Please help me tame my 13 month old!

[tryingtobemarypoppins]

He is very very energentic! Lovely but has started to become a nightmare! He throws his food on the floor, won't go in his car seat and pushchair without a major fuss, screams when having his nappy changed as he doesn't want to stay still etc etc.

All he wants to do is run around putting the lids on things, run after the ducks and be very social.

I sometimes think he is a bit lonely as if we have a whole morning at home he is a nightmare, get to toddler group and he is very happy.

He has just started to drop his early morning nap in favour of a late morning one so getting me dressed is almost impossible as he wants my attention all the time.

Firstly can someone tell me if this is normal!

Secondly, how do you structure your morning, when and how do you get ready?

Thirdly, how can I manage his behaviour?

My husband won't even consider a brother or sister as he thinks we, well I won't cope!

My DS is lovely just very constant!

Any help gratfully recieved!

Yep normal. It gets worse too

You need to double the amount of time you expect it to take to do anything and then add ten minutes for examining every single blade of grass on the lawn on the way to the car.

His behaviour is not bad, he's just lively. He's just learned to walk fast right? Now if you'd just spent an hour on your bum on the floor and you'd just learned to get around wouldn't you want to do it a lot?

It WILL get easier btw. Especially once they start to communicate as they don't get so frustrated. At the minute it's an enthusiasm/capability problem that's all.

It is normal.

You can't tame a baby.

He sounds like he is having fun.

I don't think you can have too much structure with a baby - they don't read the same plans as mums.

Boys need to go out every day.

have you tried getting out the house as early as poss even if just for a walk or to the park. I found ds at that age was better if we went out early and wore off some of the energy a bit. We got up, dressed and breakfasted and were out door by 8amish. It made the rest of the day more managable.

Get clothes ready the night before - can your dp help with him in morning so you can have 10mins to have a shower and get dressed.

A brother or sister may help, give him something to focus on and someone to play with.

On the other hand he may not like the idea and chase the baby instead of the ducks.

He is "normal", a boy!, energetic and lively. good Luck! btw I have one like it too.

all sounds very normal so i'd just make things easy for you all. my 16 (nearly 17) month old is like this, hates nappy changes, always on the run, gets bored in car seat and buggy very quicky, very very active and full on.

i get dressed as soon as i get up, before i go to him in his cot, that way from the moment i see him i can give him my full attention.

my ds loves putting lids on things too!!! he is constantly climbing things, trying to reach things he shouldn't have and consequently either falling or getting dragged off by me and then he gets very frustrated and cries .

i try and distract as much as possible at nappy changes. i friend i met on here recently gave me a good tip regarding nappy changes and so far it has worked well. i give ds a little torch (he loves switching it on and playing with it) and it ususally distracts him for long enough to lay him down and change him.

i find my ds a lot easier to cope with at toddler groups too, much less intense and demanding. i think it's because they get bored anf frustrated at home.

i think you are managing his behaviour already! just be consistant in what he is or isn't allowed to do. be calm/ gentle but firm. remember it's a phase and i'm sure by the time they are 3 they will have learned to sit still for 5 minutes (hopefully!)

Horribly normal!

Do you have baby cage/play pen??
I used to plonk mine in there for 15mins while i jusmped into the shower and threw my clothes on!!
Had everything ready the night before.
Or had a shower at night so just had a quick wash in the morning and dressed while he was in the room with me destroying everything!

Thank-you!!!!! I was starting to think this wasn't normal!
Yes, he has been walking from 11 months and gets very very frustrated when lids won't fit, he can't reach the light to turn it on etc etc. He had a full on temper outburst today pointing to a candle wanting it lit!! This lastedv 20minutes! I felt like crying, I tried all the "lets play with" but nothing worked.

