What age should I be concern if child doesn't speak?

[BlueberryPancake]

My DS2 is turning 2 in a couple of weeks and he isn't saying anything. He doesn't say any words at all, and he can sometimes imitate some animal sounds (sometimes-rarely). I am starting to panic a bit - mostly because he had a hearing test earlier this week and his hearing is OK, but the specialist said that his speech 'delay' isn't due to his hearing, implying that it was due to something else.
First, it is the first time that someone actually tells me that my DS has a speech delay. Second, the implication that DS's speech delay was due to a cause (apart from the fact that some kids just speak later than others). The hearing specialist told me that Ds's behaviour doesn't appear to be normal for his age.

I saw the health visitor yesterday and she also gave me the impression that she thought something wasn't right with DS. She is refering me to a team of pediatric development specialists for a full assessment of his mental development.

To be honnest, I am surprised with all this fuss because to me, DS doesn't have a behaviour or development problem. He communicates in many ways, looks at people in the eyes, points, grunts, plays well with other kids, underrstand many many things that I tell him, loves his books, his toys, his brother. He is a very happy little chap and he loves running around like a normal 2 yo. He is cheeky sometimes, and he does have tentrums once in a while, but isn't that normal? He doesn't have any repetitive play (which I think is a sign of autism), he is sensitive to other people's feelings (he will be upset if his brother is upset, for example)...

I have been on a waiting list for an assessment with speech therapists and the appointment is next week, I am looking forward to seeing them but at the same time dreading it. I am scared that they will tell me that something is wrong.

Should I really panic at this stage? There are so many people who tell me that their kid didn't speak before the age of 2...

No, I would say if he is not saying ANYTHING, nothing at all, by 2, then you should get him looked at.

Don't panic. There's nothing to panic about. But better that he is looked at than not.

He'll probably turn to you one day and speak in a perfectly formed, complex sentence some kids do that.

BUT..if he needs some help, he'll get it.

My DS didn't speak until he was just past 2, i also was really worried, but like you and your DS he was ok with no bahaviour problems, I was about to see GP about it when all of a sudden he just started talking. I put it all down to him been an only child and having no peers around him. He started nursery and it all came at once.
Now he's 3.5 and never shuts up! Your doing the right thing by seeing GP etc, I'll be thinking of you.

I agree with Hecate - It could be that he's at the very late end of normal and certainly what you say about him suggests that might be the case - pointing, understanding etc but I don't think you should turn down the chance to get it checked and to get him help to start speaking. I don't want to worry OP/Blueberry because her case may be different- but if a child is non verbal at 2, further investigations are necessary. I'm widening this out from the OP but I have never come across a case of a child who magically started to speak in sentences from nothing - there was always much more going on in the background than is told in the story - which might be going on with the OP's child. People mean different things by not speaking, a friend told me her 2 year old son 'could not speak' but she meant he could not say 'th' sounds properly.

''I have never come across a case of a child who magically started to speak in sentences from nothing''

I don't mean that I've studied thousands of cases but that's just the impression I've got from what I've read on the subject!

It is knackering going through umpteen NHS and Early Years etc referrals but ultimately better than leaving it IN CASE something needs addressing. My DD is just turning 3 and wasn't speaking at 2 - had about 5 words / sounds which were hard to decipher. She now has many more words but is still very hard to understand. Doesn't sound like your DS is displaying obvious signs of autistic behaviour but there is verbal dyspraxia or speech impediments etc to consider. We too have been through lots of hearing tests with DD - she has a slight impairment but we still can't get to the bottom of whether it is significant enough to affect speech. Speaking as a mum who has been excessively stressed, panicked and worn down by it all it is still worth accessing professional support and specialist referrals as long as you stay in the driving seat. DD enjoys many of her 'special' appointments and teachers that visit her at nursery etc.

cyber - according to my mother, I did. Didn't talk at all until, i think she said nearly 3, then suddenly started talking - in sentences. And reading. read the hobbit at 4. again, according to my mother.

I say this cos she is the same person who, for a laugh, told everyone I watched postman pat...
...I was 16.

so I'm not totally sure she can be relied upon.

