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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Would you know what I meant by a 'quaint' child?

81 replies

OrmIrian · 10/03/2009 13:30

I told DH that I thought DS#2 was that. And that you could tell he was a child of older parents. DH took exception to this but I don't think it's a bad thing.

DS is quite an earnest child, he talks about things in great detail and isn't easily distracted. Don't misunderstand me, he laughs a lot and is a happy little soul, but he does tend to go deeply into things. He doesn't have lots of friends although all the children at school like him, but he gets a bit mithered by big noisy games with lots of people and much prefers to have one best friends than a host of them. He is quite young in his interests - fascinated by animals and dinosaurs, even though at 6 many of his peers have moved on to TV programme characters such as Ben 10 and Spiderman. Some of the children tell him that is babyish. He likes his own company and can keep himself entertained for hours with a few model animals and imagination.

That's what I mean by 'quaint'. What would you call it?

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screamingabdab · 11/03/2009 18:25

camembert I would say in the last year or so, he looks more like a young man, hands in pockets, sort of saunters, has more control over his limbs (he used to have a very strange run!). He has also got louder (very loud voice at the moment!), and likes wrestling.

He has always been quite literal and without guile - he is incapable of lying, but that also made him not "get" jokes, or be able to tell them! We have had to actually explain what makes something funny. He is really starting to get that now.

Babbity · 11/03/2009 18:34

My DS1 is the same (and so is my DH; they're very similar). Intense, quiet, overwhelmed by the "noisy children", happy to watch from the sidelines and join in only when he's totally 100% happy, and quite babyish in his interests. Also really into the human body and "science" in all its guises (was talking to me about bone marrow being the soft squidgy living bit in the middle of bone the other day, GOK where he got that from). He's great company though, and though shy children tend to like him when they get to know him though that can take a while.

Original poster

OrmIrian · 12/03/2009 10:46

Dh has been told by DS not to speak to his teacher, because he won't get his friends into trouble. He was quite adamant. And now he's talking about them all 'playing nicely' just to convince us it's OK

OP posts:

Phoenix4725 · 14/03/2009 03:56

my ds is nearly 15 and have to say hes very gentle soul even now, very good with his younger siblins his sisters 5 and his brothers 3 with sn and he gets on with with his 12 year old brother now, he rather stay home than hang out on streets , he did suffer some mickey teasing but since hes now over 6 foot that stopped,

And people are always saying what a well mannered , mature and likeable youg man he is

nooka · 14/03/2009 04:27

Some of the traits are just introversion. If you had a girl you probably wouldn't notice them so much as somehow they are more expected in girls whilst boys are expected to rush about and not be in touch with their feelings. My ds is a mix of both, intense and geeky, but also silly and thoughtless. dd is very extrovert, but also helpful and keen to please. It's nice to have a mix! My two can play very strongly into the girl/boy stereotypes but I wonder at times how much of that is social pressure.

camembertandcranberry · 14/03/2009 17:12

An example of the way people expect boys to be and can't cope with the gentler/ quaint/ less boisterous type - my grandma just told me my dad has said we need to start toughening ds - "having boxing matches with him or something".

poshsinglemum · 14/03/2009 18:58

I think that so called quaint children are adorable! I hope that my dd is going to be quaint!

treedelivery · 14/03/2009 19:00

Op - very very very like my dd1. also called an 'old soul' by some.

BeehiveBaby · 14/03/2009 19:03

My DD is definitely quaint . But I sometimes worry about her being a bit unaware IYKWIM? I just wonder why she doesn't know that she isn't meant to like the TellyTubbies any more for example.

Your DS sounds lovely company.

camembertandcranberry · 14/03/2009 19:46

From your experience, those of you with older quaint ones , do you think it is either possible or desirable to try and toughen them up a bit.

What my gran said has brought home to me that ds starts school in September and he is such a softie he might get teased. At the moment if another kid say takes a toy from him he'd probably just walk off and leave them to it.....

treedelivery · 14/03/2009 19:49

I have the exact same worry. My dd just can.t understand why someone would be grumpy with her and takes it 100% to heart. She'll get eaten alive at school. She is also quite controlling and I think she'll suffer in that way too. She can't shrug things off and go play.

Worry worry!!

Original poster

OrmIrian · 14/03/2009 19:56

I wouldn't worry too much. Most of the children seem to like DS. They treat him vey gently, like a younger child a bit, but they all seem to like being with him. The only problem is that his best friend has turned into a bit of a thug recently, just a phase I'm sure, and DS isn't.

