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Original poster

What age should I be concern if child doesn't speak?

79 replies

BlueberryPancake · 03/04/2009 13:46

My DS2 is turning 2 in a couple of weeks and he isn't saying anything. He doesn't say any words at all, and he can sometimes imitate some animal sounds (sometimes-rarely). I am starting to panic a bit - mostly because he had a hearing test earlier this week and his hearing is OK, but the specialist said that his speech 'delay' isn't due to his hearing, implying that it was due to something else.
First, it is the first time that someone actually tells me that my DS has a speech delay. Second, the implication that DS's speech delay was due to a cause (apart from the fact that some kids just speak later than others). The hearing specialist told me that Ds's behaviour doesn't appear to be normal for his age.

I saw the health visitor yesterday and she also gave me the impression that she thought something wasn't right with DS. She is refering me to a team of pediatric development specialists for a full assessment of his mental development.

To be honnest, I am surprised with all this fuss because to me, DS doesn't have a behaviour or development problem. He communicates in many ways, looks at people in the eyes, points, grunts, plays well with other kids, underrstand many many things that I tell him, loves his books, his toys, his brother. He is a very happy little chap and he loves running around like a normal 2 yo. He is cheeky sometimes, and he does have tentrums once in a while, but isn't that normal? He doesn't have any repetitive play (which I think is a sign of autism), he is sensitive to other people's feelings (he will be upset if his brother is upset, for example)...

I have been on a waiting list for an assessment with speech therapists and the appointment is next week, I am looking forward to seeing them but at the same time dreading it. I am scared that they will tell me that something is wrong.

Should I really panic at this stage? There are so many people who tell me that their kid didn't speak before the age of 2...

OP posts:
lingle · 07/04/2009 14:59

Aha, found you Starlight - you were on my "Is my son's musicality hindering his speech development?" thread. (To which, by the way, the answer turned out to be an absolutely resounding yes!).

The discussion you and cyberseraphim are having about the number of diagnoses "fitting" the number of placements available in pre-arranged programs (so maybe far too few DX in some areas and far too many in others) is at the absolute heart of this issue, I believe.

My DS2 is now well and truly in the (bloody) system and 9 months on I still have real doubts as to whether it has done anything whatsoever except get nursery to introduce a visual timetable.

However, I have absolutely no doubt whatsoever that DS2 would not be where he is today (coming on nicely - even potty training this week!) without the mumsnet special needs board - have you found your way to it yet?

StarlightMcKenzie · 07/04/2009 18:20

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cyberseraphim · 07/04/2009 19:25

'My DS WILL NOT stop singing, from the minute he gets up until bedtime'

Can you join in with him? If you sing a song and leave a gap for him to sing a word, will he join in with you ? Songs can be a great way to get the to and fro of communication going..

StarlightMcEggzie · 07/04/2009 19:38

Yes actually, - we do that a lot. He approximates words and sometimes he realises what he is singing i.e

'Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake - cake CAKE CAKE'

Which is quite funny.

We have had two amazing moments today.

This morning he came over to me for a hug. He has NEVER ever done that before. If he is upset and I go over to him he will sometimes cling on, but never initiate.

The second thing I did was hand him his yoghurt without a spoon. He sat for a few minutes in front of it waiting and then looked directly at me and said 'Poon'! It made me a bit teary.

Have to try that trick a bit more.

lingle · 07/04/2009 20:18

Starlight, I used to describe myself jokingly as "in cheerful denial" on the special needs board - now I just use the term "sceptical" as it seems an eminently reasonable approach with respect to the "where is the borderline with normality?" issue. No-one in special needs has a problem with that (or if they do they are very polite). Special needs is very friendly and people whose children have more severe needs are very generous with their expertise to people with kids with mild issues.

Would love to hear more about his singing and its relationship with his talking as I've had two "singers" now (DS1 and DS2 both sang tunefully and continuously long before they talked). DS2 has about 700 active words that he combines easily now but I still have to ration music even now at 3.7.

