2 year old not speaking or eating much

[thingamajig]

My niece was 2 last month. She does not speak any words and has never babbled. She can hear and understand very well, but she does not, though can, eat solids.
Is this normal, or does it warrant further investigation. If so, what sort of thing can SIL expect?

Hmm. My brother was like this because my mother mollycottled (sp?) him as he was her last child.

I would ask a doctors opinion. It may be something or nothing. My husband once worked with a gentleman that didn't speak until he was twelve. No medical reason why he just didn't. Maybe there isn't anything wrong with her hearing but she needs tubes or something in her ears for drainage?
I have a friend who's son was two and he wasn't speaking. He had his hearing tested but nothing was found wrong. He later had a second opinion and they put tubes in his ears and now he is four and almost completely caught up on vocabulary. He could hear but not clearly. He was hearing like when you listen underwater...no anunciation etc. Just sound almost.

also knew a 2 year old who didn't speak. Well, maybe one or two words. Is speaking absolutely fine a few years later. Don't know about the solids though. Do you mean solids as in any food or do you mean she just has pureed food?

dont know about the food thing - but didnt utter a word til i was 3. have no idea why and dont remember it.

it warrants a chat with the health visitor and a chat with the GP.

If she understands and follows instructions that a 2 year old would normally be able to follow, there may not be much to worry about. How does she communicate without speech - pointing ? Gestures ?

What does she actually eat? Why is she not given solids if she can eat them?

I wouldn't be too worried about a 2 year old not speaking yet but you say she never babbled. What noises, sounds does she make?

How does she communicate her needs?

There are lots of reasons why children don't speak. Sometimes its selective mutism where they can but don't. Sometimes its a hearing problem which obviously isn't your neices case.
Sometimes its confidence and they are taking it all in but not saying anything because they want it to be right and don't have the confidence to express themselves until they are sure they will get it right.
If she isn't eating many solids then her facial muscles may be under developed as chewing helps to strengthen the jaw and tongue muscles used in speech.
She may be shy? Has your SIL heard her say anything? Does she repeat back any noise that sounds like something and say a word i.e. neice points at door saying 'aw' and SIL says 'yes thats right its the door' iyswim. That kind of reinforcement gives them confidence to try out new words and sounds and puts the sounds to words iyswim.

my DS is 2.3 and says daddy and thats it. He hears well and is very bright in other ways, ie watching you do something only once and does it himself from then on. He was, and still is, a very, very fussy eater and was a bit slower onto solids than perhaps he should've been.

I didnt speak till i was nearly 3 and have no actual concerns that it wont come in time, but have made a gp's appt for next friday just to make sure. This may well turn into speech therapy but if thats whats needed then...

If you ask him to say mummy, he ALWAYS says "vu-vu", if you ask him to say juice, he ALWAYS says "ce-ce", its nowhere near the right word, but does say the same sound everytime, am i right to be encouraged by that?

What makes this slightly worse is most of his friends, his age, can speak much better, and although he doesnt know anything, i get their mums asking "no better with his speech then?" which gets annoying.

(welling up now) Id just love to hear him say mummy, just once
xx

DD at 2 didn't speak alot or eat alot DD at nearly 3 won't stop talking and is a much better eater.

Sorry not to get back to you sooner, thank you all for your replies. To clarify,we know she can hear and understand by her actions; she can follow instructions very precisely eg will select the big/small milk from the supermarket fridge.
She communicates very clearly by pointing and gestures, and we wonder if she does not feel the need to talk. She is very expressive and uses her whole body and face to get the message accross. She can blow kisses and makes a lip smacking sound for milk, and shakes her head for no. She grunts and makes an oof sound, possibly for cat.
On the eating front, she mostly just has milk. She is offered food but just plays with it, though she very occasionally eats.

Thank you for all the reassuring stories. santapaws sorry you are going through this too, I'm sure he will say mummy soon

A good way to start is to try to get them to copy you when she points, ask her to say what it is and choose something she can do without i.e. a toy like a doll/car which aren't difficult to say. Don't give it to her until she attempts to copy the word iyswim. This has been done lots with children who choose not to speak with success. i.e. she wants to go on the swing and points to it. Say what is it? Its a swing? Say swing? If she doesn't try then don't put her in. She sounds like she has no incentive to talk iyswim. Does she have an older sibling?

santapaws YES any sound or words he is saying with a consistent meaning is a word.

DS1 used to say something bizarre for dog but it clearly meant dog to him so it was a word.

Just reinforce "ce-ce? Oh do you want some juice?" etc as much as you can.

thinagamjg that sounds more worrying to me about the eating that the talking, as she clearly can hear and is not on autistic spectrum I would say if she points and communicates as you say. (Hearing and ASD are main worries re not talking at 2).

But not eating, only drinking milk, is notgood for her at this age and yes, will not help her speech (muscle development etc).

Is she seeing a paed for the eating issue?

