Been told my 8 month old has developmental problems - very upset, what could your child do at 8 months?

[Gilliana1]

I had to see a specialist today at the hospital about my daughters developmental rate. We knew she was a little behind other babies (I can see this from going to mother + baby groups) but we thought she was just a slow starter.

We've just been told she has developmental issues, perhaps her brain is not wiring properly and they are referring us to some support in the community for and scans of her head (ultrasound and mri)etc. I'm so upset.

I'd be really grateful if anyone can tell me whether they have had this experience before, and what their baby does at 8 months (she is 7 months, 3 weeks) so I know how far adrift she is.

She roll over from back to tummy (only one way). She can't roll back. She can sit up (though sometimes she topples over if she is playng with an object and both hands come off the ground). She holds objects, passes them from hand to hand and if she has two toys in her hands she will bang them together and laugh at the noise. On her tummy she can swivel round in a cicle and crawl a few cms backwards - not forwards.

She doesn't wave if you wave at her, or copy me if I put my hands in the air, or copy my facial expressions (like putting her tongue out). If I try and get her to stand she won't put any weight on her feet.

Any support or advice would be lovely. Thank you.

at 8 months DD could not roll either way, could just about sit up , could hold a bottle but not for long, not weight bearing or trying to crawl or stand or move really. can't remember if she was waving or copying though.

both mine were late rollers ,crawlers and walkers , DS was 18 months before he walked

It sounds to me as though they are being extremely cautious. My children were all slow to do everything so your DD sounds pretty advanced to me.

My son didn't wave, didn't copy anything we did, didn't understand the concept of pointing (still looked at the end of our fingers until he was about 4 or 5!!). He didn't crawl at that age, had very underdeveloped fine motor skills (really couldn't pick anything up with two fingers until much later, his handwriting is still crap now) and certainly didn't pass things from one hand to the other at that age. He didn't have more than a few words at 18 months. He was however walking and getting into all sorts of scrapes at 10 months (never crawled, went straight to walking).

Thank god nobody noticed...

He's now nearly 16, fine, very bright (very above average intelligence in fact) and has just finished his GCSEs, is an RAF cadet, is very strong and gained a lot of coordination around age 11.

Sometimes I think they like to worry parents. All you can do is, I suppose, take the tests they offer and take the findings with a pinch of salt.

I have not read the whole thread. DD1 didn't meet milestones - had a brain haemorhage (sp) within one week of being born and consultant said mri indicated high risk of cerebral palsy as well as sight, hearing and other issues.

She could sometimes sit alone at 8 months but didn't crawl until 13 months. She was 15 months + when she starting walking alone.

She is now 2.9yo and, apart from some sight issues, she is 'normal' and quite advanced in her speech and understanding (according to the consultant). She is now only under ophthalmic consultant not paed.

Do go through with any referral and any support offered. However, don't automatically worry that scans will a) see any damage and b) mean long term damage.

Dd is 1 yo and still doesnt hold her bottle. Seems like an odd test.

My friends ds is 1yo and is still rolling and only just sitting up on his own. He wont put any weight on his legs either.

Nobody is worried about him as every child is different. Leave it a few months and see how she goes, you may be surprised that she starts doing loads of things in one go

Thanks for the BRILLIANT response.

I don't feel quite so panicked now. I will take her for the recommended tests etc. But hearing that other 7 and 3/4 month olds are at a similiar stage makes me feel so much better (and less guilty as I came away wondering how on earth I could have missed her being massively behind etc).

I really wished I'd questioned the consultant now over some of the questions he asked. Like whether she can hold her own milk bottle. I was thinking of her 8oz feed and there is no way. Maybe he mean't a small drinking cup with handles (I've not tried but maybe she could briefly).

I also feel really guilty as I keep thinking, 'maybe I dont make her days interesting enough - I'm not playing and developing her enough'. Time for a pizza and to just smile and appreciate how cute she is and how I love her to bits.

Thanks for your super super help.

Hi I wonder if I could ask for some advice?

My 9 month old daughter is VERY scared of other babies when they cry, make a loud noise (even happy ones like laughing!) She has the usual stranger anxiety to an extent, but this seems to be something else and something which my friend's babies (of the same age) aren't experiencing.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Thanks!

Sorry, new to mumsnet. Didn't mean to post here!!!

hi there, yes, being afraid of loud noises, other babies crying is normal

Welcome to MN

Hiya my dd4 is 8 months and she can't crawl backwards or forwards, can't hold a cup or bottle (she is bf but has a juice cup i hold for her) she doesn't wave either. I haven't had any concerns about her i just thought it was normal.

