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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

should i let my daughter change her name,

49 replies

sanchpanch · 16/03/2005 13:51

hello, my daughter age 7 and hates her name, as she feels really differnt from everone else, her name is Sanchia, other children at her school have unusual names but she doesnt see them as different she accepts them, This has been an on going thing, this september she starts a new school and doesnt know anyone there so she feels this would be a good oppurtunity to change it, just wondered if anyone else has experience of this, and any solution, be glad to hear any ideas, thanks

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katzguk · 16/03/2005 13:53

what would she like to change it too?

Does she have a middle name she could use instead?

nutcracker · 16/03/2005 13:53

Well my daughter is 7 also, but i wouldn't let her change her name No.

Has your daughter got a middle name that she could use ???

Caligula · 16/03/2005 13:53

I wonder if there are any books about people with unusual names and how it makes them special? Sanchia is really not that unusual, imo, has she been especially teased about it or something?

nutcracker · 16/03/2005 13:53

Lol snap Katzguk

Original poster

sanchpanch · 16/03/2005 13:55

wow thanks for your replies, As far as i know she hasnt been teased, she is popular at school and has a lovely group of friends, her middle names are old fashioned as they are taken from my grandparents,
A book might be a good idea,
Thankyou

OP posts:

katzguk · 16/03/2005 13:58

lol - nutcracker great minds think alike!

I think 7 is too young to make this decision.

Can she come up with a nickname she likes?

Fimbo · 16/03/2005 14:00

My dd is nearly 7 and personally I wouldn't allow her to change her name, but then again thats easy for me to say as my dd loves her name. Could she shorten her name to San or something?

Original poster

sanchpanch · 16/03/2005 14:02

we call her sanch for short, but she hates that to, i know she is to young to make this decision, but she is so precious to me and the thought of her being uncomfortable about something makes me upset, I worry about her a lot

OP posts:

PrettyCandles · 16/03/2005 14:03

I have never used my 'real' name, but my nickname which is totally different and unconnected. I kn ow from experience that using a different name to the one in which you are registered can be a minefield. Firstly, many teachers were unwilling to use what they considered a nickname and insisted on using my registered name. Secondly it was always a hassle, even once most of the teachers had accepted my different name, having to explain at the begining of each year, or to each new teacher and to have to win them over too. Plus I went through this hassle with doctors, dentists, banks...endless. Thirdly - and worst of all, really - bullies learned that I hated my registered name and used it as a very potent weapon to upset me.

So I would suggest that if you decide that she will use a different name, to make it a complete change, and not use S for some things and not for others.

If you don't want to formally and legally change your dd's name, does she have to be registered at school as S? Does she have a middle name that she could use instead?

lisalisa · 16/03/2005 14:05

Message withdrawn

vkone · 16/03/2005 14:08

I'm afraid I'm not familiar with Sanchia (sorry, I mean the name), anyway, is there an equivelent in another language? I felt that way about my name when young (Maria, common now, odd then, except when we went to Spain when it was very confusing!)

I experimented with Mari and Mia (my favourite), just a thought but there are loads of name sites you could look it up on.

Original poster

sanchpanch · 16/03/2005 14:11

yea i think my family would be upset cause a name kind of sticks, she wants to be called ellie, we dont know any ellies, and strange enough that was going to be her name, but when i was in labour i was reading a magazine and the name sanchia was in it,
Prettycandles, thanks for your reply, there is obviously a lot to consider,

OP posts:

PrettyCandles · 16/03/2005 17:04

If you like E, and she likes E then why not make a complete change? It doesn't sound like S is a 'family' name after all, so what do the extended family have to do with it? Or perhaps you could add E as a new first name (ie S becomes her middle name) and then she could be registered as E. Of course, if the extended family aren't cooperative the she may find that Granny still calls her S, for example.

aloha · 16/03/2005 17:12

I'd say no. I have what was a very unusual name - now rocketing up the charts, due, I think to a famous rock star's daughter having the same name. In the Seventies nobody had my name but me. I wanted to be called Sue or Jackie like everyone else! But now I absolutely love my name and feel aggrieved that it has become so popular. I think at seven you just want to be the same as everyone else, but that urge fades and by her teenage years she will be longing to be cool again. I think Sanchia is a beautiful name - honestly I do - and I think your daughter will think so too when she is a little older.

aloha · 16/03/2005 17:14

I also think talking to her about being 'special' as opposed to just 'different' might help. It's hard to feel proud of your differences at that age, but it IS cool to be different IMO! I think she will get over it tbh. Don't feel guilty about choosing a beautiful name for her though.

beansprout · 16/03/2005 17:15

Is this partly about her anxiety around fitting in at her new school? Is she worried about something that she sees as marking her out as different?

Gwenick · 16/03/2005 17:16

I'd say no - if I had been allowed to change my name everytime I decided I didn't like it as a child I would have been through about 15 names!!!!

ThomCat · 16/03/2005 17:19

I think it would be such a shame to change such a beautiful name. What a tricky situation, I don't know what i'd do. It'll be so odd for you won't it, suddenly changing her name and getting used to, plus all the family and friends etc. Trouble is if you change it to Ellie, how long till she bores of that and changes her mind, or finds a new name that she thinks is even better than Ellie?

aloha · 16/03/2005 17:20

Personally, I'd also worry that it might make her feel MORE insecure if she changed her name.

elliott · 16/03/2005 17:26

I think it is too young. but maybe she could be allowed a nickname?

spinelli · 16/03/2005 17:52

Aloha, Iam racking my brains to Guess what your Name is now?? CAn't think of a rock star? Its not Jade is it?
Please give us a clue!

Blossomhill · 16/03/2005 17:54

I have to say Ellie is a lovely name. Not that I am biased

Aero · 16/03/2005 18:22

We gave dd a beautiful name (imo) and for a while she refused to acknowledge it, telling everyone that her name was Emily and that she was five (she's four). We chose to ignore it, but that didn't have much effect, so we decided to mention that Faher Christmas didn't know anyone called Emily living at our house, so wouldn't be leaving any presents for her as he thought 'dd' lived here! That worked, and there's never been a mention since until recently when she informed us that we should have called her 'Shelley'!
Having said that, your dd is considerably older, so those tactics may not work. I'd go for some kind of nickname that can be seen by you as a term of endearment perhaps, but no to actually changing her name.
I had a friend at school whose surname was Maxwell and everyone called her Maxi - to the point where teachers thought her name was Maxine and referred to her as such!
Funnily enough, there was a Sanchia at our school too, and I've always thought it was a lovely name.

Original poster

sanchpanch · 16/03/2005 21:00

thankyou to all your replies and giving me lots to think about, lots of good ideas thankyou, i appreciate it,

OP posts:

aloha · 16/03/2005 21:28

Not Jade...but you have the right band....

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