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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Anyone got a child older than 2 years 5 months with no words at all yet

62 replies

nappyaddict · 22/04/2009 19:14

My friend's DD is 2 years 7 months and is still not talking. She hadn't been worried because another friend of ours has a DS who didn't say his first word until he was 2 years 5 months. Now she wants some reassurance that there's nothing wrong with her DD and that there have been children who have started talking older than our friend's DS with no other problems.

She is down for SALT but the wait in our area is 12 months.

OP posts:

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CoteDAzur · 22/04/2009 19:26

I would be worried. Tell the mum to have her hearing checked as a first step.

We live in a very multilingual area, with most children learning at least two and some (like DD) on three languages. DD was late to talk, but at 2 years, she had a number of words (less than 10).

When DD was about 1.5 yo, her pediatrician said that as long as she said one word correctly (and she did have that one word), there was nothing to worry about.

Original poster

nappyaddict · 22/04/2009 19:27

She's had a hearing test and it was ok.

OP posts:

sphil · 23/04/2009 12:18

What's her understanding of speech like? Does she respond to her name, follow instructions etc?

CoteDAzur · 23/04/2009 15:28

Does she point at things she wants?

Original poster

nappyaddict · 23/04/2009 17:14

Understanding is fine, she responds to her name and instructions. If she wants something she points, shrieks and jumps around until she gets what it is she wants.

OP posts:

lingle · 23/04/2009 17:56

Has your friend asked your advice/led you to think she wants it?

sc13 · 23/04/2009 17:57

Twelve months sounds like a long wait - I assume she has been seen by HV/GP? Your friend could start having a look at the Hanen course 'it takes two to talk' - it is very good and it gives very practical suggestions

cyberseraphim · 23/04/2009 18:17

It does seem late but how are the other skills? Can she use gestures appropriately? Understand adult direction? Play with age appropriate toys normally? Does she share interests with others and is she easily drawn into others' interests? It's hard to give re assurance because although it's possible there is nothing wrong, no words by this age definitely needs attention.

ICANDOTHAT · 23/04/2009 19:25

Is she in a position to pay for a private SALT assessment? Just wondering as they could give her ideas now of how to help her dc. I appreciate this isn't always possible.

We did this with ds2 at 2.6yrs - was the best money spent as it really put my mind at rest.

Original poster

nappyaddict · 23/04/2009 22:04

There aren't any private SALTs around here. I know cos I have already asked myself for DS who also has a 12 month wait ahead of him.

What is the Hanen course and where would we get hold of it?

OP posts:

TotalChaos · 23/04/2009 22:10

ask if any of your local Surestart/children's centres run "~You Make the Difference" courses or a similar course to help you help your child communicate. Hanen courses are good but IME SALT departments won't let you go on them whilst your child is on the waiting list, they have to already have been assessed by SALT.

go on the www.helpwithtalking.com website to look for a private SALT, if you haven't tried that already.

www.teachmetotalk.com has some v. useful info and video clips.

www.ican.org.uk and www.afasic.org.uk are good for general info.

suwoo · 23/04/2009 22:13

Where I live (Manchester) my local sure start place has a drop in clinic with a SALT every week, could you look into that?

cthea · 23/04/2009 22:19

The "It takes two to talk" Hanen book is pretty good for getting ideas. Many things you would do instinctively anyway.

If she hears, understands instructions, points etc - starting to talk is probably just weeks/months away. Still difficult not to worry.

Original poster

nappyaddict · 23/04/2009 23:30

suwoo presumably if there was something like that available we would have been told? I know there is a shortage of SALTs in our area (hence the long wait) so I wouldn't have thought they would have any going spare to attend any sure start clinics. Will have a look into it but I'm not too hopeful.

OP posts:

FrankMustard · 23/04/2009 23:34

There is the possibility that if she doesn't HAVE to say any actual words to get what she wants, she isn't doing so simply because her parents respond automatically.
A friend of mine had a similar situation and it turned out that because she "understood" her son's mumblings and shrieks etc., she automatically got thigns for him so he never actually had to put together any sort of coherent word to communicate. This might not be helpful, but it's a thought.....my friend sat down and realised that she never gave him open questions when asking what he wanted, so ds could just indicate yes or no in some way without actually having to say what he wanted. It's unusual not to have ANY words, but this is quite possibly one angle that might be looked at when your friend takes dd along to be checked by SALT.

suwoo · 24/04/2009 09:08

Nappy, I had no idea that this service was available until I read a brochure for the local centre. We haven't made any enquiries though about SALT, so there was no reason for me to have been informed I suppose. You and your friend could take a day trip up here and spend a day at sure start? .

