How can I get my 2yr old to eat?!

[chickenmama]

My dd (2.9) is a terribly fussy eater. Her diet consists mainly of cheese or chocolate spread sandwiches, yogurt, cheese, bananas and fruit & oat bars (like the organix ones). She likes pizza and would probably eat this a lot, but I only give to her one a week or so.

She will happily eat crisps, biscuits, chocolate, ice cream, sweets of any sort but I limit these as much as I can.

She sometimes eats chips, plain pasta, garlic bread, fried plantain, roasted sweet potato, porridge, raw carrot, cherry tomatoes, grapes and strawberries... but very often she refuses these.

She didn't really start eating foods until she was 13 months, and was almost entirely breastfed up to that point. She had a skin allergy to dairy products until she was just over 2 yrs old.

I'm not sure if I've done something to cause her to eat this way, or if she's just really fussy, but I'd love to be able to encourage her to eat more. I offer her food to try from my plate but she always refuses. It felt like a big achievement recently when she put a pea in her mouth - she will occasionally lick or bite new foods but it takes so much effort and she will always spit them out. She has never eaten a cooked meal and does not eat any meat or vegetables.

If anyone has had to deal with the same sort of thing and has any tips I'd be really grateful. I'm not stressing about it just yet, but it would be nice to have her eating a bit more 'normally'

I had a mindee who refused all fruit/veg/meat bar a few things such as banana, bread, cheese, yoghurt.
I chose the hard line of 'if you are hungry you will eat it' but no pudding or anything else until the next snack or meal.
Every snack was fruit and if that was eaten then a biscuit or treat. Same with lunch eat a fair amount (I do too large portions) and you get dessert, if you don't then nothing until snack time, fruit again. After 3mths she ate anything and everything with her mums co-operation in not resulting to giving yoghurts after the evening meal wasn't eaten.
By anything I include blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, melon, pears, peaches,apples, strawberries, carrots, peas, sweetcorn, cauliflower, brocolli, potatoes, moussaka! Any pasta.

Don't feed any crap. Don't give in when they say I'm hungry- 'you should have eaten your snack/lunch/dinner then'. When they say they don't want it say 'thats fine but there is nothing until whatever the next food time is', then it is their choice.
Remember that children of that age will not starve themselves and will eat when hungry.

My ds (also 2.9)eats just about the same things on your 'main' and 'sometimes' eats list(except the chocolate spread and nothing else (he will eat raw carrots when I am preparing them but never touches them once cooked and on his plate).
He will happily starve if I don't give him anything in between.
I'm afraid I have no answers just sympathy. I have taken to giving him vitamins now to make it up.

DS has a very limited range too. I chose not to go down the "eat it or there is nothing else route" and we work within his limits. Actually the foods listed are quite varied enough(much more so then many kids get). There seems to be a huge pressure to get your toddler to eat various things but an awful lot of them just seem to want a lot of repetiion of rather plain food. As far as I know there is no nutritional need for a vast array of different foods (other than the different food groups, diff fruit and veg etc). I'm not pressuring DS, I will continue to offer him 'normal' food and I hope that oneday he will eat it!

Continue to offer a little of what your dc likes together with something new/not liked at each mealtime.

Try to make sure that there is something that they will eat so you can praise and say 'well done, you ate/tried/licked x'.

If they refuse something, do not make a big deal of it. Just remove it. It's up to you to decide whether to keep it to give later if they say they are hungry (probably depends what it is).

Evidence does suggest that children become more suspicious of food after 12 months. Hence the encouragement to introduce a wide range of tastes and textures before a year old.

Other things that work with my two dcs are to leave things 'laying around' or to eat something myself (not offering to them of course!). They will often eat grapes if just in a bowl on the table.

My 3 year old is now much more willing to try new things- even a taste of it is good imho. Lunch/tea dates help with this too, esepcially with children who are good eaters.

citronella - funny about the carrots, my dd is just the same! She absolutely refuses cooked ones even tho she'll happily grab a raw one.

I do try to give her a balanced diet from the foods she will eat, and I couldn't do the 'eat it or nothing else' either - she really seems like she can't eat other foods, and she gets very upset, clingy, hard to deal with when she's hungry. And she wouldn't sleep if she was hungry, and I need my sleep!

When it comes to offering foods, I'll give her a choice - a banana or an oaty bar for example, so she makes the decision and is eating something healthy. I am finding tho that she's going through phases, and will want cream cheese sandwiches (on wholemeal bread btw) for a couple of weeks, and then stop eating them, which means I have to find something else she'll eat that will actually fill her up.

