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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Are we spoiling 6mo dd???

29 replies

lauraloola · 04/01/2009 19:22

Dp asked today if he thinks we are too soft on dd. I say yes straight away. He makes me sound awful when I leave dd to cry if there is nothing wrong with her so for the last 2 weeks I have picked her up each time as he has been home.

She is only 6mo but is very stubborn and has tantrums - Screams and throws her arms around. She also hits when she is angry.

I cant believe I am writing this about a 6mo but has anyone else had this??? From tomorrow I am not going to pick her when she cries unless there is something wrong and instead occupy her with her toys etc.

OP posts:

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peggotty · 04/01/2009 19:24

6 month olds do not have tantrums and you can't spoil them.

Horton · 04/01/2009 19:25

You can't spoil a six month old. Please pick her up when she cries. She is only talking. It is the only way she has to ask you to pick her up and be close to her. I'm sure she'd ask nicely if she could, but she can't. Maybe all that is wrong is that she's not close to you? That's a perfectly valid thing to be upset about for a little baby.

bodiddly · 04/01/2009 19:25

I agree ... I don't think they are capable of being manipulative at this age!

MarlaSinger · 04/01/2009 19:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

randomcupsoftea · 04/01/2009 19:25

Carry her & cuddle her

MarlaSinger · 04/01/2009 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DaisyMooSteiner · 04/01/2009 19:26

How do you know there is nothing wrong when she cries - she can't tell you, which is why she cries

meandjoe · 04/01/2009 19:27

you can't spoil her. i always picked up my ds when he cried (i still do ).

Paperchase · 04/01/2009 19:28

If she's crying, something is wrong. And how can you tell if there's something wrong?

Please pick her up, if that's what she wants.

OonaghBhuna · 04/01/2009 19:31

This is her way of communicating to you, please do not ignore her, pick her up,or put her in a sling so you can do things around the house.
I would never leave a baby to cry.

RhinestoneCowgirl · 04/01/2009 19:32

Sometimes the thing that is 'wrong' is that she wants to be picked up and cuddled - and babies need to be cuddled! This is v different from a tantrummy toddler throwing a paddy because he can't have any biscuits.

Obviously there are times when you can't get to them straight away, but if you're there, just pick her up. Making your dd feel secure now will stand you in good stead in future.

Original poster

lauraloola · 04/01/2009 19:42

I thought the same as you all. But she is defo having tantrums. If she is lying flat and tries to sit up she will flap her arms and scream with a frown on her face.

She is very independant - Most of the time she will only accept solid food if she holds the spoon with me.

Honestly she isnt like a 6mo. She hits when has a tantrum and kisses when she is in a good mood.

She doenst cry often at all but has these strops. The only time she cries normally is if she is over tired or hungry and then she defo gets whats she needs.

Im going to try occupying her tomorrow when it starts and see if that works. If not I will pick her up.

OP posts:

Original poster

lauraloola · 04/01/2009 19:44

I sound like a troll but Im honestly not.

Dp has just said I should film it and put it on here! You wouldnt believe what shes like when she is frustrated. She does get cuddles all the time and is very affectionate some times and will kiss when you ask and cuddles. Its the other times that Im worried about.

OP posts:

OonaghBhuna · 04/01/2009 19:46

Maybe she is teething or in pain?Have you tried baby massage, this can be relaxing for babies. Holding the spoon is normal, both of my DDs did this.
There is a reason for this behaviour so if you can just stay with her to reassure her, rub her tummy or talk softly but please dont leave her to cry, she needs her mummy.

rubyslippers · 04/01/2009 19:47

you are projecting and ascribing adult feelings and emotions to a baby

you just need to pick her up and cuddle her - 6 months old is a weird age.

they are getting so very aware of their environments but they can't talk or move very much so they can seem "angry"

don't try to occupy her - she just needs reassurance and physical contact

MarlaSinger · 04/01/2009 19:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

lauraloola · 04/01/2009 19:50

Thanks.

I think it worried me because earlier dps brothers made a comment when we picked her up as soon as she cried. He said 'oh she knows how to get what she wants'.

Dp raised the subject later and asked if I thought we were spoiling her.

I have never known a baby to be like this though. She hit me in the face earlier because I lay her down on the bed next to me while I got up!

OP posts:

MarlaSinger · 04/01/2009 19:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OonaghBhuna · 04/01/2009 19:55

And what do DPs brothers know about bringing up children? Do they have any? People make silly comments like that all the time I would take it with a pinch of salt.
If you are worried go to the HV or Gp.Your baby needs your support no matter how challenging the behaviour can be.

MarlaSinger · 04/01/2009 19:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

themulledmanneredjanitor · 04/01/2009 19:58

she didn't 'hit you because..' anything
she may have thrown her arms out and whacked you but that is all.
she is not having tantrums.

pick her up and carry her. you can't spoil a 6 month old with too much love and attention.

ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 04/01/2009 19:59

I don't believe you can spoil a 6 month old baby and even if she is having tantrums she has no other way of communicating to you just how bloody cross she is - or what it is she is cross about.

I would give her cuddles and reassure her that although she is cross she is safe and loved.

Original poster

lauraloola · 04/01/2009 19:59

Thanks everyone. I feel loads better now and will continue to cuddle her.

I am so hoping it is a phase and that once she starts crawling she will be ok.

She is so lovely most of the time but I guess it is frustration.

OP posts:

Reallytired · 04/01/2009 20:01

I don't think you have to worry about spoiling a baby until they get to toddlerhood.

My guess is that you have no concept yet what a true tantrum is. Wait until your child is two or three years old has a meltdown and screams for 40 minutes because she wants to wear a summer dress in January.

A baby of six months just does not have the sophisication for that kind of tantrum.

PartOfTheHumphreysGroup · 04/01/2009 20:05

Well I swear my 4 month old has 'tantrums'! Bless her she seems so mad sometimes! She also does Queenie style squeaks if i'm a bit slow getting my boob out! I don't leave her to it but picking her up doesn't help one bit. I find distraction with a noisy toy (or bunch of keys) to work best until she calms down. Then she gets a cuddle.

Op I think I know where you are coming from but I don't think you can spoil them at this age, no.

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