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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Does your child discuss what they did etc in nursery?

36 replies

lorne · 21/03/2003 22:31

My ds is 3.7. He attends nursery for 2.5 hours, 4 days a week. I always have to ask him what he has done that day in nursery. He does tell me bits and pieces but not much. I feel if I didn't ask him he wouldn't say anything at all. He really enjoys himself and as far as I know is getting on fine. Just wondering if your children tell you about what they have done?

OP posts:

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Eowyn · 21/03/2003 22:34

My dd nearly 3 gets quite cross if I ask what she's done or tell her to tell daddy etc..generally I know anyway or would find it very fustrating. Maybe it's another toddler trait.

Lindy · 21/03/2003 23:07

I was looking after a friend's 3 year old yesterday, I asked him what was best about playgroup - his reply was 'lunch'!

Angiel · 21/03/2003 23:11

Whenever I ask my dd what she did at school or my ds did at playschool, I generally get 'nothing'.

I did hear that sometimes they are more forthcoming if you ask them 'what the best thing you did today?' and 'what was the worst thing?'. It hasn't really worked for me though, although my friend says it works.

megg · 22/03/2003 08:07

According to my ds (3.3) he reads Brown Bear Brown Bear, paints in red, blue and sky blue pink and watches videos all day everyday. Sometimes he goes to the seaside. Even at such a young age they tell you what they think you want to hear. Just because we showed an interest once about him reading Brown Bear that is the only book they ever read. Obviously for the four days that he is there they do loads more. They do go to the seaside for walks though when the weather is nice. I was a bit worried as well at his lack of sharing his life but I asked my friend who has a daughter (who is better at speaking than ds) and she just gets 'nothing' in a beligerant tone as if its none of her business so I think it must be a toddler thing.

Ghosty · 22/03/2003 08:16

My DS's answer is ALWAYS ... "I played with the train track ..."
I have no idea what else he does there but I am certain he does more than play with the train track ... but it is the bit he loves most so that is what he tells me ...

hmb · 22/03/2003 08:18

We get 'nothing' and the only way i can tell what they have eaten (without checking the list) is to look at the stains on the jumper! I think this is fairly universal. Dd has got better over the last year or so, and she is now 6. She will let me know the gossip!

Chiccadum · 22/03/2003 08:38

If I ask my 3.10 yr old all I get is 'well i didn't do any painting', she says the same EVERY day

pie · 22/03/2003 09:24

My DD is 4 tomorrow and at nursery full time. Every day I ask what she did. She tells me the same little boy pushed her and she lost her paintings (I keep telling her that they put them in her draw so we can bring them home). Every day I as her what she had for lunch. And her reply is also the same 'Nothing'.

I think that maybe there is a secret society that runs in every nursery class across the country, that perhaps they are all Spy Kids in training. And they are sworn to total secrecy.

Or maybe not.

Original poster

lorne · 22/03/2003 09:36

Thanks to you all for your replies. It looks as though it is a normal toddler thing not to tell us mums too much. I was just a bit concerned about it but my mind is at ease now.

Thanks again

OP posts:

KMG · 22/03/2003 09:47

In ds2's nursery there is a child who struggles with language, so to help communicate the teacher was drawing up a timetable of what activities are planned/out each day that week. It's all info that she has already, as the sessions are very structured, and planned in advance. But she has put a week's information on an A5 sheet. As she was doing this already, she offered to print them out for anyone who's interested. We pick one up each Monday morning, and it is GREAT! It means I can offer some hints to ds2 as to what he did, and it encourages him to tell me all about it. It also makes me appreciate nursery all the more, and realise all the exciting things they do get up to!

Maybe you could ask at your nursery if this would be possible?

KMG · 22/03/2003 09:51

You can also try leading questions: - What did you have to eat at snack time? What songs did you sing? What story did the teacher read? (Remembering/relating a story is an important skill, which is worth practising and encouraging.) What did you play with at outside play? Who did you play with in the sandpit? etc.

