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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Which is better - not cleaning teeth, or forcing it and risking phobia?

52 replies

potatofactory · 26/11/2008 19:13

That's the choice we are faced with at the moment. My dd (18 months) WILL NOT co-operate - we have tried all possible tactics. I'm worried that if I just go in and clean them when her mouth is open because she is screaming, then I am risking a proper phobia. If we don't do this she gets bad breath and I really worry about her teeth.

Any thoughts?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

2point4kids · 26/11/2008 19:16

My dentist said you MUST do it and they will eventually get used to it. Same as if they hate bath time but you'd still wash them iyswim.

My DS was the same. He screamed blue murder every single day from about 12 months to almost 3 years old. He's 3.1 now and doesnt LIKE teeth brushing but will tolerate it as long as I sing the teeth brushing song
And I only do it once a day as well instead of twice (probably very bad!) will up to twice soon as he is ok with it and has his 'proper' teeth!

Sing VERY LOUDLY a song as you do it (mine is made up 'this is the way we brush our teeth' to mulberry bush tune') and he will pick up on it and get disracted by it eventually and not be traumatised honest.

nickytwotimes · 26/11/2008 19:18

Ds hated it, but we persisted to a certain degree - we didn't force him, but whatever he could manage we went along with.

He'ss been happy to get his teeth brushed since he turned about 2.

FeelingLucky · 26/11/2008 19:19

I wouldn't force it.
Do you brush her teeth for her, or do you let her do them herself?
I have always let my 18 month old DD do her own teeth and the only time she doesn;t want to do them is if she's really badly teething. But she'll still put toothbrush with toothpaste in her mouth for a short time.

rubyslippersisappearinginpanto · 26/11/2008 19:19

chewing the brush is apparently ok

i spoke to my dentist about it as my DS is a fan of clamping his mouth shut

things which have worked is be brushing at the same time, or letting him "brush" mine before he does his

he, now, lets me brush his and we brush like "tombliboos" from In the Night Garden

Original poster

potatofactory · 26/11/2008 19:19

Thanks so much for that - I feel bolstered to just get on and do it whatever.

Might nick your song!

OP posts:

peachygirl · 26/11/2008 19:19

I spoke to the dentist about this telling him I was not forcing it (DD is 21 months)if she didn't want it and he said that was fine.

Have you tried allowing her just to chomp on the tooth brush we do this. Then mummy has a turn (or doesn't as is often the case)

good toothbrush here
I particularly like the step by step tooth brushes with the big round handle
Good for me to hold and small enough for DD too.

You can get them in poundland

whitebeachesandcoconutoil · 26/11/2008 19:19

my toothbrush song-brush your teeth,brush your teeth brushybrushy brush them bright up and down left and right brushy brushy brush them bright repeated about 3 times

MegBusset · 26/11/2008 19:20

I would do it -- even if only for a few seconds to start with. Dental hygiene is non-negotiable in my book.

Apologies if you have tried all of these but I/people I know have had success with the following:

Using an electric toothbrush
Letting them hold a toothbrush at the same time
Doing it in front of a mirror
Brushing toys' teeth as well
Singing 'The Laughing Policeman' very loudly

Weegle · 26/11/2008 19:21

I don't know what level of understanding you DD has as it can vary so much at that age but what we introduced then and still do now at 2.5 which results in cooperation is DS starts (ie. chews brush, sucks off paste) and then Mummy finishes (redo proper amount of paste and "open wide"). It's gradually got better. But I went with the school of thought of This Has To Be Done, not backing down and within a few months that's just the way it is. No phobia here, now just solidly part of the routine. DS first, then Mummy.

TheOldestCat · 26/11/2008 19:21

I got a tip from someone on here (thanks whoever it was!) to let the child have a go at brushing first. Does she enjoy sucking on the brush and mucking around with it? Once I've let DD 'brush' for a bit, I go in with a second brush. This seems to do the trick.

Lately she's been tolerating saying 'AHHHHHH' while I brush her teeth so things are getting better (she's just turned 2).

hope this helps.

Maveta · 26/11/2008 19:21

Oh I´ve been wondering this too with ds almost 19mo. What i do is when I am brushing my teeth I give him his toothbrush. He gnaws on it for a while and then still while I have my toothbrush in my mouth (and mouth full of toothpaste!) i take it and have a quick brush around, getting a quick swipe at all of them. He isn´t keen but very very slowly he seems to be getting used to it and it´s not a battle.

I know it´s important but I do think it could become a phobia and feel that the softly, softly approach is the best way. I really can´t see that holding him down for a full minute (or whatever the recommendation is) with him screaming/angry/scared is going to get a better result.

notnowbernard · 26/11/2008 19:22

You've just have to get in there

I've posted about this before with dd2 (she was prob about 18m or so at the time)

She's 2.3 now and very co-operative to a point. We do have to compromise a bit though - she does them in the morning and we do it at night

Seriously, it was a 2-man job with her. 1 to restrain and 1 to get in there when she was screaming. You CANNOT reason/bribe an 18m old and at the end of the day, they HAVE to have their teeth done, don't they?

