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Original poster

4-year-old distraught over song - anyone had anything like this?

33 replies

sticksantaupyourchimney · 12/12/2008 21:26

I was combing DS's hair, sitting on the stairs and started to sing 'Halfway down the stairs' to him. I sang it a couple of times, he asked me to sing it again then burst into tears and howled inconsolably for a few minutes. I could not get out of him what the matter was, he calmed down, then we went and did teeth-cleaning, book-reading, into bed - he asked me to sing it again then cried again.
SOmething similar happened a few months back when I sang Brahms Lullaby to him.
Thing is, my singing is not that bad, (not as bad as the playgroup leader or some of those gibbering loons on Fun Song Factory either) - DS loves music and is very interested in it, but I honestly don't think it was wrong-notes-hurting-his-ears...
I just found this a bit freaky. Has anyone got any idea what might have upset him like that?

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HangingbaublesofBethlehem · 12/12/2008 21:28

My little sister would always cry uncontrollably when we sang Brahms lullaby - we always used to say it must have meant something to her in a previous life.

Woollymummy · 12/12/2008 21:47

the first time I tired an old fave french children's song "Vent Frais, Vent du Matin" (look it up on You Tube) on my DD, she stared at me, never seen her look like that before. she was about 1 at the time. I sang it for ages that first time as she looked so entranced, then when I stopped she burst into tears. totally unlike her. I though I had upset her by singing it, but she screamed when I tried to sing something else. So I tred it again. She just stilled and listened again - it was the first time I realised music could affect her so deeply. She then went through a phase of wanting it all the time, every day, every bedtime, even at toddler music where no-one else knows it. Now we have come through that phase, but will keep it on the back boiler for the years to come. I remember feeling similar things about Mike Oldfield's "Moonlight Shadow".....

Woollymummy · 12/12/2008 21:48

that should say tried, not tired. I am tired.

BibiJesus · 12/12/2008 21:53

Maybe he liked it a lot or it made him feel a certain way and as a 4yo didn't know how to express the rush of emotion, so cried. DD (just turned 4) sometimes burst into tears when we play "quick let's hide from Daddy" or something, it's like she gets too excited and it scares her.

jingleMAMADIVAsbells · 12/12/2008 21:56

Aww poor DS but have to agree I do think that Funs song factory are twats especially the annoying little one who somehow made his way through to the Xfactor final.

troutsprout · 12/12/2008 22:05

dd used to cry every time i sand brahms lullaby when she was about 18 months old.She's 5 now and her eyes filled up recently when i sand 'my grandfathers clock'.
She is an emotional wee thing...gets really emotionally involved with films and cries too ...(but loves it at the same time). I used to worry about it a bit..now i figure she just likes a good weepy tbh.
i can remember to breaking my heart over lassie and '2 little boys' at about 6 or 7.

Gorionine · 12/12/2008 22:21

DD had the same with a french nursery rhyme (En bateau ma mie) the equivalent of "row your boat" I never understood why an it stopped as suddenly as it appeared. what I could never understand is why she would (like your DS) ask for me to sing it again and again.

Wooly is there something special with old french songs? I remember crying myself with "Les prisons de Nantes"

Original poster
sticksantaupyourchimney · 12/12/2008 22:21

I have always had a tendency to blubber at 'sad' music, so maybe he's inherited a touch of that, and it was some sort of rush of emotion... but 'Halfway Down The Stairs'? Not the most immediate of sad songs IMO...

(I do think DS percieves music in an unusual way though: he has some way of relating music and numbers that makes no sense to anyone else... maybe that was it.)

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notyummy · 12/12/2008 22:25

THis makes me sound a bit pretentious (I don't think I am - honest ) but when I was 4 I listened to Holst 'The Planets'....mainly because it was the only record my Dad gave me to play on his old record player. I remember very vividly sitting in my room listening to it, and when 'Mars, God of War' came on (very dramatic and foreboding/violent) I was terrified and burst into tears and my parents siad I was distraught and scared.

Music can be incredibly powerful, and children are less inhibited than us about showing it's effects.

DaidiNaNollag · 12/12/2008 22:42

I have blubbered uncontrollabley at "Two Little Boys" by Rolf Harris since I was little and still do! In fact it's my rather pathetic party trick! Sing "Two little boys" and have tears streaming down my face by verse 2!