OP posts:

treedelivery · 14/03/2009 20:02

Yours sounds far more relaxed than mine. And his friends sound lovely! Mine is a fussy boots who tries to boss everyone around and can't understand it when they walk off. She's heartbroken as she really believes her plan was in theit best interests. Bless her, far too much time around adults. Ah well, school will be the thing I suppose.

screamingabdab · 14/03/2009 20:19

camembert

School is not that bad IME. I know that with your first you think that school seems like the big bad world, bullying at every turn, but it's honestly not! If he gets teased, the school needs to deal with that. If he gets toys taken off him (and it bothers him), likewise. I would discuss with him alternative ways to deal with his problems. Be on hand to be a sounding board, but also be aware he needs to find his own way to deal with things as well (with your support).

Sorry this is a bit woolly

camembertandcranberry · 16/03/2009 19:31

That's reassuring! I guess I remember the boys who didn't quite fit in and seemed grown-up before their time got teased at my school.

Original poster

OrmIrian · 19/03/2009 20:58

Well DS#2 went on a school trip today to a mini-zoo/adventure playground place. Had a fantastic time. Was given a special sticker by the woman who showed them round for being the only child that looked properly at all the animals.

I bet he did For hours and hours and hours until everyone else was looking at their watches, rolling their eyes and sighing loudly....

OP posts:

hester · 19/03/2009 21:05

I'm enjoying this thread - I've got a quaint dd (3). Someone once said that she talks like a 1954 newsreader. I'm dreading school, but maybe she'll find another quaint child to pal up with and discuss gondolas and volcanoes...

PuppyMonkey · 19/03/2009 21:08

My mum always calls my girls "old fashioned wee things." Which I like.

Horton · 19/03/2009 21:18

I also have a quaint little DD of two and a half and I love her funny little ways. She talks like she is answering comprehension questions at school. I say 'Would you like some grapes, DD?' and she says 'No thank you, mummy. I would perhaps like some grapes another time. Thank you'. Little nut. She does find group situations v hard, though. Generally stands and stares at all the rushing about toddlers in utter incomprehension. Does this get easier for them with age? I seem to remember feeling the same myself and didn't really find my feet at school until I was at secondary level.

SoMuchToBits · 19/03/2009 21:18

lol Orm, he sounds just like my 8 yr old ds. He has always been a "little old man" from when he was tiny. Most other 8 year olds are into football/Pokemon/Nintendo ds etc, but he is into cricket, lifeboats (in obsessive detail!) and aeroplanes.

Most other 8 year old children watch things like Basil Brush/Power Rangers. Ds watches.... the test match, and Air Crash Investigation on national Geographic Channel. He is also not into rough and tumble and lots of noise. Fortunately he has a small group of good friends, and one of them is a bit similar to him. But he is defintiley not a "fitter-inner", and talks like an adult sometimes. He is lovely though, and I get the feeling that most of the other kids don't actively dislike him, they just think he is a bit odd, whereas he easily makes friends with adults.

SoMuchToBits · 19/03/2009 21:19

Oh, and ds's teacher when he was in year 1 said that when he stood up to do "show and tell" he was like "A little professor" lol!

camembertandcranberry · 19/03/2009 21:49

Horton - it does get easier ime - for a start the other kids get slightly more sensible and more predictable and also I think our quaint types get a bit more confident.

Hmmm are almost all of our quaintees only children I wonder? Ds is and I think a lot of it is down to that.

He is so funny. Definitely a little old man type too.

He keeps me in tow - even down to reminding me that I need to wash his bedding as I haven't done it for a while

He's only 3.9 but sometimes I swear he's more like my dad than I am his mum

SoMuchToBits · 19/03/2009 21:57

Mine is an only child, but I know that Orm has three, so hers isn't (and don't think he is the oldest either).

screamingabdab · 19/03/2009 22:22

camembert Just come back to this thread. My geeky one is DS1. I also have another DS who is nearly 6. He is much more of a "textbook" boy - more boisterous, loves to be part of a group, sporty, cheeky and funny. Does not like to be on his own much.
The two of them are so different, and we've had ructions along the way! I think it has been good for DS1 to have a younger brother, though, and they are becoming real pals (they are both gorgeous as well)

I think it's been interesting to have 2 boys who are so different. It kind of pisses me off when people make sweeping statements about what boys are like (and, i detect a distinct "downer" on boys in our society at the moment).

screamingabdab · 19/03/2009 22:26

SomuchToBits What you said about show and tell

I think DS1s teacher really appreciates his interest (obsession) in things. She said his presentation on jellyfish was the best show and tell she'd had , and she loves that his Hero is David Attenborough!

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