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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Telegraph article today

31 replies

Chinchilla · 02/04/2003 18:34

Did anyone see the article on faddy eaters in today's Telegraph? It was quite interesting, and said that if they won't eat the food that you prepare, to leave it and give them nothing until the next meal. All good advice, except it didn't tell you how to stop your hungry child then having a tantrum in every shop when they see food! It also assumed that the worst fed children belonged to teenage mums, who wouldn't have the knowledge to correctly feed a child. I am not a teenage mum, and had absolutely no knowledge of any aspect of child raising...I read it in books and asked friends/health visitors etc. I assume that teenagers these days can read too!

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Lindy · 02/04/2003 18:38

Just about to read it (over dinner!) - have had such an awful day haven't had a chance to look at the paper ..... will post later.

SoupDragon · 02/04/2003 19:14

Is it this one?

snickers · 02/04/2003 19:42

Makes for pretty depressing reading. Although I attribute my wide and varied diet to always eating as a family, I can't remember ever not really liking anything, apart from onions - which I ended up eating my mistake in a steak and kidney pie once, and then decided they weren't too bad afterall, and tomatoes, unless it was in soup, or sauce!!! My parents have always been "into" food though - perhaps that helped? I've always liked shellfish and fish - but my father is a major fan... He did all the cooking at weekends. And I also know that much of my more "sophisticated" tastes developed later in life (olives, strong cheeses, spicy foods etc). So I guess it really does come down to lifestlye of the family, and the constant battle against television, marketing, and bloody companies trying to releive us of our cash for dreadful products. It's one thing to con you out of money for pokemon - but I think it's an even more heinous crime to brain wash us with marketing for "child friendly" snacks packed full of additives, sugar, carbs, etc... Appalling, and it's something I am already concerned about and DD is only 8ms.

sob

lilibet · 02/04/2003 20:04

Wish I had been a teenage mother - that would make me still in my twenties rather than pushing 40! I think that my nine year old could be the olympic medal winner of fussy eaters. He is the middle child of three, we eat as a family about 5 times a week and the other two aren't bad eaters at all. Every so often I loose all patience and tell him that I am no longer cooking a seperate meal for him. His reaction - "right I'll just starve then" If he so much as touches his mouth with a food he won't have, and last week this happened with sweetcorn, he almost makes himself vomit and retches that much he has to go to the bathroom. All the advice in the world about mashing veg in things wouldn't work with him. I console myself with the fact, that when he gets married I'm sure that we wont have a meal afterwards of fish fingers chips and beans! I don't think, bearing in mind my experience that you can always blame the parent, or the culture we live in, or the availability of fast food, some children are just picky eters and some of them grow out of it and some don't. The only vegetable my boss will eat is peas and the list of food that my partners father won't touch almost rivals that of my son and he puts it down to being force fed food when he was a child.

Original poster

Chinchilla · 02/04/2003 22:05

Soupdragon- yes, that one.

I think all the theories in the world are great, and they might work on your 'average' child - but then are there any of those! I also think the teenager comment was a bit patronising. Some teenage mums are great, just as some more mature mums are dreadful. Interesting reading though, and I now know that I am doing everything wrong! Oh well, he still eats fairly well, despite being able to spot chocolate at 100 yards!

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babster · 02/04/2003 22:19

Sorry to descend into daftness, but the Gina Ford angle made me laugh. I haven't actually read any GF, but have enjoyed the pro/anti-GF threads on Mumsnet. So this is how I imagine her book:

4.20pm Eat a carrot
4.21pm Eat a pea
4.23pm Eat a potato

On no account may peas be eaten before carrots, or potatoes be eaten after the proscribed time. Crockery must be plain and white, with no distracting visual stimuli. 99% of children in my care have thoroughly enjoyed these vegetables, and have grown up to be healthy and valuable members of society.

Sorry folks... must be the wine. And my 3 yr old dd1 is as fussy as they come, so maybe I should be buying the book!

Batters · 03/04/2003 09:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Crunchie · 03/04/2003 09:30

I used to worry terribly with my dd, she was premature and used to vomit after every meal. It took me a long time to relax and stop being stressed. Now sometimes she'll eat really well, othertimes bearly at all. Of course she eats great with everyone else but me DD2 can be slightly more fussy, but I do stick by the advice of 'nothing til next meal'. SHe won't eat any fruit, although she had just discovered dried apricots in little packets (dd1 doesn't like them) and thinks they are sweets!! Yes, result!! I am buying raisins in boxes and kiddy sized apricots, this will con her for a while!!

I do find the food issue really interesting, it is a real guilt driven area of motherhood. We all 'know' what our kids should eat and when they don't we all find ways to widen their diet. I would have thought if a kid ate at least one thing from each food group, it would be OK. Most kids (and I know not all) will eat at least one type of fruit and veg, so they just have peas with every meal!!!

Lindy · 03/04/2003 09:44

Have now read it & found it very interesting; good point that it really doesn't matter about missing the odd meal (wish I could miss some meals - I eat 'automatically' three times a day regardless of whether I am hungry or not so perhaps that isn't such a good habit .... as I am seriously over weight!!)