Original poster
sticksantaupyourchimney · 13/12/2008 01:29

Oh, I howl at certain songs, sure. Will You by Hazel O Connor (ask me to sing that and get a mop...) And, embarrassingly, the Night Garden theme - I can't hear it without imagining it as a funeral song. Yes, and Two Little Boys as well. And (oh, I shudder to admit this) Matchstick Men and Matchstick Cats and Dogs if I hear it unexpectedly when premenstrual...

I guess DS has just inherited this weep-gene...

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sticksantaupyourchimney · 13/12/2008 19:57

It definitely is some kind of emotional reaction to that particular song - he asked me to sing it again tonight, saying he didn't think it would make him cry. I got through one line and his bottom lip wobbled, so I said 'Shall I stop singing DS?' and he nodded and we sang Baa Baa Black Sheep instead quite happily.

Mind you he is now runing round in his Father Christmas suit brandishing a toy drill.

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singingtree · 13/12/2008 20:06

santa, I know what you mean about the Night Garden theme, for some reason it makes me feel massively sentimental, and sort of nostalgic in advance

I've started playing the soundtrack to Oliver to DS as I LOVED it as a child and want him to too

FattipuffsandThinnifers · 13/12/2008 20:17

I think this is lovely - and amazing, as it just shows you the power of music. I really think children even from babyhood relate to music in such an instinctive way, and something like Brahms Lullaby is so potent as it's romantic, strings, etc, so you could see how it could affect the emotions. I mean, music (and not the lyrics necessarily, eg classical music) moves adults to tears.

I also think bursting into tears is a common thing for children to do when they just feel emotional and don't know why.

Btw sticksanta, the relationship between maths and music is a proven one. Really interesting. Your ds must be very musical/logical to pick up on this so young, you might have a beethoven on your hands

jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 13/12/2008 20:25

ds1 (9, but severely autistic) sometimes cries to music. He cried to Slipping through my fingers today. I don't think it's the words as he doesn't understand sentences, - I think it's just the emotion of the piece. He has always been very affected by music.

xfabba · 13/12/2008 20:33

I cant attend my childs nativity this year because they are doing Little Donkey which makes me cry hysterically (well will have to stand outside). Don't know why, it's not very sad and I am not religious. Two Little Boys does it too (welling up typing it) but that is more understandable becasue of the lyrics.

It is heartbreaking when they get upset like that but I think a positive thing really in terms of music appreciation.

baltimore97 · 13/12/2008 20:47

Music can quite easily bring tears to my eyes too - although many things do TBH! "Jerusalem" and the Night Garden song do it for me, especially just before AF!

I wouldn't worry at all if either of my two DDs cried on hearing music - I think it shows a good appreciation of it.

MerrySibhmas · 13/12/2008 20:57

The music /maths thing can be a sign of synaesthesia as well which is a totally amazing phenomenon ... I'd agree it was a rush of emotion, and good for him for going back to the song again a few times to see what that big emotion felt like.

Original poster
sticksantaupyourchimney · 13/12/2008 21:19

Ooh, I shall be envious if he has a touch of synaesthesia as it fascinates me (though I know it can be a distressing ailment, I remember reading of a bloke who 'tasted' words and couldn't address his work colleagues by name as some of them tasted so horrible...).

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kennythekangaroo · 13/12/2008 21:22

Ds cried at "Twinkle twinkle" until he was about 7. They had to stoop singing it in his physio sessions as it upset him so much.

Boco · 13/12/2008 21:27

synaesthesia thing interesting - dd1 is 6 and learning the piano. One particular note on our piano is a bit out of tune and dd is insistent that it 'tastes' like very strong orange juice - she gets quite cross that I don't know what she means.

PartOfTheHumphreysGroup · 13/12/2008 21:51

Omg, two little boys is lethal!! Did you see it a month or so ago on 'This Morning' when Rolf was explaining his family history too??! Sob!
The theme tune to prisoner cell block H always got me too

FattipuffsandThinnifers · 13/12/2008 22:05

The music/maths link wouldn't necessarily be synaesthesia. There's an established theory that music is based on mathematical principles and structure (octaves, scales, chords etc). How does your ds relate to music in a mathematical way?

theramones · 13/12/2008 22:19

I was like this when I was little, with the song 'Nobody's Child' my dad used to sing this to me when I was child just to see me cry.
Dh was also like this with the song 'Liverpool Lullaby' (or, The Mucky Kid) but probably because dh's dad is a drinker.

mrsout · 13/12/2008 22:19

MY DS is 6 and still cries at certain songs. The last part of "hush little baby" always upsets him because the bily goat runs away.