I think the thing I'm most worried about is the fact she only gets carbs and fruit - no veg or meat/pulses... and I worry if she's getting the right nutrients (eg iron). She still has one bf a day, so I hope that's providing her with some goodness, but when that stops I think I'll definitely need to look into vitamin suppliments.

Glad to hear she's not the only one and I'm sure they'll all grow out of it one day... just hope that day comes sooner rather than later!

oh thanks for that DHT, very reassuring as it's pretty much what I do with dd.

The bit about 12 months makes sense - she didn't really want to eat, and I found it difficult as so much stuff had milk in it, so I didn't force the issue... I wonder if that has contributed to the problem at all. Also going from puree to slightly lumpy seemed to put her off and I really wish I'd gone straight to 'adult' type foods as she was happier with finger foods when she was small. Oh well, I'll know if there's ever a next time

Will she eat other raw veg? I hated cooked veg as a child, but ate stacks before dinner as mum was washing it - cauliflower, for example still tastes much nicer to me raw than cooked, ditto carrots.

can you hide veggies in a tomato sauce for the pizza (and pasta?)? We do this a lot

crumpet - I've been meaning to do that! make my own pizzas and use ratatouille (pureed) as the sauce.. and maybe some tiny pieces of chicken in with the cheese... really should get on to it, its probably the only way i'll get veggies into her. She won't eat anything on her pasta - I've tried sauces and just grated cheese but no good. Strange cos she loves cheese but on pasta was a big no!

If you don't want to go down the hardline route and want to hide veg, a good way if she will eat tomato soup is to boil down carrots, brocolli, cauliflower and a stock cube until really soft. Blend it and add to tomato soup with some cheese and give toast fingers to dip in it Or tinned tomatoes and blended veg with pasta/pizza as someone else said. Try blending fruit and adding to yoghurt in a bowl instead of eating out of the pot. Do casseroles all day on low and fish out/blend some meat and add to gravy over mash.
sorry, I hadn't realised she eats quite a bit of fruit, her diet isn't actually that bad if she does eat it.
We found saying things like 'are the peas going to a party with x (something she likes) in your tummy, or are you going to put the sweetcorn in to keep your pizza company! Just being silly sometimes helps, or saying you will steal it! Or don't eat that because I will want it- turn away and wait, usually my dd had eaten hers by then off the preloaded fork. I found laziness and wanting to get down to play games a big factor in her not eating at meals. Making a game quels the boredom.

The trouble with my darling girl is she doesn't do anything with sauce - I took her shopping and let her choose some tins of pasta shapes in tomato sauce thinking that the characters would win over the fussiness - she was so excited to have it for lunch but had one lick and just wouldn't eat any more

Tonight I tried to get her to at least taste some of what I was eating - I put some tiny pieces of sausage, potato and veggies on her plate and asked her to try. I tried everything but she could hardly even look at it. She totally freaks out if she thinks I'm going to make her eat. In the end I asked her to pick something up to feed me, and she finally gave me a piece of sausage but then got all upset cos it was on her fingers and wouldn't touch any more.

I don't want to label this as it might just be extreme fussy toddler but I can't help wondering if there's a bit of a food phobia going on here...

Thanks for all the ideas tho I think I'm going to give the soup a go as she likes toast and might eat it if I make it a game and she's in control of the dipping. Worth a try anyway

I know for myself that the more crisps / chocolate etc I have the more i want - can i suggets that you just don't buy them and stock up on fresh fruit and stuff for meals and then you can't waver...her taste buds will start to adjust after a couple of weeks...

I don't feed her junk and rarely buy crisps, chocolates etc. I said she'd happily eat them... it doesn't mean I give them to her! The only unhealthy thing she had today was a couple of animal biscuits given to her by a child I mind. My problem is not getting her to eat healthily but getting her to eat a more varied diet.

I agree whole heartedly with you T&G If her choices don't involve the food she normally has she has to make the best of it. Obviously if the choice is between chocolate spread and ham who would choose ham. No child in the western world has starved itself to death and I have to point out there are no fussy eaters in the developing world They have no choice and eat what they can. It is us who create eating habits and its up to us to take choice away to improve these habits.

What happens if she doesn't eat what she is given for dinner and says she is hungry soon after?

"No child in the western world has starved itself to death" - not true, Dilly, sadly.