I don't have any major worries about my DS's eating habits (at the moment!!) he is 2 and ever since he was weaned he has had more or less the same diet that we have - I think I am lucky as compared to a lot of other toddlers I know he does seem a good eater ..... although I know that can all change ..... also I've never got into cooking 'special' meals so if he doesn't eat it I don't feel I've wasted my time & I don't get stressed out over it.

Glad to have the opportunity to find a few other Telegraph readers .... it's not my choice of paper but DH likes it for the sport & after 15 years I am used to it.

Lindy · 03/04/2003 09:46

Crunchie - where do you get the bite sized aprictots in little boxes - I can find raisins, & chop up apricots to put in tupperwared but it would be handy to have them done !

megg · 03/04/2003 11:33

My ds would just starve as well. I tried pretending petit pois were green sweeties last week but ds seems to be able to spot a veggie at 10 paces. He rolled it round his mouth, then spat it out. Tried mashing veg into potato but he's not too keen on mashed spud, he doesn't even like chips which I find really weird. I tried giving him mushy peas last week calling it green slime but that was rejected as well. If I left the crudites and houmous on the table he would lick the houmous pot dry but leave the veg. Oh for a magic wand.

Jaybee · 03/04/2003 11:45

Lindy - not sure if these are what Crunchie uses but I buy individual packets of dried fruit from Safeway - they are usually near the fruit and veg, they also do little packs of carrots too.

wiltshirelass · 03/04/2003 11:53

There was a study done a while ago of toddlers' eating habits. they were about 18mths to 3 years, and for several weeks they were given balanced and varied meals and puddings and just allowed to eat what they liked from them. When they had had enough, they took the rest away. They found some interesting things - first, they all were thriving, none of them were starving themselves. second, although some days they would only eat the puddings, or the carbs, or the carrots eg, over the course of a week if you looked at what they ate it had balanced out into a pretty good diet. I must say I just give my two their food, if they eat it then good, if not, fine. They get healthy puddings if they haven't eaten the main (yoghurt, fruit) but treats like icecream are withheld if they really haven't eaten anything at all and they are offered yog and fruit instead. If starving in the middle of the day they get a banana or a piece of cheese or something. ds eats twice as much as dd, despite bein 2 to her 5, but they are both fine.
I remember my cousin would only eat sausages (literally - the ONLY thing he would eat) for about 2 years. He survived pretty well!

Crunchie · 03/04/2003 14:32

Lindy they are from ASDA, mini boxes of riasins and mini bags of apricots. They seem to be a bit smaller and softer than the big bags (not as chewy) but they aren't cut up. The bags are about 24p each, which although expensive are about the same as a bag of sweets.

Lindy · 03/04/2003 19:31

Thanks crunchie & jaybee for the apricot advice!!

tomps · 03/04/2003 21:21

babster that's brilliant - you obviously have read GF - that's exactly how she writes ! In fact is that really you Gina ?

Original poster

Chinchilla · 03/04/2003 21:26

Lindy - I buy the Telegraph for the crossword!
Megg - ds hates chips too. I just think that I must make the most of it until he discovers McD's in a few years. At least I get to eat his if I go out for lunch and order him something from the kid menu!

OP posts:

Lindy · 03/04/2003 21:42

Chinchilla - I'm very impressed!!

Original poster

Chinchilla · 03/04/2003 22:00

Oh, it's just practice. Eventually you get used to the compiler's way of doing things. I can also do the Times, as it seems quite similar, but the Independent throws me completely! I find it a good way to improve my vocabulary, as I have to look things up a lot. It is one thing that I am better at than dh

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SoupDragon · 03/04/2003 22:01

I used to be able to make a good stab at both those too before children. Sigh.

Original poster

Chinchilla · 03/04/2003 22:03

Soupdragon - I HAVE to do it every day, otherwise my brain turns even mushier! I tend to buy it and look at it when ds has his nap, and when he is in bed at night.

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 03/04/2003 22:05

I must remember to start looking at it on the website again. Early into my maternity leave for DS1 I used to remember to look every day and then compare progress with DH.

babster · 03/04/2003 22:10

tomps - wish I were... maybe I'd be richer and my children would be more compliant!

jac34 · 03/04/2003 22:24

My DS's 4.5 yo, have always been served up the same meals, and in the same way (usually we sit together at the table). However,as can be expected, they have different tastes, one absolutely loves sprouts, broccoli and cabbage. The other will only eat peas,carrots and "milder" tasteing veg.Both love gerkins, pickles etc. and sometimes seem to like things with quite a strong taste, "for children".
Surely, it's just a matter of taste, and certain foods being an acquired taste, that some children may not like but might eat later on in life.

miggy · 03/04/2003 22:33

I wish they would do a programme on TV where one of these people-annabel karmel/gf etc had to take a fussy child to live with them for a week and have them eating a decent meal at the end of it. I would gladly donate DS1 and watch in happy expectation that they would not come off looking too good!
How about a follow up, anyone got a colicky baby they could lend to GF for a week?

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