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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

advice needed from parents of 9/10 year old boys

40 replies

bouncymumof2 · 19/04/2009 12:28

Need some advice on what your child is like as I seem to be rowing endless with Dh about our DS who is 9 and a half.

On one hand he is helpful, does his share of chores without much problems, still gets kissed and cuddles and on the whole does as he is asked.

But on the other hand he has started to be less respectful, which I am sure is an age thing. But my dh seems to think that boys of his ages shouldn't cry as much as ds does, he often cried 2/3 times a day over what we would consider silly things. It drives us nuts that he seems away in his own little planet sometimes making silly noises when he doing tasks, and if you give him 2 instructions he remembers the first then forgets. He constantly interupts when me and dh are talking and its not like he being rude on purpose but he not noticed we were talking if that makes sense.

He is not a bad lad by any means, and on the whole he is brill, I just wanted other peoples advice on boys of similar age to show dh thread and see that its not just our son.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

RubyrubyrubyRubis · 19/04/2009 12:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RoseOfTheOrient · 19/04/2009 12:41

absolutely normal - we have a just-turned-10 year old, and and while he doesn't cry much, he does get irrationally angry/upset at very silly things. He never shuts up, he leaps and runs around like a 3 year old, but has a tall, gangly body that crashes into things. He seems to take perverse pleasure in winding his sister, and me, up.
He has actually been worse than this, and is slowly getting better.
He does help out, and still wants his back rubbed at bedtime, and a cuddle

cazzzz · 19/04/2009 12:43

Hi Mum of 2

My son is 8 (see post below on sport) and sounds similar to your son.

We don't have the crying episodes, but funny noises, interruptions, and forgetting simple sequences of tasks (brush teeth and put on shoes) are common.

Your post has reassured me!

Original poster

bouncymumof2 · 19/04/2009 12:46

brilliant thanks, any more keep them coming, dh doesn't know many children and when he was a child children were seen and not heard, he desperately doesn't want to be like his parents so every comment will help.

OP posts:

serenity · 19/04/2009 12:48

Yep, sounds normal to me - I get a mixture of all that from DS1 (11) and DS2 (almost 9). Neither of them are trying to deliberately be a pita but sometimes it's really hard to remember that.

Original poster

bouncymumof2 · 19/04/2009 12:51

thats it serenity, when he says sorry we know he 100% means it, then 2 mins later he does it again.

OP posts:

Niecie · 19/04/2009 12:53

He sounds exactly like my 8.9yr old and whilst he does have mild AS/dyspraxia and I have a tendency to blame all 'difficult' behaviour on that, I have seen time and again on MN that boys of this age often behave in this way.

There seems to be a bit of a blip for boys from the age of 8 to 10 yrs when they a mixed up bag of toddlers, little boys and teenagers and flip from being very grown up to babies in the blink of an eye and bacj again. Then from about 10 they seem to calm down a bit until the teenage hormones kick in properly.

I would love to do some research on why that is but it does sound very normal.

cazzzz · 19/04/2009 13:10

Hello again -

I'm finding this thread great... so many things ring true.

My 8 yo also spends quite a lot of time waging psychological (and sometimes physical) warfare on his younger brother. Fighting drives me NUTS and seems so unpleasant - I am trying to look on it like owning 2 labradors who chew each other, but often it feels more like witnessing domestic violence.

I have to say I am loving this age though - 8yo and 5yo - no more baby grind and you can actually get out and do heaps of things as a family - fantastic.

inthegardenifyouneedme · 19/04/2009 13:28

My son is 9 and is alway banging off upstairs in a huff. He forgets to flush all the time, leaves clothes on the floor, winds up and bosses about his brother, Makes silly noises, jumps about like a 4 year old again as previous post said and is also a big boy and ends up crashing and knocking things over. Will be very lazy if we let him and have to drag him out to go for days out or visits often with the nintendo ds as a bribe. But...he loves a snuggle at bedtime and is very kind underneath it all.

BunnyAndJoon · 19/04/2009 13:35

bouncymumof2 it sounds like my DS2 (9yo) is living with you part time

Crying over silly things - tick
Daft noises - tick
Cuddles - tick
Own little world - tick
Interrupting - tick

Also just doesn't hear you at all if he is watching telly - it is like he is memorised by it, and won't get dressed, answer questions etc so I have to turn it off.

cazzzz · 19/04/2009 13:42

BunnyandJoon - you need to write a comedy strip about this stuff - I have just been chuckling away at your post!