My DS (2 1/2) is a dreadfully fussy eater. I weaned him the same way as my DD who will happily eat anything but the only things he will eat is Ready Brek Raisins Yoghurt and Rusks
He will try grapes and apple and peas but always spits them out.
He on occasion (about 1 - 2 times a week) will eat his dinner as long as it is totally pureed.
This is his one diet saving grace really - I offer him meals the same as us all the time and try not to make an issue of it.
Hope this at least gives you some comfort as to how much you DC does eat!
I just look at it that I only know a couple of teenagers who won't tuck into their food!
Interestingly DS was on a wheat and dairy free diet due to severe colic when I was weaning him from about 8 - 15 months - I wonder if there is a connection?

I guess that's the trouble, she doesn't get 'dinner' - she just gets one of the things I know she'll eat. I gave up trying to get her to eat a proper meal a while back as she always refused and it was just a waste of food.

And just to prove you wrong, she will almost always choose a cream cheese sandwich over a chocolate one :P

If she gets something else then there is no incentive for her to eat her meals because she knows she gets an alternative.
My method is give breakfast of her choice of healthy options.
Give fruit snack and biscuit (plain) if she eats it. Give different fruits each day/snack.
Lunch choice of healthy options but with small amount of tomato/cucumber/grated carrot. Everything must be tried before dessert or treats.
afternoon snack as morning snack.
Dinner same routine as lunch but no choice, same as the rest of the family, again if not everything is tried then no dessert.
No giving in if hungry 30 mins later and definately nothing else before bed. I guarantee that after 1wk she will have improved. Eat at allocated times or don't eat. If she leaves her meal don't make a fuss, just say your choice but there is nothing else so you will be hungry.
Personally I would not give in, even if there is tantrums in the night about being hungry. I would then give a cereal that isn't usual to get the ball rolling. If she is hungry she will eat.

only have food in the house that you are happy for her to eat - though that takes more organisation than i personally have!

have mates round who eat more variety - saw mate today who gave her dd smoked salmon -never even offered it at our house and lo and behold my dd tried some

getting the veggies etc in soups etc helps as it broadens their palate

go out for meals somewhere adventurous eg a meze place with choices on the table - when they can 'choose' what they like they seem to try new things (hide big bowls of bread though else they scoff all that first)

Chick she needs to be given no choice. Give her what you eat, then follow the advice below. It took 3mths of battle of wills but we ended up with a much better eater

Chick how many are there in your family? Do you eat together or at various times. Children eat better in groups and as was just suggested try to get a friend who is a good eater round for dinner and give all the same as the rest of the family are having. Peer pressure and competition work better than parental nagging I had 2 other children who were good role models for my mindees eating iyswim.

Wow, QueenFee they do sound similar - my dd was on a diet of ready brek and fruit a while back She also used to 'eat' raw carrot by biting of small pieces and spitting them out everywhere! I never made a fuss as at least she was putting it in her mouth, and she's now started to atually swollow it.
I guess my dd does eat a fair bit compared to what she used to, and I'm always trying to add new things.
That is interesting that your ds was also dairy free.
How does he react when you ask him to try new foods?

There's just me and her. I cook what I want and she gets her usual foods. I do think you're right but I don't know how I can actually get her to try stuff. I don't know if she's really scared of new foods but I don't think she's just being stubborn. It's not a case of her eating a bit and playing with her food, she completely won't try them and gets very upset. Maybe I'll just give her what I'm having, make her sit at the table with me even if she doesn't eat it, perhaps seeing it daily like that will make it less scary. But I really don't think I can leave her to go hungry so she'll probably get a cheese sandwich or a banana if she doesn't eat.

He looks at all food with suspicion. He will often refuse a food before he has tried it but will sometimes eat the lot and ask for more if I can coax him to eat the first mouthfull.

I find it very frustrating that people seem to think that leaving them to starve will help. When I tried it about a month ago all I ended up with was a grouchy child who didn't sleep!

I personally feel my DS has bad food associations that he will just grow out of with time as as he gets older he does seem to be trying more of DDs food (They always eat together and she is one fantastic role model when it comes to eating ) and it is helping now he goes to playgroup asx he seems to sometimes try things without realising IYSWIM beacuse all the other children are.

I find it difficult when I am out mostly as I can't just pop in to a shop to get something for him to eat if he is hungry as I did for DD.

I must admit to my shame that before I had DS I thought it was all to do with how you deal with it as a parent but experience now tells me that circumstance and personality have a lot to do with it.
Sorry for such a long post - Its just comforting for me to know i'm not the only one.