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Original poster

Ok I am going to be really honest here, think ds is a TV addict!!! Please read!

55 replies

cheekymonk · 04/01/2009 21:17

Ds first sentence every day is "I'm hungry" fine I hear you say so usual routine of make breakfast, telly on whilst I either go back to bed or go and have shower etc (work day).
On a work day he will watch about an hour of telly before he goes to nursery.
On our return at 4.30, telly goes straight on and it is on until he has a bath (6.45ish) so 3 hours 15 mins on a work day. On the weekend it is much more, about 5 hours per day.
If the telly is on in the day it is kids telly and I watch mine at night time. it is dawning on me that he watches far too much and it may well be a cause in his very aggressive tantrumy behaviour. He is constantly saying he is tired even with a good 12 to 13 hours sleep.
Don't get me wrong, I take him to soft play, library etc, play with him in his room so telly is not on all the time but I am sure it is too much. I just have so much to do especially as dh is away and has left finances very complicated.
Is his tv cosumption appalling, worse than average or average??
Am really embarrassed and know how crap I am but need honest advice to help me get ds out of rut...
BTW his weight is fine, he is very active and after a hard day at nursery I know he loves his chill out time...
Going to inlaws and ds wanting tv on so much and always his choice just highlighted things.

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CatMandu · 04/01/2009 21:19

How old is he?

Original poster
cheekymonk · 04/01/2009 21:21

sorry, didn't say did I. he is 4 (in 3 weeks)

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Doodle2U · 04/01/2009 21:22

Does he ever just go and play with his toys?

Try telling him the telly is broken and after two days of whining, he'll reacquaint himself with toys and learn to entertain himself.

I think he's watching a bit too much but that's just my opinion. I'm comfortable with half an hour in the morning and an hour after school (in winter). In summer, they get tipped outside as soon as they come home from school!

lilymolly · 04/01/2009 21:22

nowt wrong with tv, but here are our rules

breakfast and dinner and lunch at table.
About an hour of tv a day
If I/dp want to watch something we do

Not sure if I would sit dd in front of tv every morning whilst I lay in bed but its tempting

Weekends, if its raining then fine, but if dry we are always out and about walking dogs etc.

Doodle2U · 04/01/2009 21:23

AND DO NOT LET HIM WATCH TRACEY SODDING BEAKER!

Original poster
cheekymonk · 04/01/2009 21:25

Yes I realised how bad me going back to bed sounded but that is only on a weekend and when he wakes at half 6! I usually get up by half 7, I am just too spaced out to face day but it is lazy, I know.

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Original poster
cheekymonk · 04/01/2009 21:27

He has a lot of toys but seems to dislike playing with them by himself. Today actually sky wasn't working and he knew this so was in no rush to go downstairs and instead climbed in bed with me which was lovely! We had a chat and it was a much better start to the day!

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peggotty · 04/01/2009 21:27

It sounds similar to the amount my dd who is nearly 4, watches, and I am concerned that it is too much as well. SHe is not necessarily watching it the whole time it is on and tends to play at the same time, although she can also be totally engrossed in a particular programme for about half an hour. If I am completely honest, I use tv as a way of keeping her occupied so I can get things done or even to read a book etc for half an hour. WHat is your ds watching? I tend to stick to cbeebies in the main, as the programmes tend to be pretty innocuous and educational.

I find that the tv is on a lot more in the winter as well as it's often too cold/dark to go out. I go through periods of beating myself up about how much tv she watches, but like your ds, she is fit, otherwise active, very imaginative and bright. So in short, I can't answer your question but will watch this thread with interest. I suspect we won't be alone in the amount of tv our dcs watch.

slayerette · 04/01/2009 21:27

TBH, it does sound like too much. DS used to watch more than he does now - he's 5 - but now the only day we are relaxed about it is Sunday when we all watch Milkshake in our pyjamas! On other days he has an hour at the very most and usually no more than one episode of his Scooby Doo DVDs.

One solution is to stop putting the TV on indiscriminately. Find his favourite programmes in the TV guide and record them, so you can control what he watches and when - make it an active choice. For example, DS has planned to watch Ben10 next Sunday morning, and he planned to watch Merlin each Saturday evening when it was on. But we didn't just put the TV on and take pot-luck iyswim.

Why does it stay on for so long in the morning and the evening, out of interest? We have a rule that when DS gets in from school, he plays/reads/goes out on his scooter with me and then TV on at 5 pm for 30 mins max before tea. (Scooby Doo DVD) - maybe a structured rule like this would help. If your DS knows what time it goes on, he will eventually stop pestering for it at other times and find something else to do instead!

Original poster
cheekymonk · 04/01/2009 21:33

Its just habit that it is on for so long. Ds watches cartoonito, nick junior, playhouse disney, cbeebies. He flicks it over when he doesn't like it and calls it "his remote" I just know that that is not good!! I do need to get a proper structure sorted and encourage his own independent play more.
Thanks peggotty for your honesty.
I know you are right slayerette. It has been particularly bad due to nursery being closed for 2 weeks and so lots of time at home.