There is always the exception to every rule ! But seriously I was just thinking yesterday 'Isn't it weird how DS2 2.4 (NT) can suddenly speak in sentences when 'only yesterday' all he could say was 'bapple' meaning apple - but it wasn't yesterday according to the calendar, it was 10 months ago. Tempus Fugit and all that.

Very true.

Blueberrypancake what was it about your ds's behaviour that the HV thought was not 'normal' ?

For example, he is very focused on whatever he plays with and cannot be easily distracted. He gets very involved in whateve he is doing. In the HV's office, he was playing with cars on the floor and she came behind him, called his name, touched his ear and he never turn around to look at her. Also, he is a bit obsessed with numbers and shapes and can point at all numbers from 1 to 10, and he knows all the basic shapes and colors. He 'plays' the piano many times a day but will not play if he doesn't have a music sheet in front of him and he really looks as if he is playing for real (imitating his dad). He is otherwise in tune with other kids, he smiles a lot and looks in the eyes, points, grunts, and responds normally to instructions.

He knows and hums lots of nursery rhymes can do all the hand gestures. We are trying sign language with him but he doesn't get it - will be consistent and maybe he will be better at communicating with that.

Bluebeeypancake

being refered is best thing at least your in system if he does need help

and as for sign laungage it can take time took 12 months for my ds to sign back but now hes took of with it

As for cause might not get a reason we never been told why ds cant talk hes 3.9 and still non verbal
come join us on the special needs boards theres a lot of us with dc with speech delays/disorders

Blueberrypancake (((HUGS))) I'm in much the same boat.

I have 2 year old twins. One is talking away (DS2) the other isn't saying any recognisable words (DS1). DS1 failed a hearing test in January and was diagnosed with glue ear but at the time several people said that it wasn't an explanation (in his case) for his total lack of words. His glue ear appears to have cleared up and he passed a hearing test last week. He mainly says dadadada over and over again and squeals a lot. He is like your ds very happy and smiley. I think not saying anything by 2 is unusual and if you question what others say about this, you will generally find that their ds/dd were saying words by then, just not many.

DS was assessed by a private paed last week who put him at the 16 month mark for speech and development and said he had global developmental delay but was hopeful that he will catch up with help. We have an NHS appt in just over a week where they will triage him with a paediatrician and a SALT. My feeling was that even if he is going to catch up, you don't know that now and it was better to get him in the system and get support in case he doesn't. Also, the referrals take time. We have been relatively lucky, its only taken 3 months to get an appointment. I know some areas are a lot worse.

It's great that your DS can communicate in other ways, that shows his understanding is there. We are a long way from that with DS who still doesn't point or communicate in other ways. We have been doing Sing and Sign (which is based on Makaton) for more than a year and DS has still not picked it up. However, his twin brother has and it has been very useful for him. Something Special on CBeebies is great. If your DS is getting frustrated because he can't communicate then signing will be a great help but as the OP have said, it might take a while for him to pick it up.

I hope you get some answers soon.

i took my ds at 2 and was the recommended age as waits for SALT lists can be long and early intervention is always the best way to go

if in few weeks or months speech comes along normal its easier to come off a list then get on it later

my ds has come along great with the help but wouldnt be where he is now if i didnt take him when i did

I have come across selective mutism. My mindee at home spoke lots of words but however, until she was 2 I heard only a few sounds and words. Just after 2yrs she spoke in 3 word sentences with everyone.
TBH although the speech is a little worrying, I would be far more concerned if he didn't understand or show some sense of humour/personality.
It could be a lazy/confidence thing.
You can try witholding things until he attempts to say it. i.e. he wants the ball, say what is it? Its a ? wait for him to say ball iyswim. If you understand his needs without him speaking then he may just not have any impetus to talk. You need to say ' I don't understand what you want, what do you want? Ball, juice, biscuit, food etc. Use your words, tell me. iyswim

just to put an extreme case forward one of my family didn't speak until he was 6, started school with a teaching assistant with him etc. - and is absolutely 100% fine, took GCSE's last year and is doing A levels now.
at the time he was taken to therapists etc.

my ds was dx with high functioning autism was very good with numbers letters etc could concentrate loads wasnt easily disturbed like calling his name etc

dont want to worry you at all though as can still be perfectly normal behaviour for children of that age but it is best seen to now

my ds is nearly 4 now and now speaks in full sentences is a very very bright loving little boy excels in numbers and letters but is only where he is from all the help given over the last 2 years

don't worry yourself too much as they all progress differently and with the right help and early intervention whatever the outcome its always best xx

Get him looked at. It won't hurt. But try not panick.

