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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

The dreaded hair wash.........help!

28 replies

Confuzzeled · 21/03/2009 07:24

My dd was a water birth and for the first 6 months she loved water all over her head and face. Then all of a sudden she hated it.

Now she's 2yo and the fear of hair washing is getting to the point where she'll hurt herself to avoid it. I only do it twice a week so it's not like we have a screaming fit every night.

I have tried, one of those head band things to stop the water going in her eyes but she hates it and pulls it off. I've got in the bath with her and washed my hair at the same time. She didn't mind the shower at first but soon hated that too even when I'm in it with her.

I make bath time really fun and she loves getting in, but as soon as the water touches her head she'll start clawing at her face, I'm scared she'll scratch her eyes.

The thing is, it really needs washed more as she won't take any food from me, she has to feed herself and it regularly ends up in her hair.

Help.....

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

seeker · 21/03/2009 07:30

Doesn't really need washing at this age, IMHO! Just wipe it over with a damp flannel after meal times (!) - she'll get over it in the end.

Or have you tried doing it with a jug or a cup? Some children can manage that when they can't handle the shower.

bloss · 21/03/2009 07:33

Message withdrawn

keels26 · 21/03/2009 08:37

How about letting her put a flannel over her eyes to stop water getting in them?If shes holding it herself then at least she will feel like its in her control to stop the water getting in. Think its the not knowing if your going to get a load of soapy water in your eyes that makes them panic. You could to the big build up, your special flannel to stop the water hurting your eyes etc. Good luck.

Original poster

Confuzzeled · 21/03/2009 11:35

Thanks.

I do give it a wipe after meals but it really gets manky after a few days, I would leave it longer if I could.

I tried a cup and a little watering can she liked but it's the water touching her head that makes her go crazy.

She does love going swimming, we go once every couple of weeks but the shower after is only tolerated if there's no hair washing.

I'll try her with a flannel, not done that one yet.

OP posts:

Janos · 21/03/2009 13:11

My DS (4) really hates having his hair washed. too. Lots of wee ones seem to hates this for some reason..seem to recall disliking it myself.

I let him put a towel to his face then damp his hair and pour a jug of warm water over his head to rinse. He allows this - might be worth a try?

bubblagirl · 21/03/2009 13:15

i have to sponge my ds hair let him lay back on me with towel round his neck i can put shampoo on sponge rub over his head and then rinse the same way no huge piles of water spilling anywhere then put towel straight on to dry it off the only way i can ever get his hair washed

smee · 21/03/2009 15:07

I'm with Seeker, don't bother. I used to just wet a brush/ comb with the bath water and pull it v.gently through his hair as he was in there. Gets it clean enough..

legalalien · 22/03/2009 19:36

I am a veteran of this (thank god we've now moved on). Goggles, visor, and bribery with smarties. for a year!

MIAonline · 22/03/2009 19:52

My DS was like this for a short while, he became happier when he learnt to lay back and rest his head in the water rather than it getting on his face. If her language is good you could try explaining it to her when you are at the swimming pool and she is on her back and show her how the water doesn't get on her face if she lays flat and you can wash her hair this way.

bodiddly · 22/03/2009 19:53

my ds was like this for a long time .. in the end we got there but it was a really gradual process. We started off by wiping his hair with a slightly damp flannel and then gradually got it wetter and wetter until he got used to the idea. We were careful not to get any water over his face. From there we managed to persuade him to hold a flannel over his face and have the visor on .. he still has both of these but is now fine about having it washed. Distraction was a major part of the initial hair dampening thing!

outnumbered2to1 · 22/03/2009 21:42

my DS1 absolutely screamed blue bloody murder if you went anywhere near his head with water. Took a while to get him to the stage wherehe didn't scream the place down when a little bit splashed on his face. eventually got him involved in the whole process by letting him pour the water out of the jug onto his head and then leting him rub the shampoo in by himself. it didn't happen overnight but we did get there eventually. Hang in there. i think its just a stage they go through

applepudding · 22/03/2009 21:52

nightmare! I eventually taught DS that if he lay back in the water and tilted his chin up that the water wouldn't get in his eyes - but I still had to put the shampoo on a flannel and wash and rinse the hair with the flannel as he wouldn't have water poured over him.

I have done this up until about 4 weeks ago and he is now 7. What happened 4 weeks ago was that he suddenly decided his liked showers!!!! And he now washes his own hair - but he still has to have the shampoo on a flannel so it doesn't go in his eyes!

BibiThree · 22/03/2009 22:09

Mine was a little more harsh than the kind tips above... dd was desperate to have long hair like her cousin, so the deal was, if she let me wash it and keep it neat, we wold let it grow. Everttime she kicked off I told her if she didn't keep it clean she'd have to have hair like Daddy.