My dd1 who is now 7 wouldn't bare any weight on her feet until she was 16 months when she started to walk, it was developmental as much as laziness i think!

my ds only sat up at 71/2 months, waved at 9m
has only just startyed copying sticking tongue out at 16 m, couldn't bang two objects together til 9 m

i'm surprised you have been referred. at our 8m check they were not worried and treated me like a total nut job when i raised my concerns.
anyway they were right and ds is completely normal.
go see the specialist, i'm sure it will be fine

That should read wasn't developmental than laziness.

mrsh77 - my ds had exactly this too. it was unbearable, and i worried that he was autistic, he grew out of it by about 14 months when he started shrieking and screaming himself

hope things go ok, from what you say and what I remember your baby doesn't sound delayed but, and I suppose its big but, if the dr thought they should be tested or referred then I'd definitely get that done.. My son had referral to neurologist at very young age, younger than yours, turned out to be absolutely fine, but I remember the absolute awfulness of thinking there was somehing wrong and not knowing. So, sorry this msge is probably not so much use, but just to say, go to whatever referrals they arrange and hopefully everything is fine,

Sounds just like my DS1 at that age - in fact if anything more advanced!

Hi, I wrote this thread about 4 weeks ago about my babies "delayed" development. Would really appreciate some more real life advice from those with 8 months olds. (Mine 8 months two weeks). Apparently, my daughter is delayed because:

1. She should be saying da-da, ma-ma ("babbling") etc instead of just cooing and screaching and laughing.

1. She should be putting weight through her feet, trying to stand up holding objects. In the last 3 weeks she has learnt to crawl and can go from tummy to sitting up to tummy (crawling) and transition really well. But not making any attempt to put weight through her legs/walk when we hold her up.

I'd really love to guage from other Mums whether there are other 8 month 2 week old babies that are not doing 1 and 2 above. And if any didn't do this at 8 months but then did if that makes sense?

Thank you.

it sounds like you are being made to worry totally unecessarily

for instance, my DD was just about sitting unaided at 8 months, never mind trying to stand, she did not crawl until 11 months and walk until 17 months. she is absolutely normal. she did not speak until 2.5, but certainly at 8 months there was no recognisable ma ma da da, but there were responsive noises and laughing

also, she could not have held her bottle and would not have been trying to stand

she is 8 months old!!

there is a range of what is normal, and from what you have posted, your daughter sounds normal

was there something at birth or during pregnancy that indicated she might at risk of brain injury hence the worry and the recommendations for scans.

i would have thought that would have been used only when there were severe issues

mrsh - my son was exactly the same - he used to howl if any other babies cried or shouted or anything else when they were in the same room as him. It got to the point where one of the other babies could fall over and hurt themselves, and yet ds would cry for longer and louder than they did. He has been growing out of it for a while (he's almost 20 months now), but if he is tired or in an unfamiliar situation, he will still do it sometimes.

Am with lulu- dd could just about sit up but couldn't crawl until 11 months - and not walking yet at 13 months. I am not sure she was saying dada at 8 months as that too is something that has only just really started to be clearer.

ffs, who is telling you these things? My DS is 10mo and only really started doing the dadamamalalababa babble in the last few weeks. He isn't pulling up or trying to walk when you hold him upright. I have no concerns at all; he's perfectly alert and developing normally, just a pudding

Really annoyed on your behalf. Please challenge these people and ask for a detailed explanation of how and why they have arrived at these judgements.

my absolutely normal dd couldn't get into a sitting position on her own until 13 mths (though could sit if put in that position from about 9 mths), crawled at 14 mths didn't weight bear until 14 mths, walked at 18 mths. She didn't say anything recognisable until after 2 yrs.

My DD is 6 now but dredging my memory!

She could sit up ish by 8m. Made a lot of noise but nothing as clear as ma-ma da-da. She could roll and turn in a circle when on the floor and started to 'commando crawl' on her stomach at about 8/9m.

Couldn't wave til about 10/11m, not reliably anyway. She would sometimes copy simple actions (putting a ball in a cup is one I remember) from about 8m if she felt like it but not facial expressions until later.

No idea if she could hold a bottle as she was BF at that age (daft thing to test IMO) but she could self-feed solids pretty well - how is your DD's eating?

Is there any other reason for this concern, as Lulu suggested?

I've had nothing but negative comments from my public health nurse about my DD (17 months). She didn't sit unaided until 12 months, crawled at 14 months and has just started pulling to stand. She only says a couple of words..hiya,no,yeah.
At first I was upset that they seemed to think she was delayed but now I dont give a shit what they think. She will do things in her own time and just because she wasnt walking 12 months doesnt mean that she going to have 'problems'. I'm not going to bother taking her anymore.