Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Does your 3yr old drive you to distraction?

43 replies

Belgianchox · 14/11/2008 07:31

Because mine does on a regular basis, and much as I adore her, this morning I just lost it with her, screeched at her that she was driving me insane and would she please please just put her shoes on and let me do her hair sob. I feel like i'm going slightly mad, really, I would never lay a finger on her, but god does she infuriate me. I know it's not good to let a 3yr old to have the upper hand, but I really feel like she's pushing my buttons on purpose, and everyday almost it's the same. I'm 16wks pregnant with Nbr3, which I suppose doesn't help. I don't want to carry on like this....I feel like crap, and I'l sure DD does too, she's a sensitive little thing, and it really gets to her when we row.
How do you keep a lid on things when you're kids are getting on top of you?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Acinonyx · 14/11/2008 10:20

Oh yes. When she does the siren wailing thing I tell her it makes my brain melt and leave the room. I do her hair to her favourite TV show - she has masses of curly hair. Maybe I should just shave it all off....

Shoes is always a tricky one - funy that eh? I ask her WHERE she wants to put her shoes on - at the moment she insists on sitting on the sofa. But at least it gets the shoes on. Except this morning she insisted on wellies. And then didn't want to leave the house and started wailing. So there we are at the car, dd wailing for all my neighbours to see what an evil mother I am

Original poster

Belgianchox · 14/11/2008 12:58

They're a nightmare aren't they? My DD has masses of curls too, I have to brush it or she looks like a scarecrow, but I am very tempted to just whip the scissors out one day! In fact yesterday I did just cut one knot out, it's just not worth the grief....
As for shoes, well she will put them on, but under her terms, ie when she wants, when she's done xyz, etc etc. It's totally draining.

OP posts:

Acinonyx · 14/11/2008 13:10

The terms and conditions can become very challenging!

I definiteley need to get her to a hairdresser. It's just wild - but I'm not really looking forward to getting it trimmed...if she's not in the mood for it...

MrsFreedy · 14/11/2008 14:05

.... and I thought you were talking about my dd for the minute. She often drives me to distraction and I am not pregnant.

I find that good old fashioned bribery does the trick especially when I am trying to get both DD and DS (I have twins) out of the house for school in the am!

rusmum · 14/11/2008 14:50

me too!! just part of being 3 (now 4)!!

Original poster

Belgianchox · 14/11/2008 16:50

There was I thinking that 4 would be the age of reason.......

OP posts:

Mrsmope · 14/11/2008 17:02

You are not alone. After getting through the terrible two's without a hitch was feeling rather smug, but now at the age of three and a half my dd is turning into a bit of a brat. It tends to happen when she's tired but turns into a battle as when trying the sit on the stairs method I end up wrestling with her up to 50 times and she still won't give in. She is extremely strong willed and it seems like the littlest thing can turn into an hour long tantrum. Any suggestions on how to resolve this as she is almost as strong as me and don't think I will be able to carry her to the stairs much longer!!!

MorocconOil · 14/11/2008 17:09

I so know what you mean. My DD age 3 is refusing to wear a coat at the moment and insists on choosing her own clothes. I've stopped trying to battle with her over it, so she now goes out in the most obscure looking outfits.
She is also poorly ATM probably because she's got chilled from not wearing a coat. She is even more demanding than usual, and cries whenever she can't get her own way. I am worn out and near the very end of my tether.

My way of dealing with the situation has been to take her out places where she can be kept busy, and distracted from getting into battles with me. C-Beebies also helps.

katiek123 · 14/11/2008 17:25

belgianchox (yum)- i am still in recovery from my DD being 3 (and, sorry girls, 4), she is now the grand old age of 7 but it seems like yesterday i was tearing my hair out over her behaviour (oh GOD the SHOES thing...) every single day. the very very most challenging age IMHO. a friend was telling me at the weekend how much she was loving this stage (she has a placid blonde angel child) and i had to explain that in our house we still shuddered at the mention of the 'three' stage!! gets better, honest!!

MorocconOil · 14/11/2008 17:34

Hi Katiek. Thought I might see you on this thread . Hope DD's fully recovered now.

