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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

HV check list for 3 yr olds. can your 3 yr old do the following?

83 replies

deaconblue · 23/04/2009 21:30

dress self
use knife and fork
hop
recite full name and address
understand stranger danger?

ds can only get bottom half off and nothing at all on. He uses fork and spoon. no chance at hopping, can hardly stand on one leg. And it has never occurred to me to teach him his address or mention strangers, although I'm sure he could recite address if I did teach him.
The stranger danger one seems really odd to me. I thought it was accepted that children are much more likely to be harmed by someone known to them than by a stranger.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Prosecco · 23/04/2009 23:43

dress self- yes , in several different outfits a day
use knife and fork- possibly but far too lazy
hop- yes
recite full name and address name and town
understand stranger danger? yes- dg got her a naff book about it so she aware of the concept, that's not to say she would follow it

lockets · 23/04/2009 23:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

CompareTheMeerkat · 23/04/2009 23:55

lockets, your DD3 can't be 4 can she

lockets · 24/04/2009 02:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

cory · 24/04/2009 08:16

dress self- nope not until 4 and ds needed

help for much longer

use knife and fork- with difficulty

hop- myess

recite full name and address- doubt it

understand stranger danger?- when mine were 3 I was there to keep an eye on them

Nemoandthefishes · 24/04/2009 08:24

dress self yes both 3yr odl and 2yr old can
use knife and fork yes both dds can
hop yes
recite full name and address can both tell you full name but not address but DS could tell you address at 3
understand stranger danger not at all

theyoungvisiter · 24/04/2009 08:28

DS1 is three next month.

He can put his pants and trousers on but not his top - TBH half the time I can't get his top on without a struggle. The child has a big head (literally).

Use knife and fork - yes

Hop - no idea, I shall try in the park today!

Recite full name and address - name but not address

Understand stranger danger - no. I don't think I want to go down that route yet. If he got lost I'd rather he approach someone than cower in the bushes sobbing.

StealthPolarBear · 24/04/2009 08:30

not sure if I can hop and I'm nearly 30

BonsoirAnna · 24/04/2009 08:35

LOL at morningpaper

My DD (4.5) doesn't need to be told about stranger danger - she is naturally wary of people she doesn't know, which I think is is a Very Good Thing.

MadamAnt · 24/04/2009 08:36

DS is 2.8 and can't do any of those things. Pretty optimistic to think he'll have developed those skills in four months! However, DD has just turned four and has been able to do all of them for months, so I guess they go through a steep learning curve between 2.6 to 3.6.

littleducks · 24/04/2009 08:38

my nearly three year old can:

can dress herself in trousers/dress/tshirt combos but struggles with tights, needs me to do buttons/zips/poppers but this is very dependant upon mood, she put two t shirts on one on top of the other perfectly so you couldnt see it was two as all lined up once but when i need her to get dressed 'its not working'

use fork fine, has a go with knife but doesnt cut much however it is fairly blunt

hop holding onto things well, but without holding on does some crazy funny things

knows first name and surname not middle, street name and town tends to forget house number

understand stranger danger- to a degree, know she is supposed to stay close, knows she isnt supposed to run away, has a vague idea that she shouldnt do things with other people without asking me (sweets/go to park etc) has a far greater sanse of road safety and cars being dangerous and needing to stay close holding pram in car parks, not running into roads etc

we dont get a 3yr health check here

duchesse · 24/04/2009 08:39

My son at 3 could hardly do any of that list. Dressing himself he considered unnecessary and beneath him. Ditto knife and fork (although he had begun using them aged 1 in imitation (fed himself at 7 months)). No sure whether he coul hop or not, but by god could he climb. full name and address- hahahahaha; I'm really not sure he could do this reliably until he was 12...; understand stranger danger- hmmm not sure; he was quite reticent with strangers and wouldn't have gone off with just anyone, but I think that may have been more due to shyness than any conscious decision.

I realise I'm making him sound a little backward, but nothing could be further from the truth- he has an extremely high IQ (top 2-3%), and is extremely competent and independent (now, at 15.5). I just think he'd fully analysed the situation and decided which bits would be best delegated to a flunky. His little sister, meanwhile (20 months younger) did her best to overtake him in all things and was doing most of the things on your list by 2.

