how you were as well. Did you decide to go on your weekend away? Let us know how it went if you did. Even if things haven't got better, just know that you're not alone. My DD's terrible daytime crying has improved at 18 weeks now she has started napping for a bit longer but getting her off to sleep in the evening is still a horrible 1-2 hour screaming nightmare.

Monkeyfacegrace - you made me laugh too. I am soooooo relieved to know that I'm not the only one who has wanted to leave my screaming LO under a bush in the park for someone else to deal with.

Her 1st, 2nd and 3rd feeds seem quite far apart. Are you sure she isn't hungry? Does she drain the bottle when you give it to her? As soon as she starts draining a bottle with a certain amount in always add an extra ounce from then on until she starts draining that and so on.

Also have you tried infacol, dentinox colic drops or colief?

Perhaps she doesn't like being completely flat? Have you tried putting a couple of books under the top end of her cot to raise it up a bit.

Lastly will she go to sleep in her pushchair, the car or if you rock her/carry her?

Also the baby whisperer EASY routine is really good. I would recommend buying or borrowing the book from the library.

Hiya Ladies

Sorry I haven't been back on... Without tempting fate she has been a little better the last couple of days..

I have been putting a bit of dentinox on her gums a bit before each feed and that seems to make feeding a bit easier..

I am going to go away tonight.. I figure that there is no point locking myself away.. I have still got to have a life and at least i will have family around to help me this weekend if she screams none stop....

Think maybe she has been a little hungry so am increasing feed a bit and also continuing to look for tired signals xxx

thanks to everyone for all the support

Good look with the new baby nannynz ...

Hiya,

I have a three month old who has been blissful until the last week! She has slept through the night from the start and has always been pretty good when i have put her down to sleep but recently, since i have put her on a four hour routeen she has been much less settled and lasts hardly any time during play before crying. Her worst time is around mid day. so two hours after her feed. She always looks exhausted at this time but refuses to have a rest and screams and is just very unsettled. I end up rocking her to sleep for about twenty mins before i can get her to sleep for half an hour. She will then be pretty unsettled for the rest of the day. I wonder if she is teething? Her cheeks are red and she does drool but I cant feel anything if I rub her bottom gum and also think it might be a bit early! Any ideas?

She could be - try some anbesol and see if that helps. 4 hours between feeds does seem quite long, try 3 hours and see if she is a bit more settled? Oh and again have a look at the baby whisperer EASY routine.

Well we went away for the weekend... She screamed a lot of the time.. But she still managed to sleep through.. 6pm-6am with a dream feed at 11pm..

Felt so much better as my mum and hubby were there to help out.... Not as great today as It's just me and the screaming DD.........

I am trying to feed her more often than every four hours and also trying to be a more exciting mum....

She is now over 14 weeks.... so Im clinging onto the fact that surely there must be a breakthrough soon ???

I have the health visitor round today... she seems to think that if she teaches me a few baby massages then it will help.. Im not convinved.. Also after spending an hour weeping on her last week.. I think she probably wants to have a chat about PND

I honestly think Im just worn out with the screaming...................

Is the feeding more often helping do you think? Does she have set times of the time when she seems to scream? The trick is often to feed them and try and get them settled or down for a sleep before the screaming would usually begin and they sleep through that time instead.

Did you try the anbesol in case it was teething? I think you can also give calpol at this age now.

I have tried Dentinox incase it was teething.. She seemed to like it but not sure if it helped..

The feeding we used to do was
7.00am
11.00am
3.00pm
6.00 & 7ish spread the feed out
dream feed at 11.00pm

but today I fed her at 7.00am and then she started screaming at around 10ish so fed her then.. she then played more happily and has just gone for a nap...Not sure if this has helped or whether it has just been a better morning.... Fingers crossed xx

Ah was getting confused. I was talking about Dentinox colic drops and you were talking about teething gel Anbesol is better for teething. It is a liquid so you can apply it with your finger or a cotton bud and it stays on. They just seem to eat the teething gels before they've even done any good.