It does sound as though she would benefit from a referral to either a dietitian or speech and language therapist for a feeding assessment (or preferrably a multi-disciplinary team).

Is she given a lot of milk which would fill her up so that she does not have an appetite?

What happens when you do not give her milk? Does she attempt to eat more food?

What sort of foods does she eat when she does eat something i.e. are they a range of textures? - things that require chewing.

Is she developmentally on target in other areas? Physical/ fine motor..

Santa - re the rude comments - this may be a moment to exploit the popular Einstein myth and say "yep, looks like I'm going to be stuck with a littl Einstein".
This will intimidate and silence the competitive parents.
Meanwhile privately you can, as you say, just see whether speech therapy would help him along.
What's the month of birth? Is school entry a factor here?
Have you heard about the "It talkes two to talk" book which I reckon is the most recommended book on the special needs board? It's so great because it has this great can-do attitude, no comparisons, no milestone charts and is also realistic - after all, you probably could have had 200 hours of speech therapy and you'd still have spoken at 3 and no sooner!

DH and clary, thanks for that. To be absolutely honest, I dont know that much about the specifics; I'm not that close to SIL as they live a long way from us. This thread was prompted by my mum who looks after her 1 day a week, though I know she doesnt eat/talk at home with her parents either.
I know that my mum is worried about saying things to her; as santapaws says its no fun to have people going on at you about your childs development. Any ideas on how to convey this? Is there a 2 yo check that the HV does like with little babies?
Also is it a possibility that she has something physically wrong with her jaw etc?

I think most GPs no longer do 2yr check but if you have any worries you can ask the HV.

Is yr SIL not concerned about the eating? It's not (ahem) normal for a 2yo to ingest mothing but milk. And certainly not healthy for her.

If it was me I'd be at the doc's pushing for a paed referral. But it's tricky for you or yr mum to raise it if SIL doesn't see it as an issue...

sorry nothing not mothing.

My friend's dd is the same and they were waiting to see a ENT specialist later this month. bear in mind though it has taken 9 months to see someone.

Have no concerns for you over speech. Varying rates of development. Perfectly normal. Eating however is an issue, one that needs to be fixed very soon if she's to avoid undernourishment.

CUT the milk, can do either cold turkey (morning/evening 6 oz only) or gradually, but it needs to go. Milk is very filling, fills up those tummies quickly and is comforting. I'm sure your friend's DD sees milk as a comforter at this stage. Also, if she is given food and plays with it, let her. Exploring texture, smell, look is all necessary before they actually eat it.

We had food issues with eldest, but none of others. Weirdly, eldest was earliest to talk of all mine. DD2 (nearly 4) still doesn't speak but we've been assured it's more that she's a 3rd child in a family with 2 very talkative, expressive older children who 'speak for her' most of the time. She's also painfully shy. She says a few things 'mummy, daddy, baby, yummy' - mostly things that end in '-y'. We haven't taken her to speech therapist and don't plan on it unless she gets to full time school and it interferes.

I have got thinking about this and several things have come together that concern me. I suspect that SIL is cautious about approaching HV because of the can of worms that it may open.

She (my SIL) smokes a lot of cannabis, as does my brother. Their relationship is turbulent, sometimes its all rosy, sometimes he is chucked out of the house. SIL comes from a very messed up family (dad dead, mother has MH problems. When my niece was 6 months old SIL's arm was broken in an altercation between her and my brother. My brother has been given a black eye by her. I have no information that there has been any violence between them in the last 18 months, but I live four hours drive away. My mother sees my niece every week, but sometimes does not speak to/see DB and SIL all week. There is never a mark on her, and she is a very happy easy going child. I have always seen them to be good parents with her.

I have no doubt that my niece is physically well looked after but given the problems that she is showing maybe the emotional side is more affected by her family situation than we thought?

I don't know what to do. I think I need to do something but what? I live so far away, I have my own baby and my husbands family who need looking after. I have depression and an uneasy relationship with my mother, who lives so much closer to them.

If they are good parents then they will have it checked out. If there is something wrong only time will tell. If nothing is wrong then same. It may be something that cannot be treated anyway. It could be nothing and she may just start speaking. I would look into the eating problem though. The lack of nutrition will show more so than anything else and eventually she will have to see a doctor and they will note any problems so best to try to see about it now IMO.

My DD was like this. We followed this up on the advice of a cousin who is a speach therapist. She pointed out that if nothing was wrong, it wouldn't do any harm, but if there was, we would be ahead of the game.
She was just dreadfully self conscious and we got her talking through her soft toys...(ie, 'what does bear want to drink?' and she loved talking for them). Even at 6 now she does loads of role play with her soft toys.....and never shuts up!

With the food, I accepted she was a 'grazer', and preferred little and often.

The other issues you raised will almost certainly have an impact and sadly I am not sure what you can do about this.

Thank you for your advice, I am really not sure what I can realistically do, and whether it is any of my business anyway. I will relay the advice that she should go to GP/HV and ask for a referral, but I am concerned about all of it.