StarlightMcEggzie · 08/04/2009 10:15

lingle Thank you. I think I was also worried about going on and worrying that DS can't use 2 words together, when other peoples los could only wish that was the extent of their problems.

Also, the DLA form has just come through and I think I'd feel like a fraud filling it in. The CDC said I must because my life is hard, but I personally don't think it is harder than only one else with 2 children under 2.4 months. In some ways it is easier because DS is very predictable. (i.e he runs off, but I will always know exactly where to)

cyberseraphim · 08/04/2009 10:25

It is early days - I think you said you have no written report yet that actually explains in professional language what they think the developmental issues are. Do you have a formal dx ? The DLA form is very hard to fill in - it's actually best to get someone else to sit with you while you do it. I too was encouraged to 'play up' his problems for the form because that is what you have to do. However now having an NT child, I do see that yes although DS1's problems were not severe by ASD standards, we did have to deal with all sorts of issues that we have never had with DS2. Also we have to pay for a lot of speech therapy privately so although DLA is just a drop in the ocean, it's better than nothing.

I get the feeling all of this is too new and overwhelming so don't feel you have to rush into anything until you feel ready. You are right that all 2.4 year olds are hard work - I have one now but it's a different kind of hard work.

TotalChaos · 08/04/2009 10:33

starlight - SN is a nice supportive board, with a mixed bag of posters and issues they are facing (but probably predominantly mums to kids on the spectrum and/or with language delay) - but if you don't feel up to posting there, if you post any specific questions about language/language delay on behav/development you should find that they get found by SN board regulars sooner or later.

lingle · 08/04/2009 12:32

starlight- no I don't think you need to worry about that re the SN board. Everyone is very aware of the varying levels of severity of needs.

Original poster
BlueberryPancake · 08/04/2009 17:26

Hi everyone! I didn't realise that this thread was still going, and got very interesting! Anyway, an update - we saw speech therapists this morning in a group situatuation and DS was really good, playing well, interacting well with therapists and with other kids, lots of imaginative play, and they basically are concerned about his hearing (again) more than his speech as such and dthey don't think he's got a communication problem. He has had a hearing test, but although he has liquid behind his eardrums the audiologist sayd that he doesn't have any significant hearing loss. The speech therapist will push for second opinion on that.

Anyway, we've got lots of things to do at home, to encourage his speech and I hope it will all develop well over the coming weeks/months and if not, we are in the 'system' and will not have to wait ages for appointments.

Thanks everyone!

OP posts:
justaboutback · 08/04/2009 20:54

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Original poster
BlueberryPancake · 08/04/2009 21:08

No, it was last week. He had a hearing test that showed that he has some liquid behind ear drums, but with 'no significant hearing loss'. However, the tests were inconclusive because DS was not responding well to the tests. He can be pretty stuburn and he wasn't turning his head even if he could hear the sounds (they were very loud). Hence the audiologist concluding that his 'speech delay is not due to a hearing loss, but rather to a different cause' (in his notes). He is the one who raised some questions about DS' development in general and his 'lack of communications'.

However, when the speech therapists saw the notes about DS' hearing, they recommended that we get a second opinion. According to the notes, some of the ranges of his hearing are not as good as they should be - I hope I'm making sense here. So I am seeing my GP to get him refered to a specialist ear nose and throat unit.

I think basically that the audiologist assumed that DS had communications problems because he was really quite irritated by the tests, he just wanted to get out of the room, he hated the bloke, was crying, didn't want to make eye contact, was basically furious. So the bloke assumed that DS had communications peoblems rather than look deeper the possibility that the hearing problem is causing his lack of speech.
I am pretty furious about the whole thing, especially when the speech therapist explained to me that DS had hearing loss (according to the notes from audiologist) but he didn't think that that was causing his speech delay. Balls, if you ask me. DS is fine, his comms are good for child his age, yes he has some odd behavious but all could be explained if he has hearing loss....

