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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

6 yr old dd wants to be vegetarian, crying about eating meat,advice ??

74 replies

MerryChatkins · 31/12/2008 20:21

Not sure where to post this really, maybe health too ?

We're not vegetarian, but my 6 yr old dd has announced over christmas that she wants to be one. We have a friend of mine staying with us at the moment who is veggie, and I gather that dd asked her why, and she explained about animals being treated really badly.

This has made dd refuse to eat meat over christmas, no meat in her christmas dinner at all! I am fine with it in theory, but I am worried she is a bit young, and also I am not sure what or how to cook for her ! THB it has thrown me a bit, and as she is skinny anyway, I am concerned about doing it the right way, and don't have a clue.

Would you insist she eats meat or hope its a phase and will pass ? Or should I be encouraging her to pursue her own ideals and values on this ?

She broke down and cried at the dinner table yesterday as I had forgotten and cooked her favourite sausage mash and veg, and she cried because she said she wanted to eat the sausage but 'felt too guilty'. Tonight she was relieved to see her jacket potato and beans had no sausage in it !

I am just surprised she has stuck with it this long really, and not sure what to do. Dh is a big meat eater and thinks we should encourage her to eat it again. Anyone else any experience of vegetarian kids ??

OP posts:

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Yurtgirl · 31/12/2008 21:08

lovesdogsandcats - A lot of veggies never eat Quorn, me for one - Yuk, yuk I would rather eat real food!
The situation may of changed now but previously quorn wasnt accepted as veggie by THe Vegetarian Society - because it was tested on animals whilst in the development stage (I think that was it!)

27 · 31/12/2008 21:08

Hula, as I said below, I do think that a 6 year old can decide to eat meat, I think that my DD is able to weigh it all up and come to her own decision.
I also think that you have a bit of a point about why it is OK to allow a child to choose to be vegetarian, but not to eat meat.
Of course it is healthier to be vegetarian, so that would tip the balance for me, but I see where you are coming from. Someones ability to make a choice doesnt depend on how much their answer agrees with your own opinion.

Hulababy · 31/12/2008 21:08

Yurtgirl - this is DD's piano - PX720C in the black ash; it is the compact size so not as wide)

Hulababy · 31/12/2008 21:11

Actually, IMO, it is not always healthier to be veggie. I have nknown some very unhealthy vegetarians. I agree a vegetarian diet can be extremely healthy, but this is not always the case IME.

FrannyandZooey · 31/12/2008 21:12

i would say on moral issues it is right for parents to make the decisions while their children are young
if you don't see eating meat as an ethical thing then you are not going to feel strongly about whether your children do or not
but conversely if you do then you may well

it's more along the lines of a family who feel very strongly about fair trade for instance
would they let their children trample on the family principles and buy sweatshop goods? probably not and why should they

melpomene · 31/12/2008 21:12

Also, in answer to Hula's question, my dd1 is 5 and I recently told her that if she decides she wants to eat meat or fish outside the home that's her decision, but I wouldn't cook meat or fish for her. (Similarly, my dh is not veggie and he has meat outside the home and in takeaways but I draw the line at cooking it.)

I have explained to her that meat is pieces of dead animals and that the animals are usually badly treated while they're alive, and that most people eat meat but personally I think it's not fair to raise animals this way and kill them to eat them when (in our culture) we have so many alternatives. But if she does decide to try meat, knowing this, then that's her decision to make at this age I think.

Original poster

MerryChatkins · 31/12/2008 21:15

well unfortunately the only people I know veggie are this friend who is staying with us, who is ill, so dh automatically makes comments like she needs a good bacon sandwich - and my mum was one, but she was one of those on and off, eats fish, kind of ones ! And had unhealthy eating habits in general. But I have had so many positive and helpful suggestions from this post, that I am not worried at all now !

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 31/12/2008 21:16

i think it is very easy for an adult vegetarian to eat unhealthily through sheer laziness.

however, I have never met an unhealthy veggie child, but many many unhealthy meat-eating ones.
I think parents of vegetarian children do make a really big effort to ensure all their nutritional needs are met. more so in many cases, than those whose children eat anything.

Yurtgirl · 31/12/2008 21:22

27 · 31/12/2008 21:25

Frannyandzooey

I agree with you that eating meat is wrong, and I would prefer my children not to do it.
I dont give the younger ones the choice, as I dont think they are mature enough to make the choice. So I make it for them.
I think my oldest DD is able to decide (that isnt to say that I think all 6 year olds would be, but my DD is IMO, I dont know if I will think the same when my other children reach that age).