My gran didn't utter a word untill she was four. My sister didn't talk untill after two and she is the only person in our family with a degree.

I was told by a nuresry professional that there are two different areas of development. Speech and commumincation and knowledge and understanding.

So while my dd2 still only has about 15 words and has never even attempted sentences, she can put her own shoes on, she understands what you are saying to her, she knows that tap shoes and leotards are for dancing in and that if she grabs at your drink saying "mmamamamamamam" she will get a drink and she is almost potty trained.

My frinds two year old can talk in sentences and can communicate brilliantly, but doesn't know any of these things. She still cries of she needs something and they have to calm her down to get her to tell you what she wants she cannot dress herself and is not potty training.

So dd2 has knowledge and understanding of the world but lacks comminication and my friends baby is the other way around.

How are you today Blueberry?

It's great that you have referrals in place to be seen by salt and paediatrician. I'm sure they will be able to give you some ideas of how to help your ds.

Meanwhile, I would not go down the road of saying 'you can't have x until you say it'. This will not encourage him to learn to communicate but may make him very frustrated.

Giving him choices is an excellent idea and thinking of ways to give him the opportunity to communicate (rather than put him on the spot) rather than pre-empt what he wants. e.g. it's drinks time, he always has milk but you can still offer him ''milk or juice''.

Use short, simple sentences when you talk with him. This helps him to understand as well as to develop expressive language.

Hope the appointments are informative.

i was told with my ds to keep my sentences to him short to around 3 words

and to verbalize everything i was doing down to cooking sneezing lol everything

to give choice milk or juice even if pointing to the one oh [name] wants milk

blue or red cup [name wants red cup
your drinking your milk

it took alot of getting used to and often seemed crazy when out as seemingly talking to myself but within weeks his speech started picking up

within few months he was talking so much better

he had the understanding but to only 2 word demands as i was told if i said go get your shoes and put them on he was more than likely picking the words he knew shoes on so to make sure its all kept short

to be able to use words you have to know the words to the actions so it does help my ds did appear to have great understanding but obviously the more simple its kept the easier it is for them

i was also told not to say i don't understand you i was told to say mummy cant hear you sorry so that my ds didn't have negative affect on himself

having photos up also of things so if you cant understand he can go point to picture then you can verbalize the action

we had photos of food , toilet , anything we'd normally do use or want so ds could go point to picture and saved on the frustration

also i was encouraged to get him to say the word more and help so build a train track together and say you want more then hold the track and when attempts or says it then he'd get the track ds loved that it was rewarding to him id never let him get frustrated and introduced this daily until he was confident

also help if he cant do something you want help took a long while but ds got that in the end and would then for a drink say help more which was amazing lol

Yes, all good suggestions bubblagirl.

Playgroups and nursery also great as they have a routine and lots of modeling of simple language.

Make sure you introduce action words(e.g. run, jump) as well as naming words(e.g. juice, car, dog) once they start to talk. Having a repertoire of nouns and verbs (rather than just nouns) makes linking two words together more likely.

Although waiting lists are apparently better these days it took us a year to get DS2 seen by a SALT- and he was well known to be at high risk of a communication disorder - and I hassled people because of that.

You may as well get on a list.

I'd personally be more interested in imitation and ability to follow a point/point to things to show interest aged 2 than actual speech but I'd still get on a waiting list.

I would just like to add that my DSD didn't 'speak' - I mean she babbled and she made herself clear 'mama' 'dada' etc but not speaking.

Then, just after the age of 3, she spoke clearly in sentences.

Her first words were said(and I remember this clearly) walking into Pizza Express and saying: I'd Like Garlic bread, cheese pizza and ice cream please.

Queen's English.

If he's babbling, I wouldn't worry, if he's silent, then probably best have an opinion on that.... but I bet there are kids who were silent and then started speaking clearly.

Haribosmummy that is what my dd2 is like, she babbles constantly but has very few clear words.

She can make herself understood though, i.e if she needs the toilet she will hold her nappy and bounce up and down. If she wants food/drink she will find an empty bowl/cup and give it to you.