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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

when does people put their baby in cot in own room

32 replies

hollygiz1 · 01/10/2008 09:05

my daughter is 13 weeks and is with us in room she has outgrown her moses so were thinking to put her in travel cot, some people keep telling us to put her in her own room but im not sure i want to do this yet just wondered what others did, she still wants her dummy through night and cant grip it v well so im always putting that in so think i would just be up all the time

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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belgo · 01/10/2008 09:10

Do what you feel is best. The official advice is to keep the baby in your bedroom until they are six months old.

I kept my first baby in with us until she was 1 year.

mummyloveslucy · 01/10/2008 09:55

I was advised ASAP. I think she was 6 months. (or just grown out of her moses basket).
She took to it well and has always been a fantastic sleeper.
Good Luck.

america · 01/10/2008 10:00

DS slept in his room from birth. He was BF so meant that I had to get up several times a night though. You do whatever feels right for you!

georgimama · 01/10/2008 10:01

Will her cot not fit in your room?

DS was in moses basket until 10 weeks, then in his cot in our room until just shy of six months old.

WhereTheWildThingsWere · 01/10/2008 10:04

Dd is in bed with us (7m)

Ds is in own bed in our room (4y)

The SIDS prevention guidelines reccomend they stay in your room until they are 6 months old.

Do what feels right for you.

Original poster

hollygiz1 · 01/10/2008 10:10

thanks everyone i thought so its just some people like to say stuff i suppose but im going to do what i want she is my daughter

OP posts:

Original poster

hollygiz1 · 01/10/2008 10:11

no dont think cot will fit, do you think travel cot is ok

OP posts:

Pinchypants · 01/10/2008 10:28

Hi Holly,
I must admit that DD was in her own room at four weeks old (Moses basket in her cot) and DS is now six weeks old and has been in there since he was two weeks old. I know the guidelines say six months is ideal to be in with you, I think so their erratic breathing is regulated by hearing you breathe (?), but I have incredibly noisy children and even when they were fast asleep, DH and I were just lying there and losing our minds with lack of sleep, even with earplugs. I decided that given that we are following every other SIDS recommendation to the letter, it was best for them to be in the nursery next to our bedroom instead of right by my ear. Not sure how we would have managed when they outgrew basket anyway, as absolutely no room for cot in our room. Also, I reasoned that since they are both in their rooms for most naptimes and I'm not with them constantly then, it was no different to them sleeping there at night as well. Another thing was that when mine woke properly for a feed in the night, I was picking them up in the dark and going into the nursery anyway to sit in nursing chair with light and radio so I didn't disturb DH who has long drive round M25 in the morning and needs to sleep so I don't worry about him as well! Seemed less hazardous to not be carting baby round in the dark, really.
I know this is controversial and it is absolutely what suits you and what you feel comfortable with. A guideline is just that - not a prescription. I have friends who have had LOs in their own room from birth, and others who still have LO in with them at 18 months old - no-one can make that decision but you.

daisydora · 01/10/2008 10:32

DD was about 8 wks, put her moses basket in her cot.

TBH we both slept better as I didn't hear her every snuffle, or jump to put dummy back in with every whimper which was what was happening. I was BF so still had to get up to her but she soon settled back down and I felt my sleeps inbetweenfeeds were a better quality iyswim.

It's up to you, whatever suits and feels right

englishspringer · 01/10/2008 10:48

I have two boys - both in with us for 7mths - i used to put them to bed in thier cot in their own room and then move them once asleep so that they did not get used ot sleeping in our room (so to speak) - at first they move around, grunt, groan etc. but grobags work wonders!
i have colleagues who i work with who were concerned that the baby was listening to their nocternal activities - i now ask my 5 year old if he remembers so and so from nursery 1 year ago and he doesn't so i am sure he doesn't have memories of us!
I would move her when you are comfy - there is not right or wrong it is purely your own choice - if you are not comfortable then don't do it. i was just paranoid about cot death

peachsmuggler · 01/10/2008 10:56

I'm a bit confused about why people don't follow the guideline to keep your baby in your room till 6 motnhs. If someone asked if they should put their baby to sleep on their front, or whether or not they should allow people to smoke in the house, would people say "follow your own instinct", or "whatever you feel is right". Sorry, not having a go at anyone, just curious as to why this SIDS guideline is often ignored, when the others aren't?