She still screamed but it was a little more manageable. She's 4 now and will still do anything to get out of it.

glucose · 22/03/2009 22:16

DD (4) is terrible with hair washing.
She screams the place down and leaps out of the bath. We get by with once a week, usually at the swimming pool shower if big girls are washing their hair she will. She has a very simple short hair cut. It rarely gets brushed. She still gets nits though.

usernametaken · 23/03/2009 09:10

DD lies on her tummy in the bath now for a hairwash. She pushes up on her arms and puts her head back, that way I can keep the water off her face (providing she doesn't move). She sits up for shampoo and conditioner, then goes back on her tummy for it to be rinsed off. Nothing in her eyes as of yet!

nappyaddict · 26/03/2009 16:59

Have you tried dribbling water onto her head using a flannel?

Or getting her to lie back in the bath to rinse it off?

BonsoirAnna · 26/03/2009 17:02

At two, my daughter's hair badly needed a daily wash - it was long and thick and she regularly wiped her sticky fingers in it!

I'm afraid I am mean mummy in the bath and washing happens however great the protests!

Geepers · 26/03/2009 17:09

We have the hair washing battle too, although it doesn't sound as extreme as the OPs.

I usually try to bath with my daughter and sit her between my legs for hair washing encouraging her to look up at the spiders on the ceiling.

snice · 26/03/2009 17:11

Have you tried swimming goggles? Worked with mine.

moodymoose77 · 23/04/2009 08:05

Hi,
I have babysat many kids who were intitially terrified of having their hair washed. When a child is that scared it takes some new methods to get them comfortable with it. I use the same methods and they have always worked for me. I use bathpuppets, I make animal soap ears, and I let the kids make wolfcalls looking up to keep the water and shampoo out of their eyes. I of course use kids shampoo that doesn't sting kids eyes. Now here are the methods that have always worked for me.

I start off talking with the kid(s) about the fun we will have when they take their bath. I usually do this during dinner time or well before bathtime. I show them the bathpuppets and tell them we will be making animal ears and ask them what kind they want. I tell them how I will rinse their hair (by having them look up and make wolf calls)I show them how this will keep all the water and soap out of their face. I reassure the child/children about anything they're scared of. One little girl said she was afraid of going under the water so I reassured her I would not put her under any water or let any go over her face.
When it is bathtime I bring the puppets out and get the child excited about playing with them. I reassure them as needed if they are scared and take my time with them. I use my puppet to slowly wet their hair. Then the puppet gently scrubs their hair as they play with their toys. Then I ask them what kind of animal they want to be, make them some very creative ears and show them how they look in a unbreakable mirror. I remind them of how to do a wolf call and demonstrate. I then rinse their hair with the puppet carefully making sure nothing gets in their eyes. I haven't had any children cry in my thirty plus years as a babysitter. I understand how kids feel about is fear because I had it as a kid too. Let me know how it goes. Oh and pick a day when you are not in a hurry and can take your time. Take Care

mumsobusy · 23/04/2009 08:23

My ds hates hair wash and is recently getting over it I let him play for awhile and the start pouring water on him bit by bit and slowly work to the top and then pour very little water on head and after awhile he accepts even though he still does not like it its more bearable

LincolnsMummy · 23/04/2009 11:14

We are having excatly the same problem at our house! Seriously Lincoln loves the bath but as soon as you mention 'hair' he gets all worked up and when you actually do it he screams like nothing i know! I can't do it because it upsets me so I just call Mitchell upstairs and he just does it with him screaming but gives him a hug afterwards and al forgotten about in 10 minutes!

NellyTheElephant · 23/04/2009 11:55

DD2 (just over two) HATES hairwashing. DD1 (just over 4) also hates it but will tolerate it as she is quite vain about her pretty hair and so can be persuaded to cooperate!! So - DD2, firstly I only do it max once a week (a damp cloth usually does the trick for removing food etc at other times!). She understands the command to look up at the ceiling when I rinse so water runs off the back of her head rather than into her eyes and I aid this by holding her chin up. I always give her her sponge well squeezed out to hold over her eyes. I also let her join in with the actual washing bit - she likes rubbing shampoo in her hair, it's the rinsing she hates. She also likes washing the 'hair' of her rubber ducks / fish etc, so I distract her as much as possible by letting her have shampoo to do that. In the end we generally have screaming though. I just try and do it as quickly as possible, then wipe off her face, quick kiss and jolly her along..... SHe's always over it v quickly as long as I don't make too much of a fuss about it. Not sure what else to suggest really.

CaptainKarvol · 23/04/2009 12:07

We're on the damp flannels method here. DS still screams the place down, says 'not washing my hair' every night (it gets done once every 2 weeks...) and, when it is done, screams 'cut it all off' and tries to grab DH's clippers rather than have us dry it

Not fun, is it?

bubble2bubble · 23/04/2009 15:38

This worrked for us: www.jojomamanbebe.co.uk/detailfash.php?type=FASH&code=B3062&proddesc=Shampoo+Rinse+Cup&superc ategory=BRN00042&branch=&wcategory=CAT00275&catdesc=&super=0030BRN00042~0010BRN00052~0050CAT00275&tr eecode=TRE00009

Really does seem to keep the water out of the eyes, if that is the problem

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