Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Another kid hurt mine

71 replies

ManishaKo · 01/10/2008 16:05

Hi-

I was at a friends home with my 3 1/2 year old on a play date. My son gets along great with my friends 4 year old girl, but the last time we had her over she would not let my son play with his own toys and also would not clean up when I asked her to, she threw some toys around. Couple of times I have caught my son pushing /trying to shove her and have corrected him. This time I saw him coming bounding into a room and this girl pushed him and he fell hitting his head on the coffee table and we immediately went over to take charge of the situiation. My friend did not act too concerned, she showed some and then proceeded to discipline her daughter who also started crying and apologized, but I am a doctor and I saw visions of him falling over and breaking his neck and was very upset so I went home. I was expecting my friend to call later that day but she did not. The next day when she did not call by noon, I completely lost it and called her up and started venting, I told her about how I have seen her daughter behave badly more than once and how she had hurt my son without any provocation and how she ( my friend ) dismissed the whole incident and did not seem to care too much about what happened to my son and how I thought their atmosphere at home was causing this type of behaviour and all that. My friend first was calm and she told me that she had seen my son push her daughter down before this happened and I had not seen it. I called her a liar and she also started yelling and then hung up. She then wrote me an email apologizing about not showing the requisite amount of concern and also apologized on behalf of her daughter but put a line in there telling me how she would not stand by and have me talk down her kid and her family and terminated the friendship. Her husband called me the next day to ask if our son was doing alright and again I told him how I thought his daughter was was on a downward slide and called his wife a liar again, he did not respond to that ( he's a nice guy ) telling me that he did not want to get into all that just wanting to know if my son was ok.

Did I over-react ? I need some validation here from people who may have been in similar situitations.

OP posts:

Tamarto · 01/10/2008 16:13

My eldest was pushed off his bed and cut his head open enough to be glued back together, I would never dream of acting in this way towards my friend who's DD pushed him.

You said you've stopped your DS pushing her DD, there but for the grace of god eh?

CarGirl · 01/10/2008 16:13

Is this someone who is actually the friend reporting on what her dd has been called etc?

Kewclotter · 01/10/2008 16:14

Has your son really got to 3 1/2 wihtout pushing anyone over before or being pushed over

You're a doctor and you can't cope with a small bump on the head

You repeatedly caled your (ex) friend a liar

Ummm, yes I think you over-reacted hugely.

You sound unusually anxious.

If on the other hand your friends DD is a 4 year old ASBO waiting to happen, just don't so much time with them.

saintvicsta · 01/10/2008 16:14

Errrm...... yes. I think you had every right to be upset but she did discipline her girl, and apologise - more than once. Don't see what more she could have done in all honesty.

UniversallyChallenged · 01/10/2008 16:15

Why do you feel a child should not show agression when you have to your former friend?

A doctor - methinks not lol for trying it on though

mankyscotslass · 01/10/2008 16:15

Total over reaction. Sounds like your friend did what she should have tbh, and it was nice of her husband to call and check on him.
It's not nice having your dc hurt, I know that, all of mine having been pushed or shoved or been the pusher at some point. Pushing or shoving is totally normal behaviour for this age group.
You have probably lost your friend over what is an everday normal occurence. (which it sounds like she handled better than you)

charchargabor · 01/10/2008 16:17

Yeah I think this is a wind up too. Nice try

Kewclotter · 01/10/2008 16:17

are ou really a doctor? A proper one with a certificate saying you can practice medicine? Not a Doctor of philospohy or something?

(just curious)

Kewclotter · 01/10/2008 16:18

the more I think about it the more I agree it must be a wind up. No-one can be this precious - surely...

Marne · 01/10/2008 16:18

I'm sure your son is fine and has forgotton about it by now, kids push each other, its not nice to see your child being pushed butr it happens.

Dd's friend pushed dd of her bike, dd hit her leg and face on the pavement, i was'nt happy with the way her mother (my friend) handled it but we are still friends. kids do these things, dont they?

Weegle · 01/10/2008 16:18

I wonder if the OP actually happened to this person in reverse??? ie. she is the mum of the girl? And she's wanting to know if she handled it correctly. Either that or a load of baloney because to anyone rational it's clear the mother of the boy has seriously over-reacted.

YeahBut · 01/10/2008 16:19

Not only did you overreact, you behaved very badly towards your ex-friend and her dh.
Her child shoved yours. She apologised to you and your son and then disciplined her daughter. What more did you want her to do, beat her?
God, I try so hard to be reasonable on MN but I just can't here. FGS, get a grip.

Flossish · 01/10/2008 16:21

I don't usually post this but today I will

Troll.

Slouchy · 01/10/2008 16:21

Is this real? If so, OP, you are a loon.

Saturn74 · 01/10/2008 16:22

I don't believe you.
And I usually believe everyone.

SmugColditz · 01/10/2008 16:26

Oh Hell yeah, you have seriously over reacted, and if you are a doctor surely you know you are suffering undue anxiety?

You've lost a friend, you've lost your son a playmate, curb your temper before you start causing your son to lose all his friends.

hifi · 01/10/2008 16:26

i dont belive shes a doctor.

MrsMertle · 01/10/2008 16:26

You are unreal!

I'm not surprised she wanted to end her friendship with you.

Kids push and fall out. How she handled it was fine. You on the other hand need committing to a mental institute.

dittany · 01/10/2008 16:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Twiglett · 01/10/2008 16:30

it was a good wind-up though

DisasterArea · 01/10/2008 16:52

Doctor of bullshite perhaps? i knw a few of those

psychomum5 · 01/10/2008 16:58

troll alert here me thinks

Tolalola · 01/10/2008 16:59

This has got to be a joke - surely nobody would over-react that badly?

As for 'requisite amount of concern' - what on earth would you expect? Would hysterics from the girl's mother, making a not-very-bad situation worse and completely winding the kids up have constituted 'requisite concern'?

How peculiar.

cory · 01/10/2008 17:03

I am with CarlGirl: were you actually not the doctor but the other Mum?

I'd still say the same- massive overreaction. If another woman did this to you (after appropriate disciplining/apologies etc as described)- then you are well shot of her.

lucyellensmum1 · 01/10/2008 17:03

Trip trap trip trap - whoooooos that trip trapping over MY bridge!!!

Flip

1 2 3