Been told my 8 month old has developmental problems - very upset, what could your child do at 8 months?

[Gilliana1]

I had to see a specialist today at the hospital about my daughters developmental rate. We knew she was a little behind other babies (I can see this from going to mother + baby groups) but we thought she was just a slow starter.

We've just been told she has developmental issues, perhaps her brain is not wiring properly and they are referring us to some support in the community for and scans of her head (ultrasound and mri)etc. I'm so upset.

I'd be really grateful if anyone can tell me whether they have had this experience before, and what their baby does at 8 months (she is 7 months, 3 weeks) so I know how far adrift she is.

She roll over from back to tummy (only one way). She can't roll back. She can sit up (though sometimes she topples over if she is playng with an object and both hands come off the ground). She holds objects, passes them from hand to hand and if she has two toys in her hands she will bang them together and laugh at the noise. On her tummy she can swivel round in a cicle and crawl a few cms backwards - not forwards.

She doesn't wave if you wave at her, or copy me if I put my hands in the air, or copy my facial expressions (like putting her tongue out). If I try and get her to stand she won't put any weight on her feet.

Any support or advice would be lovely. Thank you.

Oh - and she can't hold her milk bottle - that was sanother test she failed and hence the diagnosis. Does everyones 8 months old hold their own bottle?

Thinking back (my dd2 is 15 months) I think she was copying facial expressions and like your dd play with toys and pass them from hand to hand.
She only started bottom shuffling in the last 4/5 months though and crawling in the last 3 weeks. She can stand holding onto something but this has only happened in the last week.
She still can't roll over either!

Did they tell you exactly what she was behind with??

I am not an expert but to me your daughter sounds absolutely fin and well within the 'normal' developmental limits.

My ds didn't crawl til nearly 10 months, some never do it. Most babies at this age are still toppling over when they sit up. I think my ds was still a bit wobbley til well over 9 months even though he could sit unaided briefly at 5 months.

DS didn't hold his own bottle til nearly a year old and I wouldn't even expect a baby under 9 months to wave. My ds pointed around 7 months but didn't wave til around 10 months and even now at 22 months will only do it when it suits him but he's awkward!!!

Seriously, to me everything sounds fine but like I said I'm not a professional.

For what it's worth, my friend's ds born at same time as my ds didn't sit up til 10 months and didn't wave til over a year, all still normal. Try not to panic!

I'm sorry to hear that you've been referred, your DD sounds lovely.

Reading your list, I'm not quite sure why you have. At that age, DS could not sit unaided, could not roll (either way), did not copy me, would not eat solid food, could not crawl or move in any way... He could weight-bear though (he could do that almost from birth, which is perhaps why he was not referred. I was told he was normal (on the slow end of normal...). He is now (at 20m) racing around the place and talking in whole sentences . I hope your daughter is the same - never compare at baby groups

(You might get better help in the Special Needs section.)

Oh and even now my ds can roll back to front and front to back but only to the left so I really don't think it's a problem as he was walking at 11 months.

Hmm ,yes agree with others that from what you've put sounds within normal range.

My dd1 didn't crawl until 9 months but walked by 12 months.

My neice didn't sit or crawl until 9 months but walked at 11 months.

I don't think my dd1 waved until about 10 months (and at 4 is probably above average 'academically').

I know other babies that haven't walked until almost 2 but are developmentally fine.

Mind you, if they're getting it checked out it iwll at least rule out there is any fundamental problem and then you can relax in the fact you can leave her and expect her to be there when you come back .

My DS is 9m and has rolled over front to back only a handful of times (never the other way that I'm aware of); doesn't wave, although does clap; loves banging things together and laughing at the noise; sits well; crawls backward but not forward (he's been working on this for a month now and still hasn't mastered it!)...he is also bright and alert, loves eating, is fascinated with guitars and water taps, plays peekaboo round the side of the pram...

Your DD sounds completely normal to me I understand why you're upset, as it's jumping the gun a bit for health pros to suggest she's got developmental problems imo, but you could always go through the process and see what comes out of it if you think it will help put your mind at rest.

My dd exactly the same age as yours, and I hang out with lots of other babies the same age. I know one who can't sit up without toppling and can't move about, a few that are wobbly when sitting, one who can't sit but can crawl, and some that are cruising the furniture already! My dd can sit and roll both ways (although this is recent) and has just learnt to crawl. She can't hold a bottle of milk or bang things together, but she can shake things. Hope this helps, feel free to shout if you've got any q's as our girls are same age, but i hope everyones responses puts your mind at rest a bit.

oh sorry just reread your post, no waving, poking tongue or copying expressions either, though she does laugh if I copy her noises. I don't know any 8 month olds who can wave though. she will stand if I hold her up but only on tiptoes.