I just dont think it makes sense to congratulate to OPs daughter on her decision making if you actually dont think that she is able to make that choice, but you are happy to support it because it fits in with your moral position. (because if she was a vegetarian child wanting to eat meat I think you wouldnt support that?)

I'm not saying you arent absolutely right to make those decisions for your children, just that thinking that they are old enough to decide means accepting whatever choice they make, and if you cant, then they arent old enough, IYSWIM?

Lovesdogsandcats · 31/12/2008 21:31

yurtgirl, the reason the Vegetarian Society did not endorse was because in the early days, it was not made with free range egg. It now is, so gets their backing.

FrannyandZooey · 31/12/2008 21:32

well, you see the thing is that i think the op's dd has reached a stage of advanced moral reasoning
i completely see what you are saying, but i disagree, because what i am congratulating the op on is a dd who is capable of making the RIGHT moral decision - and yes I DO think that some moral decisions are better than others (think it is disingenuous to pretend otherwise tbh)
i respect other's choices to do differently but I don't value all moral paths equally
am not ashamed of it

Original poster

MerryChatkins · 31/12/2008 21:32

I see what you are saying 27 - for what its worth, I am trying not to congratulate her or not congratulate her, I am trying to make sure she is well informer, and prepared to eat other things instead, and try new things. In her case I think 6 is old enough to make a decisiona and stick with it as long as she personally wants to. I just want to know what and how to cook to make sure she is getting enough nutrients etc. I do admire her in a way, and I think I would admire her if she had been brought up veggie and was now deciding to try meat.

OP posts:

FrannyandZooey · 31/12/2008 21:33

oh and it's interesting to hear when people think their dc can make the decision to have meat
i don't know what age this would be for me - not yet anyway (ds nearly 6)

27 · 31/12/2008 21:40

Of course if they are at school they may be making that choice anyway.

There have also been occassions where vegetarians in my DDs class at school have eaten the meat option while at school dinners (out of curiosity).

FrannyandZooey · 31/12/2008 21:42

yes good point
my ds1 does say he wants to try it
then he will walk past meat aisle in supermarket saying "oh NO LOOK"

27 · 31/12/2008 21:49

My middle DD is 4 and says that she wants to eat meat. She isnt mature enough to decide though. She also makes some choice comments in the supermarket if she sees the meat aisle, so she hardly has a consistant opinion on the topic.

piscesmoon · 01/01/2009 00:29

I think that 6 is plenty old enough to choose to eat meat, if it is offered.They can't possibly make an informed decision if they only go by their parent's views.

piscesmoon · 01/01/2009 00:37

I am not thinking so much of a roast dinner, but if they are at a birthday party and handed a plate of sausage rolls I think they are old enough to decide whether to try one. My DCs have been free to eat whatever is offered at a birthday party, it seems over controlling to say 'Mummy says I don't eat them'.

tittybangbang · 01/01/2009 10:15

My 8 year old went veg over the summer because she doesn't want to eat animals. I was hugely proud of her for refusing sausages and bacon, which she loves.

She lasted 6 months but decided to start eating meat again over Christmas.

If I was the OP I'd be very proud of my dd that she's thinking about animal welfare at such a young age.

Tortington · 01/01/2009 10:17

my dd did it fro TWO YEARS when she was 6.

i think you can explain how she can eat meat from an ethically farmed source.

get her some vit b12

leave her to it.

piscesmoon · 01/01/2009 10:18

I think that I would be inclined to take her to a working farm to see the animal welfare. I would also point out that cows, sheep, pigs etc would become rare species in farm parks if everyone had the same views!

FrannyandZooey · 01/01/2009 18:48

yes, deciding what your children are and aren't allowed to do is quite controlling
most of us do prefer to do this to some extent, though, most of us are not comfortable without any boundaries of behaviour
deciding what is acceptable to eat, is just as much fair game for parental input as what is suitable for children to wear, watch on tv, do with their spare time, etc
most of us have rules or general guidelines on at least some of these subjects

it isn't more or less controlling to impose our views about vegetarianism on a child, than on any of the above issues

FrannyandZooey · 01/01/2009 18:50

and like many people i would much rather see farm animals become rare species than have millions of them farmed and killed for our benefit
this argument never fails to confuse me
why on earth do people think it is preferable to have a large population of something that is being treated abysmally and killed, rather than a small or even non existent population that lives in freedom or in good conditions?

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