Original poster

hollygiz1 · 01/10/2008 11:23

i know what you mean thats why i didnt want to why is it that they tell you to keep baby in room with you

OP posts:

Haylstones · 01/10/2008 11:28

6 months at least imo.
Dd stayed in our room for 9 months and ds is still there now at 7 months with no immediate plans to move him.

MrsMattie · 01/10/2008 11:31

We had DS in with us (in a moses basket and then a cot) until he was 7 months old and we realised we were waking him up with all our tossing and turning and DH's snoring . I would have kept him in longer, but Dh thought I was being a bit silly.

CoteDAzur · 01/10/2008 11:34

DD was in her room at 4 months. It worked great for us. There was a camera/babyphone pointed at her, so we could hear if she cried, coughed, or gurgled.

peachsmuggler · 01/10/2008 11:38

hollygiz1 - The theory is that your breathing helps regulate that of the baby's. I kept my baby in the same room for 6 months for that reason.

Original poster

hollygiz1 · 01/10/2008 11:55

think ill def keep her in with us now thanks

OP posts:

unclefluffy · 01/10/2008 12:00

I've spent twenty minutes (not long I admit) looking for evidence. This BMJ page doesn't even mention a link with room-sharing.

We're talking about 300 SIDS deaths a year now in the UK. The cause isn't known - there are some correlations, though. Rates fell when people were advised to put their babies on their backs to sleep. The advice on smoking makes sense not just on SIDS, but on other conditions (i.e. asthma). Keeping your child at the right temperature and not letting their face get covered is common sense and doesn't make life difficult (although it might make you nervous if you have a wriggly baby!).

Keeping your baby in your room CAN make things difficult for parents - rooms are small, babies wake up when parents snore etc etc. And after you've done everything else, it seems a little bit like fiddling round the edges - especially when evidence is not readily available.

People don't follow the dummy advice either: www.fsid.org.uk/dummies.html But then the evidence is newer and still under evaluation, so maybe that makes sense. It takes a while for good practice to spread.

I have to say, it makes me crazy when the govt gives advice and doesn't provide good evidence. (So don't get me started on drinking alcohol in pregnancy!)

countrylover · 01/10/2008 13:12

Our DS went into his own room at 6 weeks - shock, horror. For the same reasons as everyone else, we were all waking eachother up with our snores, snuffles, gurgles. Oh and the lack of space, we could barely get in and out of the door!

However we had one of those breathing monitors which sets off an alarm if it doesn't detect any movement. (They're really sensitive so basically if baby stops breathing you know about it.)

I'm not sure I would have done it so early if we didn't have one of those though.

Karathraceandherspecialdestiny · 01/10/2008 13:24

5 weeks with dd1 and we all slept so much better for it. Will see how it goes when have dc2 but I imagine that s/he will go in own room from a few weeks. Like another poster said, i have and will follow every other SIDS guideline to the letter. We have got an angelcare breathing monitor as well though.

mamadiva · 01/10/2008 13:28

My ds wnt into his room at a year old.

charchargabor · 01/10/2008 13:35

DD's still in my room at 14 months. She's a terrible sleeper and I don't want to be running to another room to get her, especially when it's cold. I will be moving her over the next few months though (been saying that for 6 months now!)

mytetherisending · 01/10/2008 13:36

I say when you are ready.
SIDS advice is for 6mths at least.
My own prefewrence was dd1 6wks
dd2 12wks, I just felt that we would all sleep better in our own rooms and wouldn't disturb each other so much. I think the more awareness they have when they move, the more difficult the transition and settling into it imho.

OLIVIASMAMA · 01/10/2008 13:40

About 12 weeks, DD out grew her moses basket too so was put in her own room, she is a great sleeper and always has been. Must admit I was up and down like a yo yo for the first couple of weeks checking her though!

Do what you feel most comfortable with.

mytetherisending · 01/10/2008 13:44

The room sharing and regulating breathing is not proven. It is only relevant if you are actually sharing the bed and your face is close enough to the newborn to increase the surrounding co2 concentration. The Krebbs cycle is triggered by highered co2 concentrations in the blood, the baby breathing in or co2 diffusing into its lungs from the parents breathing out can potentially stimulate breathing. Obviously there may be some increase in surrounding co2 levels when both parents in the room are exhaling, however, whether this is enough to stimulate breathing has not been proven.

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