I am lucky to have a friend who is a SALT and when I was concerned about DS's speech she came round and did a bit of an assessment and gave me some guidance.

goldenhair · 24/04/2009 10:55

Has your friends child had a recent eye test?

my dd didn't talk until almost 3. She would mime out whole scenarios to make herself understood. she had sounds and her own baby babble for a few things and her own made up signs for other things.

Her hearing was fine and her understanding but we found out at 3yrs that she was extremely long sighted and needed glasses forever.

She obviously couldn't see our faces to copy words and sounds and trying to do this would lead to frustrated tantrums.

Apparantly it's common not to realise that your child cannot see properly even though that sounds absurd.

goldenhair · 24/04/2009 10:57

oh we did see speech therapist and at 3 she did a phonics awareness course but speech seemed to come on it'sown around the same time.

Original poster

nappyaddict · 24/04/2009 10:58

goldenhair - how old was she when she said her first word?

OP posts:

goldenhair · 24/04/2009 11:06

she was probably around 2yrs but it was only 2 words and nothing progressed from that for ages.

sphil · 24/04/2009 11:12

My parents didn't realise I was short-sighted until I was 5 - and I was very short-sighted indeed! It didn't affect my speech as far as I know, but it definitely affected my physical abilities - I was extremely cautious, lacked spatial awareness etc - and this has continued to a certain extent.

BlueberryPancake · 24/04/2009 14:59

I don't often do that, but I completely dissagree with one of the posts here - some people assume that if you give your child what he/she wants even if they don't ask for it properly, he/she will become lazy and not talk properly.

I dissagree with that completely. Children learn to speak by imitating sounds and noises, and they get a positive response (by getting what they want). It is very frustrating for them if they don't get what they want, and it is counterproductive.

I have a two year old who has glue ear and can only say one word ('yes'). Imagine how frustrating it would be for him to try to tell me he wants milk if he can't even hear the word properly, and I wouldn't give it to him. Sometimes, glue ear can go undetected for a long time...

So let's say DS wants' milk, he takes me to the fridge and shows me what he wants. I repeat the word 'milk' a few times, and asy 'is it milk that you want? nice cold milk? Milk in your beaker? Yummy milk' mmm milk, milk!. Obviously I have to say it loudly, but repetition is much more efficient then waiting for them to say a word, then they get frustrated and cry. Refusing to give them something creates a very negative feeling towards expressing themselves.

It's not something I've read, it's just my own personal opinion.

TotalChaos · 24/04/2009 18:08

Blueberry - that's pretty much my experience too - that you should only try and make them say the word when it's a realistic goal for them - i.e. when you have heard them use the word spontaneously before, so know they have that somewhere in their mind as it were.

FrankMustard · 24/04/2009 20:52

I know where you're coming from with your posts, BlueberryPancake and TotalChaos but having studied child language development and acquistion sometimes the fact that the child is always given the words and never given the chance to explain themselves by themselves can be counterproductive to them developing communication skills and in fact this was the case with a friend of mine and her dd. It was only an avenue I was suggesting might be valid - if it's not in this case, that's fine. I would never suggest that things should be withheld from children just because they don't know the words for it, only that sometimes some parents automatically do everything without giving the child a chance to ask for it themselves. Sorry if I sounded like some sort of hard woman! I'm really not!

gussymooloo · 25/04/2009 21:48

My DD is 3 in aug and shes still not speaking, no physical problems, hearing ok.

Had SALT assessment and the advice was to teach her signs and keep repeating/talking to her, she asks for things by pointing, so i dont get her what she wants straight away, i play dumb and we make a game of it.. me guessing and saying things her laughing and pointing!

she gets very frustrated and so do i! shes been assessed for a specialist SALT nursery placement in sept.

she seems to struggle with tongue movement, (not tongue tied) so we do lots of tongue wiggling games... sighs

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