Belgian choc- I sometimes bribe reward DD by saying 'when you get your shoes on, you can choose a sticker'. I went and bought a load of stickers out of desperation yesterday. They are doing the trick (for now).No doubt the novelty will wear out.

brimfull · 14/11/2008 17:36

my ds was a complete little shit at 3

very hard to please and a moaner,testing me all the time

he turned into gorgeous child at about 4.5 I think

tis a phase.

Anna8888 · 14/11/2008 17:37

I had this with my DD (who turned 4 on Sunday) for a while. She would start squeaking at me.

I got very firm and said that if she was going to squeak, she had to do it in her bedroom with the door shut as it was driving me insane. After three warnings I would pick her up and put her in her bedroom.

She has learnt not to squeak and regularly tells me that "when we squeak we must go in our bedrooms".

Sometimes I shout at her when she is faffing in the morning. She hates me shouting and tells me so. So we are having discussions about why I occasionally shout...

milkysallgone · 14/11/2008 19:54

Oh yes I've had a particularly trying day with dd (almost 4). We had sitting on the floor at the play area screaming the place down because she didn't want to leave; it took 20 mins and some man-handling and a lot of tears and shouting from her, me, and dh before she would get in the bath. It's bloody exhausting at the moment.

It's sooo hard to remain calm in the face of such fury! Dd will not be reprimanded and basically turns any telling off into a full blown ruck.

MorocconOil · 14/11/2008 19:57

Just a thought about 3-4 year old DC becoming difficult. Could it be that they are ready for a bit more structure and stimulation that school nurseries provide?

denbury · 14/11/2008 19:58

please don't tell me it's the same as when they are 2. i'm just of to cry!!! i thought when ds2 turned 3 last week troublesome 2 would be a thing of the past.(ds1 is no angle but compared to ds2 he might as well be god!!)

milkysallgone · 14/11/2008 19:59

Sorry to burst your bubble denbury - but the day of the 'threenager' has dawned.

milkysallgone · 14/11/2008 20:02

Well my dd does 4 half days at a pre-school nursery. I think it's a sort of toddler puberty, where they cross over into being a child iyswim?

clemette · 14/11/2008 20:05

Snap to Mrs mope - we were also very smug about no tantrums at two - now we have complete refusal to comply with anything at 3.5. Laughingly said to DH earlier that she is just not "scared of us" so we are a bit of a loss but are hoping to weather then storm.
In our case mimizan she has already been in nursery for most of her life. It is reassuring to me that they all go through it whether their mums work outside of the home or not...

MorocconOil · 14/11/2008 20:28

Clemette, I said school nursery because IME it tends to be more structured than day nurseries where the focus is more on caring, than learning IYKWIM. DD is at a morning playgroup where the focus is on learning through play. At school they do this, but also introduce phonics, simple numeracy. I believe DD is ready to move on a stage, and part of the more difficult behaviour is because she's a bit frustrated.

clemette · 14/11/2008 22:05

Maybe that is the case here. But she does structured reading, French, numeracy etc at her day nursery. Part of me wishes she could go to school but we have got over a year before she can enter reception...
In all honesty, I don't think it is lack of being stretched as she is constantly on the go. In our case I think she just gets exhausted but will never, ever submit to a rest

Original poster

Belgianchox · 15/11/2008 11:17

I have 4 in sight, in February, I'm fully expecting a change for the better!

OP posts:

Mrsmope · 17/11/2008 13:01

Glad to hear that I'm not the only one with a troublesome threenager. To be honest she doesn't go into a rage that often but when she does it is a real battle of wills and even when she has calmed down she is really reluctant to apologise.

RubyRioja · 17/11/2008 13:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

annoyingdevil · 17/11/2008 13:58

I have a number of different bribes. During the day, it's fairly easy. No nursery, trips out etc. if she doesn't put coat,shoes on NOW. (fortunately, she loves nursery)

Bedtime - No story unless you get up the stairs NOW (also works for teeth brushing, face washing etc)

Tidying toys - put those away NOW or they go in the bin.

In more desperate moments, I have been known to resort to the 'chocolate bribe'.

DesperateHousewifeToo · 17/11/2008 14:30

Oh, the tidying up....!

Have just had the excuse (dd is 3) that she could not tidy up because her hand wouldn't work.

In the past, she could not tidy up because her bottom was tired and couldn't go up the stairs because her leg wouldn't work!

Flip

1 2