DS is 11 month and has just started waving about 1 month ago. I am not an expert but your daughter sounds fine to me!

tbh though if there are any problems surely it's better to know rather than be upset or even offended?

good luck

Hello. I am sorry you feel upset.
As a mum with a child that also failed milestones, my only advice to you is that if a specialist believes your daughter may have issues, then please follow through with any tests and help they may offer. If she does have a problem, then the sooner she receives stimlatory therapy the better.

By 10 months I was pulling my hair trying to convince so called doctors that something wasn't right, they usually prefer to wait and see, so I think you are very lucky if your specialist is taking things seriously.

my ds has only just started waving and he's 16mo!

he never held a bottle either(unless you mean the ones with handles? he can hold those)

your DD sounds normal to me, brain not wiring properly???

i'd wait until she is a year old at least before you even consider worrying about development and take anything any HV tells you with a huge pinch of salt.

and never compare to babies at toddler group

Your DD could easily be fine but nobody here can tell that ... isn't it best to just check it out particularly as a development paed has said it is worth checking out.

If she does have a developmental delay it is important to realise it as soon as possible so remedial help can be given to hopefully get her on track - many babies with a developmental delay just need a little focused help either physio / salt or just parental guidance in areas that can help.

She will not access professional help if it is not needed so take a deep deep breath and force yourself through the next few weeks when you are going to be freaking out no matter what people say.

Remember your DD is still your DD. Still the beautiful perfect baby she is now. And she will be tomorrow and next month. If she gets the all-clear then fine. If she doesn't - that will be fine too and you will cope.

You can't define a child by checklists.

hi my son has gdd he could not roll over or do anything till he was one hes now 2.6 and only just started to walk ,he can only say mmm/dddd like you i was very upset at first,

I am no expert but she sounds okay to me.

DS1 said his first word at 8 months and was walking at 10 months. He was diagnosed with autistic spectrum disorder and gets help at school.

DS2 did everything late as a baby and didn't walk until he was 18 months. He is considered gifted now and does extremely well.

It's so hard to tell with a baby as young as yours.

She sounds a lot further on than my 9 month old nephew who won't lie on his tummy, can't roll over and has just about learnt to sit for precisely 0.5 seconds. No one has mentioned any issues with his development.

But yes, if they suggest test then go with them, if only to put your mind at rest.

great post sweetfall

It doesn't sound as if the specialist communicated with you very well - "brain not wiring properly"

However as others have said it is a good thing that your DD is being checked out. It may just rule out any problems - sometimes these checks happen just to be on the safe side. And if there is an issue, then you will get help sooner rather than later which is very positive. They are looking after her.

I can't really remember what mine did at 8 months but I do know that my DS (13mo) has come on leaps and bounds in the past 3 months - esp. with waving, pointing, copying actions, holding bottle etc. He didn't really do any of these at 8 months. I know it's hard but just try to take it as it comes.

On the basis that I knew there was something wrong with my DD and I was dismissed, I would take the check ups offered and continue to stimulate and love your DD.

good luck.

I am surprised at the referral..my DD DOES have a mild motor delay/hypotonia but wasn't referred for an MRI, she couldn't sit at ALL at 8 months, couldn't hold her bottle until over 12 months and didn't weight bear until 20 months.

HOWEVER, I don't think people on here should just dismiss the word of a hospital specialist who presumably has lots of experience and training.

If it helps reassure, my DD didnt walk until 2 but is currently (2.8) rampaging around the house and tearing it to bits!

didnt mean to shout with the caps there

Gilliana my LO is 8 months tomorrow and does all the things your LO does. He is not crawling yet and does not wave nor hold his bottle. He is bright and happy and i thought he was doing quite well.

Did the specialists explain what else they expect an eight month old to do?

Agree completely with sweetfall...

I think it is good you are being referred - they are obivously on the ball so please do go for the tests...HOWEVER...that being said, my ds1 was like your dd. He did not sit unaided til 9 months, didnt copy things and was a very late talker too...he is fine Just a bit behind others of his age, thats all.

Good luck x

I cannot remember things too clearly but I know my DS certainly didn't start things like waving and clapping until, what seemed like, way after other children. He crawled at about 9.5 mths, start to sit up unaided at 6 mths, he would 'stand' and put weight on his feet from a very early age so we thought he would be an early walker (but he wasn't!).
I agree with sweetfall though, it is pretty useless to compare her to 'checklists'. It is good that you are getting a referral and hopefully it will all turn out to be fine, maybe after a little help.