I pick ds1 and ds2 up together in the afternoons, and they talk all the way home (20 mins) telling me all about every detail of their day, and arguing about 'whose turn it is to talk'!

megg · 22/03/2003 10:18

Lorne are you sure our ds' aren't one and the same? How are you?

Bron · 22/03/2003 15:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatkat · 22/03/2003 18:30

My ds also apparently does "nuffing."

Original poster

lorne · 22/03/2003 18:31

Hi Megg,

Nice to hear from you. I laughed when I read your message, do you find you ds like mine? I probbaly worry too much. I was going to ask you does your son like dressing up? Mine isn't too bothered at all. He has a pirate theme at Nursery next week and we can dress them up. Anyway went into Inverness today to buy a pirate outfit(he was very excited about this) but when we brought it home, he had it on for 2 minutes and he wanted to take it off!! Would your ds wear it for alot longer?

Hope you and family are well.

OP posts:

Marina · 22/03/2003 19:26

Ds is another one who spends his day doing "nothing". Sometimes he "can't remember". Amazing that he has no problems with the location of the biscuit tin at home...what he is better at is grassing up his little friends. X told me purple was a girl's colour...Y scrunches up my drawings...what a snitch!
We found KMG's solution of more targeted questions helps.
I think this is a toddler/preschooler thing.

sobernow · 22/03/2003 20:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bobbins · 22/03/2003 20:40

My ds's nursery used to write a diary for him everyday...from 8 monthsold.....they do this for all the children up to school age and the parents pick it up on a Friday...I really used to look forwards to picking it up.

Eg....todayI had a baked bean bath with Emily

or...Today we made hand prints...here they are!

Enid · 22/03/2003 20:55

this is hilarious, especially pie as that is exactly what dd1 says EVERY day after nursery! clearly she's joined the secret society!

Bobbins · 22/03/2003 20:55

That was a very good nursery.They had a parents de-briefing at the end of every day.How many nappies? How much food?

A subsidised workplace nursery. Thank you BBC

emsiewill · 22/03/2003 22:40

According to dd2 (3.9) she does "nothing" every day at nursery. Or else she makes up stories, like the teacher wouldn't let her get a tissue for her snotty nose, or at after-school club they hit her to make her eat mashed potato. (By the way, I am absolutely 100% certain this does NOT happen). I've resigned myself to asking dd1 about the after school club, and trying to catch on to every little snippet dd2 lets slip, and probing her further.
She also does "nothing" at ballet and "nothing" at the childminders. Boring life she has.

breeze · 23/03/2003 07:22

My DS aged 3.3,tells me a little of what he did at play-school, he is to busy telling me about others kids that he played with and who is his new girlfriend this week. At the moment his is alternating between 3, the 'teacher' tells me they sometimes argue about who will sit next to him for register, starts young doesn't it?.

megg · 23/03/2003 09:49

Hi Lorne we haven't bought ds any dressing up clothes but I doubt he'd keep them on anyway. Its as much as I can do to get to put any clothes on, as soon as you turn your back he's pulled them all off again. He'd run round naked all day if he could. The window cleaner doesn't think ds has any clothes as everytime he comes round ds is naked. Ds wants to go out and do things but doesn't like the fact that he has to get dressed to do it. He'd rather sit in all day than get dressed and go out if he was given the choice. Oh well off for the daily fight to get him dressed so we can go to the park. Have a good day.

tigermoth · 23/03/2003 09:56

My sons 3.5 year oid is an active member of the 'nothing' soiciety too. The 8 year old when younger was the same. From school days oneward, he began to lte me into his secrets, but needs targeted questions even now.

One tip, if anyone's interested. I have found with both my sons that I got to hear more of nursery day just before I said good night to them. When my sons are in bed, and I am having a quiet good night chat with them, it's amazing what information pops out. I suppose they are mulling things over in their heads before they drop off to sleep.

KMG · 23/03/2003 10:20

Sobernow - that brought back some memories - i used to do that too. ... Come to think of it ds1 did recently write in his school diary that I'd fallen in the river and been rescued by the lifeboat crew! .. it's obviously genetic.

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