A great thread - looks like we've all got lovable boys with a few annoying tendencies!

I'm off to bed (I'm over in Australia). Goodnight all.

Original poster

bouncymumof2 · 19/04/2009 13:49

this thread is helping me no end. Saying to my dh that most boys are like this is one, but showing him posts are another.

OP posts:

cazzzz · 19/04/2009 14:04

By the way one extra thing I have noticed is that my family set up now is very different to when I was a child:

Now : 2 boys, 8 and 5 (noisy, lots of play but minimal help to each other or me, need to be exercised every day like having 2 bouncy dogs)

My childhood: 2 girls, 8 years apart (very peaceful, lots of babysitting by me as the older child, lots of "colouring in", off to boarding school at 10yo for me - even more peace for my parents!)

[I'm still adjusting to the differences and my expectations of what I thought bringing up children would involve!!]

How different were your and your husband's childhoods from the situation your child is now in?

Niecie · 19/04/2009 14:22

I have a younger brother and I think he was very much like my boys now. I was probably more like you - lots of colouring, drawing, playing schools and quiet games. However, I do remember being forced out to play a lot of the time and plenty of tree climbing and den building so I suppose having a mixed household made for some differences and I doubt I would have done those things if I didn't have a brother. My brother wasn't much help to anybody either although I wasn't allowed to get away with that.

DH's household sounds like yours as well. He is one of 3 boys and his younger brothers were loud and fought although DH claims he spent his time reading and playing sport and never ever got involved in the rough and tumbled with his brother. again

I do think boys are fab though. (I mine are also 5 and 8 too). Generally uncomplicated creatures.

cazzzz · 19/04/2009 14:29

Hi Niecie

This is getting addictive!

I must be off to bed!

It sounds like we have a matching pair of boys!

Right - on with laying out the school clothes and washing the lunchboxes ... have a good day!

Original poster

bouncymumof2 · 19/04/2009 15:22

thats it, its a totally different life, i lived on to a field and was away out playing with older brother, we dont live near a play bit and i not keen on him playing in the street.

OP posts:

andlipsticktoo · 19/04/2009 15:36

Hi all!

I'm a mum of 3 boys, 12,10 and 6 and all the behaviour described above applies here too! Including the crying/getting frustrated particularly with ds2.

However, I have discovered a secret.... Warhammer 40000!
They spend hours building, sanding, painting these tiny little creature things, and then play a very complicated game with it. They visit a place called 'Games Workshop' (boy heaven) to buy, build, paint and play, and when they reach 10 they can be left unsupervised!

It keeps them busy and quiet for hours!

andlipsticktoo · 19/04/2009 15:38

and I have to say (though he'd rather i didn't) dh is rather taken with it! [grin}

MayorNaze · 19/04/2009 15:38

perfectly normal, unfortunately

ds is 10 in june - sometimes i think he likes nothing more than just winding people up with all of the behaviour listed here! ho hum...

overweightnoverdrawn · 19/04/2009 17:19

Ds is also 10 in June . Runs round like a bloody idiot . Sings annoying tunes when doing tasks . When asked to empty the dishwasher he replys NO . When told to do dishwasher he will do it under duress. He stoompts upstairs so much Im sure hes worn a path in the carpet. Very argumentative.But look in on him when he is sleeping and he will be cuddling his bear so tight its so sweet ,they are seriously still babies at this age thay are like toddlers in larger bodies thats all . LOL

Original poster

bouncymumof2 · 19/04/2009 18:58

yep my son still has his teddy. Feeling much better after reading the thread.

OP posts:

subtlemouse · 19/04/2009 19:01

Mine is 9. Another vote for normality! (Though it is reassuring to find out that it is normal - I too have fretted, esp about the still crying at drop of pin thing...)

Mumwhensdinnerready · 19/04/2009 20:17

Absolutely spot on behaviour for his age. My two boys were both the same.

I'd say they both were very quick to tears until around 11 years old then it eased off.
DS2 (11) still has his cuddly blanket in bed.

bellavita · 19/04/2009 20:22

Same behaviour applies in this household!!

Insanity · 19/04/2009 20:43

OMG my son is normal!!

He is 8 and I was just about to google "how to improve my sons memory", but then MN reassures me it is completely normal. Also the crying and emotional thing is very true at the moment, and when he is upset a whole load of things that he feels are wrong and unfair in his life come tumbling out!

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