Clever DS (6) constantly naughty at school -- don't know what to do. PLEASE help

[BEAUTlFUL]

My June-born DS1 is great fun, very bright, but seems to be refusing to do his work at school. I don't know what to do.

I am cooperating with his teacher so every day she tells me if he's had a "good" day or a "not-good" day. It's really always a "not-good" day.

She says he can do the work, but chats constantly, fidgets on the carpet, and is very easily distracted. It's quite a "strict" infant school, so they really don't tolerate any messing about.

What is really getting to her, though, is that he is defiant, constantly seeing what he can get away with, or looking to see if he can get away with simply not doing the work that he is MORE than capable of doing.

So far his punishments have been: being kept in at break to complete the work (whereupon he always finishes it in 5 minutes), and today she kept him in all lunchtime for defiance. Her next move is to make him stay in the headteacher's office all day on Weds if he is naughty tomorrow.

What can I do? We have obviously talked to him constantly about why it's important to work at school but he honestly doesn't seem to "get it". It breaks my heart as he stands there promising solemnly to try harder, then gets distracted two seconds later.

I'm a bit like this myself so might be failing to be as consistent as I should be, but we have a deal where, if he has a not-good school day, he isn't allowed DS at home. Is that fair? Or am I just punishing him twice, IYKWIM?

I look around at everyone else's children and think, where have I gone SO wrong? Please tell me what I can do. I'm completely lost. Thanks.

Just read through this thread and what struck me is how many people replied saying their ds of similar age was just the same as the OP's. I wondered if it's just the way a lot of boys of that age are?

My ds turned 6 2 weeks ago, just coming to end of year 1. He's very dreamy, creative, imaginative, unfocused at school and very easily distracted, sometimes quite hyper, very strong-willed, defintely has own agenda, hates being directed, making progress with reading etc but not doing brilliantly and he really doesn't see the point. I feel he's a bright child with much beneath the surface.

To be honest I haven't worried much about him, but after reading this thread I'm wondering if I should worry? I just assumed he's one of the kids who is not ready to start school at 4 and would do better in the european system of waiting until 6. I don't think he's achieved much by being pushed early.

Although he drives me crazy at times I'm trying to accept it's just the way he is and he'll progress at his own rate. He certainly doesn't respond to rewards/punishments - have completely abandoned all of that.

I honestly think a lot of boys in particular are not ready for school until 6 and we expect such a lot of them in UK.

KTNoo That's a whole new thread and I have been involved in several of them. I am a very strong believer that our children start formal education way too early. This also goes for girls, but boys seem to struggle more with the social & conforming side rather than the academic. I read recently that for every 50 children with special needs in schools, 45 of them are Summer babies I also read that a majority of them are girls. I know my son has struggled at school (August born) and at the end of yr 1 has only just started settling in. He too doesn't see the point of it all and often comments that he's bored and hates it. He also does not respond well to a reward system - life should be one big party to him. I haven't got the heart to tell him he's in it for another 11 years at least

I think our boys would get along well ICANDOTHAT!

I take heart from us living abroad - ds is with kids from all different countries so lots of diff opinions which is good. We are about to move and our kids will go into the International Bacceaulaureate system which is more focused on learning by practical experience rather than worksheets - ds's current teacher, although he loves her, has a real penchant for worksheets, which ds hates!

hi to all. End of the school year!!

was wondering how the last few weeks went for you all and how the school reports were?

Ours has been alot calmer. We are trying not to shout and to stay calm and that seems to have more of an impact that shouting when he does something wrong. His old teacher also seemed to be very "shouty" so i think he may have tuned out to it all.

School report was surprisingly positive. he scored good grades in all subjects. I do feel more positive for september as the yr2 teacher seems to have some good ideas for the class.

hi, i know this is an old thread but i was wondering how everyone was and wanted to update you on us.

My sons new teacher has been FANTASTIC. She spotted straight away the difficulties he has in class and has set up strategies for him and rewards just for him. He is so much better at school and is hardly ever in trouble now.

He is in the process of being assessed for ADHD and Aspergers as the school do think he has the traits