I think getting washed and dressed before he wakes up may help, Getting clothes ready will also help thanks for that. Some days I eat nothing as there is no time, how do you cook clean get dressed and eat!?

aww darlin your ds sounds like mine! very strong willed and high energy! he is not easily distracted once he's not got his own way, he stays in a mood, throwing himself about and crying for ages (it feels like ages anyway!!). i just ignore him now, which he hates but i just wait for him to calm down and then distract straight away. my ds hates it when lids don't fit too! i pray he will mellow bit when he can talk more and make more sense of things.

i eat when my ds does but i have to gobble it quick cos within 5 monutes ds is ready to get out the high chair. i also shower after he's gone to bed or just jump in the bath with him in the evening, he loves climbing about all over me and i just about manage to get washed (in a fashion). it works but it is exhausting.

Ahh, nap time is magical time to prepare food, cuppa bung washing in machine etc.

You still have to do stuff and cant entertain him every minute.

No kid died from crying for something that they want for 20mins...it gets the message across that no means no.

I got lots done when dh came home and took over from me.
babygroups and soft play are also great and can kill a couple of hours in the day too.
My advice i suppose is to work around them and do whatever is easiest for you.

Its not forever, it realy is over in a flash and you are waving them off at the school gates. So take heart, you have a happy, healthy bright little chappy there, so be proud through your frustrations! grin]

Thank-you your all so sweet! I guess I thought that this was to come later around the age of 2 not 11 months! Would you leave it a while before thinking about another baby? I don't think I have it sussed yet!

oh and keep cooking simple, a sandwich or a jacket potato bunged in the microwave is perfect for kids and not unhealthy either. make things as simple as possible and take the pressure off yourself. i sometimes make lovely more adventurous meals when ds is in bed and then put in in tupperware to microwave for him and me the next day. spaghetti bolognaise, ratatoulle, risotto, pasta bakes etc can all be made and saved for the next day!

sorry cross posted with you then! only you know if you are ready for another baby. i know i'm not but some people are far better at coping than others!

Thanks meandjoe will try eating with him and worry about the mess later before I fad into a twiglet! By the way teaching is great and I love it! Working PT also fits in really well with being a mummy, the hols are great.

Just to say this thread is so reassuring. My 14 mth DS is exactly the same and sometimes I feel frustration as well that I am constantly removing him from sockets, DVD player, remote control, phone etc all day. I need to get out EVERY day, this Christmas has confirmed that ... and some!

Every time I say 'no' firmly, he laughs at me and does whatever he was doing again, so it's all such a big game for him at the moment. I can distract him, but I think he has to start learning 'no' soon, especially as he has started hitting and slapping. I don't want to just distract him, I want him to learn that certain behaviours are unacceptable.

I love DS so much, but it is difficult to match their energy sometimes isn't it.

My 12mo is going this way, he has started hair pulling, slapping, and if I tell him off he thinks it's funny! I'm constantly pulling him away from the TV unit. Can't have the TV on at all, as he wants to stand right in front of it. though having the TV off is probably a good thing
Glad to hear it is completely normal!

thanks for that tryingtobemarypoppins, very thoughtful of you to tell me that! i am really looking forward to it. i am thinking that a class full of 10 year olds must be less tiring than one of my ds! phew, he just never stops! what age do you teach? sorry for being nosey!

now for goodness sake go get something to eat before you waste away and grab a cup of tea (or a glass of wine ).

Wine in hand!
Yes its strange! 30 Year 3's are easy compared to 1 energetic 13month old! The training is hard but I mentor student teachers and they all love it in the end! I do 3 days and my job share does the rest. Lots of planning and phone calls to one another but it works really well. The hours are flexible to some degree. You could leave at 3:45 and take work home for the evening, or leave at 5pm. The hols are the best bit and it works so well when you have little ones at school!

I try really hard to explain why I say no, but also try to baby proof everything. The TV does drive me mad, he loves to turn over the TV, turn it off and on etc........so its now off at the wall! As for plug sockets, I can't believe they have the strength to pull out the plugs!