It does pass

notnowbernard · 26/11/2008 19:23

Ought to have said, had tried every other strategy in the book and NOTHING worked

2point4kids · 26/11/2008 19:25

Yes we have two brushes as well. Let DS 'brush' first (ie suck the toothpaste off) then my turn while he is still messing about with his brush.

beforesunrise · 26/11/2008 19:26

keep going. she'll stop resisting it eventually. how about going shopping for a brand new toothbrush together? my dd is now a serious toothbrush fetishist, she has 4 or 5.

the alternative is an electric toothbrush, kids are fascinated by them, i know it says on there not before 3 years but tbh i think at 18 it would be absolutely fine. we have one with cinderella- big hit

PerkinWarbeck · 26/11/2008 19:28

agree - you've got to get in there.
The screaming does stop as they get used to it, and it doesn't take long for them to accept that this is non-negotiable (even for my DD and she's rubbish at backing down).

I try and make her laugh as this helps her to open wide.

notnowbernard · 26/11/2008 19:30

DD2 was like this with everything...

Teeth, nails, hair (washing and brushing), putting on PJs

Was very tiresome

She's quite compliant now

Original poster

potatofactory · 26/11/2008 19:36

So brilliant to have all your response - thank you. We have tried brushing our teeth at the same time; Daddy brushing Mumm'y's teeth; dd brushing Daddy's teeth (and any other combinations you can think of!) She wasn't bad for a while, but now vigorously shakes her head at the sight of the brush, and is completely oblivious / impervious to anything from that point other than crying a lot until it stops. She's not interesting in chewing on the brush pr anything, unfortunately.

Some say do, some don't on here. I felt better yesterday though after just getting in there and cleaning them while she screamed - I had been so worried about her teeth - but it started again of course this evening, hence the thread.

OP posts:

edam · 26/11/2008 19:43

Sounds horribly familiar from when ds was that age. If you think about it, there are probably sound evolutionary reasons for not wanting anyone messing around with your mouth.

We persevered. At one stage I was pinning ds down on the floor with my knees either side in order to get into his gob but I took the line that it was not negotiable and had to be done.

We tried all the getting him to choose his own toothbrush and paste and all that stuff too. It helped but there were still many days when it came down to brute force.

Am glad I didn't give in now - two of his friends, age four and five, have had to have fillings. Thankfully ds is fine despite eating fruit all day long. (I only heard about limiting fruit and fruit juice to meal times when he was about three. Apparently if they do eat fruit between meals, you can give them a lump of cheese to neutralise the acids.)

edam · 26/11/2008 19:45

Oh, musical toothbrushes help - we had one from Sainsbury's that only played if you were actually brushing. Not sure how many toddlers like the Scissor Sisters but I guess there must be other tunes available!

notnowbernard · 26/11/2008 19:45

That sounds very familiar, Edam...

Am glad it is a distant memory now

neolara · 26/11/2008 19:54

A brilliant tip I got from MN was to ask my dd what is in his mouth tonight e.g. "Is Bob the builder in there tonight? Oh yes, I can see him up the top. And his digger too. Let's give him a tickle. Oh, and I can see a lion as well. Let's chase him away" etc. It transformed teeth brushing over here and worked for a good 6 months for my dd. Eighteen months might be a bit young for it, but definitely try it in a few months time. I've been doing it with my 23m ds for about two months.

Original poster

potatofactory · 26/11/2008 19:59

Thanks Neolara (and all other lovely ladies)

I will try the 'What's in your mouth' strategy when she's a bit older. For now, it may have to be brute force

OP posts:

Original poster

potatofactory · 27/11/2008 09:41

Thanks for that link to the toothbrushes, peachygirl. Going to get one of those!

OP posts:

petryk1 · 27/04/2009 11:55

Hi! I have an 11mnth old who has 4 teeth naughty mummy that i am, i have only just started to brush his teeth !(very naughty),feel bad, but S had lots of teething pain, and wouldn't allow anything in his mouth other than a spoon which he had put in!!.
I am having lots of probs. with S clamping down on either my finger or the brush, in fact the bristles already look worse for wear after one week of use!!! any ideas he is a bit young for having a go himself?!.
Also, have noticed that S has a tiny bit of tartar in between the bottom 2 teeth, which the HV said I probably wouldn't have been able to stop unless brushing thoroughly!. Has any one taken their Babies to the dentist at this age?. I have booked an appt. for myself and will take S with me and hope that the dentist can clean his teeth a bit more thoroughly!.

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