OP posts:
CatMandu · 04/01/2009 21:37

It's easy to keep the tv on especially when you have a child who isn't great at playing alone, my ds is like this. However, assuming you've just had a break from routine due to christmas, this is the perfect time to change what you do. We've found that ds plays with his toys more if we either give him ideas of what he can do or start him off and then leave him to it.

Dominique07 · 04/01/2009 21:42

Hi, I think you're probably a bit like me, I never thought little children should watch TV, and now I find with the influence of his dad mine does and I've come to accept it!
On days when I (mentally) ban TV and decide to distract and keep the family away from the TV I try to do exactly as you have mentioned,
give DS breakfast, go to the library and then park and maybe to a friend's house.
My nearby friend only lets little ones watch Baby Einstein so when they turn TV on they just get very baby friendly, calm viewing.
I know if I am trying to get on with things DS always follows me around unless I turn the TV on, I try to read him lots of books - but wish we had a garden so I could just let him wander around making a mess as he wants to!

Maybe you can make your own 'program' of activities
i.e. Saturday is a sports day - horse riding/ ice skating/ walking/ swiming/ football
Sunday could be a friend day, or an art day, making drawings, paintings, making dens out of sheets and chairs and clothes pegs...
just trying to think of things you could busy him with so he is not bothered about the TV.
If it is a harmless part of your morning routine and you make it just that, 10 mins 5 days a week then I expect you'd be doing really really well!

blithedance · 04/01/2009 21:44

Our Freeview box packed up a few months ago, it was absolute liberation from Cbeebies and the DS's (3&4) did get a lot better at playing with toys and stuff.

Agree it is worth finding a few favourite programmes and just turning on for those.

peggotty · 04/01/2009 21:45

I know what you mean about it being habit. I am planning to cut back on it as of tomorrow when things are 'back to normal' i.e she's back at playgroup etc.

DOes your ds like doing craft-type things? I can set dd up with a box of glue glitter, feathers etc and she will spend up to 45 mins doing that without any input from me except admiring her work!

Dominique07 · 04/01/2009 21:46

Yes, reading the other posts, can you tell him the TV is broken? If you can tell him, it is going to be fixed... you can tell him he needs to read his books in the morning.

Original poster
cheekymonk · 04/01/2009 21:47

Yes ds like colouring and sticking but as a me and him activity really. He adores jigsaws and will do those alone so may be worth investing in more!

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Plonker · 04/01/2009 21:53

Hmmm - I do think it sounds a little excessive.

I'm a big believer in everything in moderation, and although I haven't got a problem with my dc's watching tv, I do however limit it. I do this because I know that they will find other, more constructive things to do when the tv is off!

My dc's mainly watch in a morning (but only after washed, teeth, brushed dressed etc), again for maybe 30-45 minutes whilst I'm cooking tea and then maybe again 30 mins before bed. So roughly 1.5 hours a day.

Dd1 would watch more if I allowed her to, dd2 on the other hand is more than content to find something else to do, in fact she rarely needs to be told - she's generally out in the garden ...even in this weather!

Dd1 sounds much like your ds though I have to say. She hasn't ever entertained herself with her toys, she always needs promting, or something suggested to her. She would generally choose to watch telly. I empathise.

katiek123 · 04/01/2009 22:03

cheekymonk - i have an addicted DS too, age 5 - last night when i woke him to pop him on the toilet at 11pm he murmured, in his sleep, when we got him back to bed 'mummy, can i watch telly?' - had to laugh (as i winced). argh. if it was up to him he would probably watch 10 hours a day!

the highlight of his young life so far was probably a flight back to the uk from NZ - 32 hours and 4 planes involved - during which he was in 7th heaven due to the DVD-fest he was - for once - given free reign to indulge in!!

i follow a 1-1.5 hour/day rule. even that amount i agnonise over at times! any more than that would worry me i have to say.

we don't have it on in the mornings on weekdays but he gets 40 mins or so on weekend mornings. he always watches it after school for 45 minutes or so. at weekends he watches it as i get lunch ready too for 20 or 30 minutes. occasionally he watches a star wars dvd as a treat with his dad.

i stocked up on boardgames over xmas and on puzzles - good alternatives now he's a bit older - and swim and cycle etc loads.

starbear · 04/01/2009 22:14

It so easy to just switch the damn thing on and got on to Mumsnet. I've got an only child (4yrs as well) who doesn't like playing on his own. So I've got into a routine of putting the T.V when I need to get some housework done quickly or I've wasted the day on Mumsnet. I read an article in the Times about being resilient in bad times and positive thinking... blah! blah! Then I spotted a sentence. Children who have difficult childhoods are more resilient in adult life (which is true of me and DH) So for my DS sake today, I insisted he played on his own without help from me. It's not as easy as switching on the telly but I got on with making dinner and kept telling him to play with his new toys otherwise I'll give them to poor children (maybe not wise use of words but hey!) early days but I'm going to give it a go.

givethedogachristmaspudd · 04/01/2009 22:21

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NotanOtter · 04/01/2009 22:23

starbear that artcle sounds good - when was it in?

starbear · 04/01/2009 22:31

Saturday Times Body & Soul Section.

NotanOtter · 04/01/2009 22:39

thanks tsarbear

NotanOtter · 04/01/2009 22:39

starbear

NotanOtter · 04/01/2009 22:59

sorry starbear i canno find it!