BonsoirAnna · 24/04/2009 08:41

On the getting dressed thing - it's so dependent on the clothes themselves. If dresses have little buttons on the back of the neck, for example, or a back zipper, there isn't a hope in hell that my DD (4.5) can manage it herself. But she went to pre-school at 2.10 and had to button her front buttoning smock (about 8 buttons) every day on her own.

BonsoirAnna · 24/04/2009 08:44

At DD's school canteen they don't give the 4 and 5 year olds knives at all - it's considered far too much of a liability!

ruddynorah · 24/04/2009 08:45

dd is 3 next month.

can dress herself fine including zip up coat. can undo buttons but not do them up.

can use knife and fork.

can hop.

can say full name and knows street and town.

not talked about stranger danger with her.

theyoungvisiter · 24/04/2009 09:26

"By BonsoirAnna on Fri 24-Apr-09 08:44:20
At DD's school canteen they don't give the 4 and 5 year olds knives at all - it's considered far too much of a liability!"

I've never understood that - I have friends who happily let their DCs play with forks but snatch a table knife away the moment it gets into their hands.

Surely a fork is much more liable to cause an injury? I think people have a sort of scary-by-association thing with table knives because of the association with kitchen knives.

lingle · 24/04/2009 09:48

What an appalling idea about the stranger danger. This must be to do with some beaurocrat deciding the NHS is less likely to be sued if it tells parents to carry out this inappropriate behaviour.
I will talk about it with my son (6) when he starts going out on his own.

theyoungvisiter · 24/04/2009 09:50

I don't think anyone would sue the NHS because their child was abducted!

smee · 24/04/2009 09:59

Seriously that's one hell of a tick list. No wonder I avoided HV after babydom...

ThingOne · 24/04/2009 10:12

My five year old only learned to hop this year and he's still not good at it, and he only learned to dress himself under intensive tuition just before he started school.

My 2.11 year old can hop, use a knife and fork (but doesn't often use a knife for the correct purpose) and dress himself. He prefers tshirt and shorts but can put on other things if he's really cross .

IMO he's too young for proper "stranger danger" lessons. I agree, it is fact that children are far more likely to be harmed by people known to them. I refuse to make my children victims of media hysteria. No doubt his nursery is filling the gap .

Our address? No idea. He may well do. Shall I start training him now, in case my HV comes round for a coffee in my sunny garden birthday check up?

Elk · 24/04/2009 10:21

Oh dear, dd2 is not doing well

dress self - why bother, being naked is much better or I'm around to do it.

use knife and fork - fork only

hop -no idea, but she loves jumping

recite full name and address - She gets mixed up between her and her big sisters name, she knows we live in no. 3 but only because thats her age.

understand stranger danger? - why, she's always with me!!

On the other hand she loves playing on the Cbeebies website and her mouse control is excellent.

Luckily I haven't seen the HV since she was 9 months.

ThingOne · 24/04/2009 10:28

Mouse control is very important Elk, I agree. My 2.11 DS2 also has impressive control of the wii controller and can swing like the a monkey. Where are these crucial skills on the list, I wonder?

slng · 24/04/2009 10:36

DS2 is 3 and a bit.

dress self - yes if he wants to, no if he doesn't. Especially NO and won't let you help if you are in a hurry.

use knife and fork - yes if he wants to, no if he doesn't. He can even get food into his mouth with chopsticks, though not always conventionally.

hop - no, but he can jump though. The whole house shakes when he does.

recite full name and address - never tried that. Do people do roll calls routinely!?

understand stranger danger - don't know ... Must get on to this at some point ...

Triggles · 24/04/2009 12:14

Is this supposed to be stuff they know by the time they are 3, or goals to learn while they are 3???

sc13 · 24/04/2009 12:29

Personally, this list sounds insane, and yet another example of the increasing 'test-mentality' that is creeping into UK provisions for early years. I'd much prefer a system where 1) parents go to the HV/GP when they are worried about something, and get seen quickly and taken seriously; 2) the emphasis is on what the individual child does and is like, rather than verifying the child's plus-es and minus-es against a number of boxes to tick

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