OP posts:
justaboutback · 08/04/2009 21:10

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Original poster
BlueberryPancake · 08/04/2009 21:25

The audiologist implied that DS had developmental and communication problems. Today, when we went to the assessment with speech therapists, he was absolutely fine, reaching every single milestone in terms of play, non-verbal communications. So either he has a hearing loss, or he might have a speech delay due to a dissorder. Or he might be just one of these kids who learn to speak later.

The therapists gae us loads of tips today, such as stop asking DS questions all the time, just say the words in very very simple sentences. He might respond by imitating the words, and questioning him all the time might make him feel too self conscious. So instead of saying for example 'are you thirsty would you like juice or milk?' we have to say 'juice or milk' and work on a number of key words. Narate what we do, instead of asking him 'where's the dog' say 'look, dog!'

Specialists can get it wrong, sometimes, and you are entitled to follow your gut feeling and ask for a second opinion.

OP posts:
justaboutback · 08/04/2009 21:30

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Original poster
BlueberryPancake · 09/04/2009 07:11

Does anyone here knows where to get a private hearing test in/around London (East End)? I am thinking of taking the plunge. we can't really afford it but my in laws would pay for private test.

OP posts:
lisad123 · 09/04/2009 07:23

www.ramsayhealth.co.uk/treatments_info/a_to_z_of_treatments/a/audiology.aspx?menupage=7

cyberseraphim · 09/04/2009 07:57

That's good to hear Blueberry - and proves the point that assessments don't have to be scary - it seems that you've got some re assurance that other developmental factors are fine.

lingle · 09/04/2009 12:55

"DS had communications problems because he was really quite irritated by the tests"

Much sympathy. Irritated doesn't even begin to convey what I feel about our audiology test which involved the audiologist giving complex sequential instructions to a child with suspected receptive language delay and then getting irritable when he didn't comply - he was also terrified by a luminescent turtle that flashed up without warning accompanied by a startlingly loud noise.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I'm still dealing with the fallout in terms of fear of medical appointments. And now of course his behaviour at medical appointments is the main reason they think he may have other causes for his language delay. And so we go on.

It's almost funny. But not.

StarlightMcEggzie · 09/04/2009 13:25

Ooooh, that all rings true. The CDC appeared irritated at DS's uncooperativeness, - but then, he still has afternoon naps and they sheduled his intense assessment for 2-4pm!

How could they expect him to do more than lie down facing the wall with his thumb in his mouth? He was avoiding social interaction all right. He wanted to go to bed.

sc13 · 09/04/2009 14:41

Anybody can have a bad day, but the notion of professionals whose profession consists in working with children, getting irritated/irritable when those children behave like children, just makes me . And also worried - DS's upcoming appointment also scheduled 2-4. Thumb in mouth an inevitability...

lingle · 09/04/2009 16:46

I know, I know.

When it comes to behavioural norms, I think a good nursery manager is arguably in the best position to do the observations.

Imagine what Gina Ford would have thought of interrupting naptime!

cyberseraphim · 09/04/2009 17:21

I don't think one assessment is ever enough to dx ASD and allowances have to be made for 'one off' behaviour - but it can happen the other way. DS1 went to numerous appointments displaying obviously autistic behaviour and it still took forever to get a formal dx !

StarlightMcEggzie · 09/04/2009 17:33

My DS flapped a lot, which was great, - but I'm quite certain HIS 'flapping' isn't caused by autism.

Just like I know that the reason he never 'pretends' hoover or sweep up is because he has never in his life seen anyone do it.

lingle · 09/04/2009 18:46

chortle at
"Just like I know that the reason he never 'pretends' hoover or sweep up is because he has never in his life seen anyone do it. "

snap.

(he has now, I hasten to add. And does.).