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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DD not talking, do I contact the HV?

68 replies

Newbarnsleygirl · 21/03/2005 14:29

I've only just logged on and I was about to start this thread then I saw Evesmama's thread about her dd, I did'nt want to hi-jack so I've started my own.

I have the opposite problem in that dd is nearly 18 months and not saying anything at all. She will say nono if she wants something and dit if she's seen something that interests her but that is it.

Now, do I contact the HV and see what she thinks or am I just being daft?
I saw dd's HV last October and we mentioned speech to her then and she said just make sure you read and go through books with her, point things out etc. We have been doing that and 6 months on we're still the same.

Has anyone else had this problem and if so what did you do?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

wobblyknicks · 21/03/2005 14:32

I'm in the same boat if it helps (I'm sure we're twins btw!) - dd is 20 months and only says 'bye' and 'mama'. She seems up to scratch in other areas, she's just not bothered about speaking. Personally I'm not bothered yet, am expecting some proper words soon, will probably contact the (useless) HV if nothing's changed after she's 2.

Keane · 21/03/2005 14:34

I think its quite normal before two

dot1 · 21/03/2005 14:35

ds1 didn't say a single thing until he was 17 months. He then said "fish" and nothing else for another few months...! He was very very quiet until about 6 - 9 months ago (when he was about 2.5 years old I suppose) and then had a huge word, sentence and phrase explosion and now we can't shut him up!!

Does your dd communicate in other ways? Does she shake/nod her head? Pointing's another good one - all signs she communicates and understands are good - she just might not want to start talking yet - we just had to wait for ds1 - he understood everything but I think almost wanted to wait until he could talk 'properly'...

kid · 21/03/2005 14:35

My nephew had speech disorder, he wasn't making hardly any sounds at 2years. My DD had delayed speech and was using single words but were very unclear at 2.5.
I always believe in getting advice as it takes ages to be referred if the child does need speech therapy. Also, if it turns out that they don't need help, no harm done!

What does she do if you offer her a choice, ie: Do you want juice or milk?
This way, she has to answer to get what she wants. Having said that, 18 months is quite young to be worrying, at 16months, my DS could say a few words. At almost 3, he doesn't stop talking!

Original poster

Newbarnsleygirl · 21/03/2005 14:37

Ah WK, Oh Wise one!!!

It does bother me and I try so hard with her showing her things and constantly repeating words and nothing comes back.

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wobblyknicks · 21/03/2005 14:39

Lol, definitely not wise, just know too much about too little!! I know it's hard, I do wish dd would start speaking but I know I can't make her, and neither can the HV so I'm just trying to forget it until the magic age of 2.

wobblyknicks · 21/03/2005 14:40

Btw - does she understand a lot - like dd understands when I say 'sit down', 'get teddy', 'brush your teeth' etc

vkone · 21/03/2005 14:42

I've got abit of a slow one for talking, tho younger (only 14 months), but I saw this article in the guardian recently, which I thought was quite heartening.

Guardian Article

Original poster

Newbarnsleygirl · 21/03/2005 14:42

Quick replies!

She does point at things sometimes but not everything and she does understand some things we say like go and get your dummy or blanket. She could'nt choose something like a drink either.

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kid · 21/03/2005 14:44

I think she is still a bit young to be worrying. Is she due to have an 18 month check? I think my kids had a health check around that age, not that DD's delayed speech was detected until her 2.5 - 3 year check.

RnB · 21/03/2005 14:45

Message withdrawn

wobblyknicks · 21/03/2005 14:49

My dd very rarely points now, she used to but never that much. It sounds simplistic but she never seemed to need to. If something was near her she'd get it, if something's far away she look at it and/or laugh at it.

And she couldn't choose between milk or juice, she doesn't care which it is as long as she gets a drink.

Reminds me though, I've been doing sign language with her for about 6 months. Not very hugely, because I've tried to concentrate on talking to her but she can do signs for eat, drink, teddy, brushing teeth, changing, bricks, hug - just off the top of my head. NBG, it might be worth trying signing with her, if she learns a few signs it might reassure you she can communicate and it'll help her tell you what she wants.

Original poster

Newbarnsleygirl · 21/03/2005 14:52

That was a nice article vkone.

She does point and gesture but it could be at anything, 9 times out of 10 I don't know what she is after or what she is pointing at and when she does point I think she does it because she can IYKWIM.

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wobblyknicks · 21/03/2005 14:55

Also, does she 'talk' in babble? DD can have whole 'conversations' with herself or her teddy, it makes absolutely no sense and doesn't even sound like words but its definitely a conversation - all 'blllerrrllllerrlll' and 'ah ah ah's

Original poster

Newbarnsleygirl · 21/03/2005 14:56

I bought a signing book before xmas and started with her and she never got the hang of it.

If I say to her Let's go to bed or lets have a bath she will walk to the stairs and rattle on the stair gate and if I say lets clean oyour teeth she will go to the bathroom so somethings she does understand but when it comes to finding out what she wants is very very hard.

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Original poster

Newbarnsleygirl · 21/03/2005 14:57

Yes she will babble, the latest one is Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh as loud as she can!