We haven't had any hitting yet but I can imagine thats very hard. We have snogging with snot and slobber though. Shockingly not everyone likes it??!! One mum told him not to kiss her son like that!

strange woman! my ds snogs everone and everything, i encourage it, maybe i shouldn't or else he'll turn out to be a deviant! i always think i'd rather see a kid kissing than a child hitting etc.

the tv drives me bonkers too. my ds also has learned to take out the socket guard i bought. i told my health visitor when she came round to do 12 month check up so she gave me some that they use in the sure start buildings, really flat, supposidly totally baby proof. no challenge for my ds, he took it out and passed it to her like it was a game. i now have huge lockable boxes that cover the entire socket and any plugs that are plugged in. they are meant for schools but they seem to have finally done the trick!

the job shring sounds ideal. i am really looking forward to it all now. really can't wait to get training although i appreciate it is pretty heavy going. it will be a bit of a shock to the system but i have really missed uni and it will be nice to do something productive with myself!

My ds doesn't do kisses

But he does do cuddles - he'll come upto me and rest his head, put his arms around me ans says "ahhhhhh!". So heart-meltingly cute

My DS1 has always been an 'energetic' child I don't want to depress you but he is now 2.6 and he is still exactly the same - although easier to reason with (but harder in that he doesn't have a nap anymore!) so no advice other than to baby proof as much as you can and maybe lower your standards about what is acceptable or not (i.e. choose your battles!)

As another poster said, we cannot spend the entire day with him indoors as he clearly gets cabin fever and starts misbehaving more than normal!

Am afraid to say that I actually enjoy going to work for 4 days a week, DS1 goes to nursery and we get a break! In fact, I am now on maternity leave (having had DS2 6 weeks ago) and DS1 still goes to nursery 4 days a week as he gets to expend all his energy there and me and DS2 can chill out

There is absolutely no way I could be a SAHM - I absolutely admire those of you who are

I agree with everyone, this is just how some kids are; absolutely full on. I remember the famous time when ds was about this age, we spent the day with my parents and my bum actually touched sofa on just one occasion, for about one second!

I think kids like this are extra exhausting and I have to agree with Ceebee that even at 2 my ds was the same; at 4 he was a much more reasonable being and 5 even had lots of calm times!

My ds had his nap in the middle of the day so I totally know where you're coming from about not being able to get ready; unless you have a child who looks for constant input you just can't imagine it; I just looked a terrible mess for 3 years or so, TBH!!! I had a friend who would meet up with me in full make-up with ultra straightened hair etc and I just could NOT imagine it. Her kids were just different!

My suggestions would be:
Get a break whenever you can
Start to like the ponytail/tracksuit look!
Take him swimming - great for burning more energy than anything else IMO
Get out as much as poss, the park, library, museums etc
Let him do exploration things; play with the car steering wheel, put keys in and out of doors, fingerpaint on windows, play baths, boxes full of interesting stuff like saucepan lids etc, let him 'do up' his own seatbelt(eg play with it for five mins on getting in and out of the car)

and finally have faith in him, he won't always be like this, he will calm down a bit - and in the meantime he is learning LOADS and will be bright as a button!

And if you want my personal opinion, wait until he is about 5 before you have another. I know for a fact it would not have been possible to keep a happy home with a child like this and a newborn, for me. When ds was 5, it would have been a very different and much nicer experience for everyone.

Leo9 5! I can't do that to him! He is desperate for a playmate. I also think it may help him to understand that you sometimes have to wait etc???

Bouncingturtle hugs are lovely! He's a mummy's boy! I think boys are! Are you thinking of number 2?

Meandjoe - let me know if you want any help along the way! With teaching that is, not parentning, i'm still in search of the book!

But a newborn baby is not a playmate, is it? It's a little leeching being who takes away your mum's attention and brings up seething feelings of deep hatred

If you're prepared to have your ds as he is and a newborn, you're a better man than I, gunga-din

Good luck!