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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

advice needed from parents of 9/10 year old boys

40 replies

bouncymumof2 · 19/04/2009 12:28

Need some advice on what your child is like as I seem to be rowing endless with Dh about our DS who is 9 and a half.

On one hand he is helpful, does his share of chores without much problems, still gets kissed and cuddles and on the whole does as he is asked.

But on the other hand he has started to be less respectful, which I am sure is an age thing. But my dh seems to think that boys of his ages shouldn't cry as much as ds does, he often cried 2/3 times a day over what we would consider silly things. It drives us nuts that he seems away in his own little planet sometimes making silly noises when he doing tasks, and if you give him 2 instructions he remembers the first then forgets. He constantly interupts when me and dh are talking and its not like he being rude on purpose but he not noticed we were talking if that makes sense.

He is not a bad lad by any means, and on the whole he is brill, I just wanted other peoples advice on boys of similar age to show dh thread and see that its not just our son.

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Original poster

bouncymumof2 · 19/04/2009 21:13

so glad I started this thread now. glad my son is normal well mn normal lol and I am normal to have worried.

OP posts:

milou2 · 19/04/2009 21:25

My boys are 11 and 13. I absolutely agree about the tears and emotions. They can turn so quickly, quite bolshy and stroppy one minute, vulnerable and needing sophisticated understanding the next, from the same parent they were so rude to. (ie me)

They seem so respond well to a routine, by which I mean the duvet and hot water bottle each night, gentle reminders x3 to brush their teeth, just the same old, same old home life. No big surprises or thrills.

GoodbyeClement · 19/04/2009 21:33

Same again! I bet mine (9) is bolshier than others though, he's shockingly rude and lazy and aggressive to his little sis (5). Life is a constant battle and i do nothing but nag him. he doesn't like cuddles or kisses, but will occasionally accept them from me if i really pull all the stops out. doesn't lift a finger. unless paid.

no powers of concentration, permanent attitude of 'what?! it's not my fault/it's not fair', regardless of what we're actually saying....

flip to lovely and funny in an instant.

bellavita · 19/04/2009 21:50

DS2 luckily loves lots of kisses and cuddles, he is very affectionate.

Original poster

bouncymumof2 · 19/04/2009 22:29

its nice isn't it, although he acts coy infront of anyone else.

OP posts:

ingles2 · 19/04/2009 22:39

my 9.5 ds1 is exactly the same,
can also be a complete pita,
mind on a different planet (usually a football planet)
would forget his own head if it wasn't screwed on
and sobs regularly over his homework, even though he's a clever boy and can do it no problem.
Has started to answer back and have an opinion (how dare he!)
and
He can turn a teeny tiny little molehill of problem into a major mountain atm.
A mountain that comes with associated shouting, strops and tears.
and then from time to time I get a glimpse of a wonderful boy who is growing into a potentially fantastic man and I forgive him everything....
I'm bloody relieved he's back to school tomorrow though.

bellavita · 19/04/2009 22:54

yeah, tis nice, makes me a leeetle bit mad though when it is cupboard love!

NorthernNell · 20/04/2009 13:25

Thank goodness!

Have 1 DS age 12 (3 DD 18,16 and 9) was begining to wonder if DS spending too much time with girls!

Still has teddy - though now stays at home if he's on a sleepover after unfortunate incident in February!

Warhammer 4000 if fab! even if I have small bits a plastic weaponry stuck to my dinning room table!

sinpan · 20/04/2009 13:44

All sounds perfectly normal. My DS s aged 10 and 11 are both like this in different ways - and they love Warhammer.

I never worry about what's normal behaviour and what's not anyway, as long as it's not harmful, where's the worry?

ICANDOTHAT · 20/04/2009 14:38

Really common at this age to break down over the silliest of things. My ds2 is now 12yo and we have been through the last couple of years full of tears and attitude. I think we are going into the "God, I hate you. You just want to ruin my life" phase now .... can't wait !!

Chin up!

Original poster

bouncymumof2 · 20/04/2009 15:11

Had a lovely day with ds today, tried to ignore most of the normal pita bits and ita definately helped.

OP posts:

Mumwhensdinnerready · 20/04/2009 17:46

Insanity my DS2 does that thing where when he's upset he dredges up all sorts to "feed" his sorrow. He has a list of BadThings* ThatHaveHappened which dates back to when the goldfish died 7 years ago and includes all kinds of minor tragedies.

applepudding · 20/04/2009 18:22

bouncymumof2 - my DS is only 7 but his behaviour/temperament is exactly like that of your DS.

Insanity · 20/04/2009 21:21

Mumwhensdinnerready - Very true and funny, also he is never to blame for his wrong doings, always someone elses fault to start with that made him do it! Its pointless trying to stop the dredging, he will think of something else - god help his future wife when they have an argument!!

marmoset · 20/04/2009 22:22

Absolutely normal. Hormones beginning to rage, I'm afraid and you'll get four seasons in one day from him. Try giving him a little more responsibility at this age and tell him in a grown up conversation that disrespect is not cool, however he's feeling.

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