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clary · 21/03/2005 14:58

Hmm, RnB and kid make some good points here. As the mum of a child with a significant speech delay I would always say get it checked out and keep on checking it out if you are still not happy.
Don?t mean to alarm you NBG, and agree that 18mo is early to be worrying, but still....
If she is pointing and communicating in non-verbal ways then that is very important. Giving her options (milk or juice?) is also good, even if you show her the two and she points to what she wants, that?s communicating.
Just for background, I took my ds1 to the HV at ?3 or so, he wasn?t saying much but offered her ?yellow ball up there? which she was very happy with. When he was 4+ and due to start school I and nursery agreed his speech wasn?t very clear, but assessment by SALT offered me ?normal delay in complex sounds? eg str, tr, etc.
By the time he was 5 and still couldn?t say c or g I got another assessment and SALT agreed (hurrah!) that there was a problem and we were prescribed some SALT.
(Hurrah not because I?m glad there is a problem, of course, just I?m glad I?m not going mad imagining one!)
Now (he?s 5.5+) we have had his hearing tested because of a concentration problem and it turns out he has some hearing difficulties! aaarrrgh. This could be the soruce of it all!!!!
So now we are waiting for a ref to the ENT. sigh.
Sorry for rambling post NBG, but my point is I think that it?s worth persisting if you are not happy with the opinion you get. The two big concerns for a non-talker are hearing and ASD as I understand it. DS1 clearly keen to communicate, plenty to say (just not very clear) so not ASD but maybe it was hearing all along.
How is yr DD?s hearing? And does she seem to want to communicate? If both OK then you probably have nothing to worry about.
By the way Jimjams knows a lot more about this stuff than I do and if she is around I am sure she will have some helpful advice.

wobblyknicks · 21/03/2005 15:01

How long did you give it? It took dd about 2 months before she did any signs back, then she did one or two for another couple of months before doing a lot more. Also what I found that helped was getting books with people doing the things you're signing and then signing while you're on that page. DD's favourites are 'When It's Time For Bed' and 'When It's Time To Play' (or something like that), both by Nick Butterworth. That's when she learnt most of her signs, seeing what the animals were doing, seeing me do the sign and putting the two together. She learnt far more that way than seeing me doing the actual action eg brushing my teeth - strange but true!

wobblyknicks · 21/03/2005 15:03

God that sounds like dd!! It's earsplitting when she does it, makes the dog run into his basket.

I'm not an expert and it might be good to get a professional opinion anyway but as she's obviously learning to communicate in some way it sounds normal and a bit early to worry.

QueenEagle · 21/03/2005 15:07

My ds2 had speech disorder in that he only made a swallowing/nasal grunting noise at the back of his throat and had speech therapy from 2 and a half until he was 6 - he also couldn't say 's' sounds so for shoes and socks he'd say noos and nocks! He was taught basic sign language which is supposed to take the pressure off making him talk and he attending a special language therapy play group when he was 3. Speech Therapy continued when he was statemented at school and when he was 6 he was completely discharged and now he speaks perfectly - in fact he never shuts up!

Son no3 has also had one speech therapy assessment session he's 2yrs and 3mths and says hardly anything. I'm told so long as he communicates in other ways such as pointing, grunting or anything else that indicates a desire to be heard is to be encouraged. We were also told not to ask questions such as 'what's that?' or 'what noise does a pig make?' etc as this puts him under pressure to talk. Instead we have been told to "comment, not question" ie point to things and state what they are without asking him to repeat words back. We've had to tell our older kids to stop trying to make him "perform" when friends or family visit, again it makes him self-concious and he clams up. If he mis-pronounces a word such as car for instance, say back to him "yes, that's right it's a car".

Hope these tips help!

Original poster

Newbarnsleygirl · 21/03/2005 15:10

Thanks Clary, I hope you get things sorted for your DS.

WK did you show your dd the signs yourself from the book or did she look at them in the book and do it herself? I 've tried to find some sign classes but the nearest one is 25 miles away and I don't drive.

If anyone wants to start ant babysign classes, please come to Barnsley!

OP posts:

Jimjams · 21/03/2005 15:10

I think clary's covered it.

big big one for asd is not pointing, and not following a point. If ds1 saw an aeroplane at about 18 months he would look at it, look at me at it again and say "ee hee". Good because it showed the beginnings of joint attention (looking at me) but no pointing. And in particular no pointing out something of interest.

Also gestures, although ds1 did wave bye bye (doesn't now but did then).

If those things are in place3 then you don't need to worry about speech.

DS2's speech was slow but his language and communication was up to scratch so I never worried about him.

QueenEagle · 21/03/2005 15:11

Oh, and don't be afraid to pester your HV for a referral to a speech therapist for an assessment. It was only when I jumped up and down a lot re ds2 that he got referred. At the time it was notoriously hard to get any help or intervention once they started school so getting the ball rolling whilst he is pre-school age is really important. I'm told with ds3 that things have improved a lot though since then. If it turns out he doesn't need speech therapy long term, then no harm done.

wobblyknicks · 21/03/2005 15:14

I've never done a class. I showed dd the signs myself, not in the book, but I showed her a different book (just normal picture books) which had someone doing that thing in while I did the sign - iyswim. Like the 'When It's Time For Bed' has a crocodile brushing his teeth, something else taking its clothes, all of them snuggling up in bed etc, and those 3 pics alone helped her learn 'brush teeth', 'put your clothes on/off' and 'hug' signs.

wobblyknicks · 21/03/2005 15:21

A couple she's learnt from everyday life though, while I think about it, but never from looking at the sign in the book. Drink, eat and shoes she definitely learnt from RL, from me signing them as she did them. They have got changed a bit by her and look nothing like they're 'supposed' to but she always does them the same and definitely uses them correctly now, but it did take a while. Think it takes longer the older they are, it might have been quicker if I'd started at 6 months but I didn't!

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