This is bloody horrific! My life is ruled by a 3 year old

[louise301]

Sorry this is a bit of a rant. Just had another bad day with dd3, infact at the moment every day seems to be bad. The constant whining, moaning, crying, tantrums and demands for attention bring me and my dh down. I know all children are demanding but compared to my friends, my dd seems to be spirited to say the least. Everything is so hard. Sometimes I feel I'd rather someone shoot me in the head rather than endure another hour of pretending to eat food (in the form of soil) that shes prepared in the garden! Its got to the point where I am desperately craving my old life. I dream about being able to go out for a meal without having to spend every minute of it placating a headstrong child, I dream of nipping to the shops without contending with a screaming child who wont sit in her pushchair and most of all I miss peace and quiet. People tell me you get used to knowing you can never have your old life again but I seriously dont think I ever will. Was reading a thread on the conception board about women who are desperate for a baby and I feel so sad, I got pregnant easily and yet dont seem to enjoy motherhood much. My quesion really is this, is it normal to feel like this? Dont think I am depressed, never felt like this before I had a baby, just wish I could get over the longing for my old life.

if you don't like going through the argos catalogue with her - hide the argos catalogue!

God, the argos catelogue thing reminds me of when dd wanted me to tell her the make of every single parked car we passed while out walking. I thought it was quite cute for the first 5 minutes but by the time I got home I was a gibbering wreck .

That's the trouble with 3 years olds isn't it? They are so bloody cute that you go along with their ridiculous demands because you think "Aw, she looks so sweet asking that" and before you know it you're hiding from a gruffalo in a Princess Castle constructed from 4 chairs and a sheet while wearing a home-made paper crown .

freakypenguin- argos catalogue has been hidden!! DD's latest new game is asking the colour of every person we see when we're out and about. At first I thought she meant skin colour but then she proceeded to tell me certain people are pink, blue and purple. Half wondered whether she has psychic tendencies and was reading peoples auras! Far fetched I know but couldnt think of another reason espeically as "pink" people dont wear any obvous pink clothing etc!

I am also sitting here drinking the wine after another tricky day with dd. Today was better in that I tried some of the tactics recommened here and some of them seemed to work, hurrah! Several times dd barked out an order for me to get a teddy from her room and I stood firm, and gently told her she could get it herself. In the past I'd have been running into her room to get it. Eventually, when she realised I wasnt going to change my mind she went and got the teddy herself. Small victories....!

fabulous louise! be a little bit firmer tomorrow and so on and so on

it WILL get easier and you will get happier!

Have you thought that you could actually too GOOD a mum for your own good ?

you need to learn to be a bit more negligent!

I have 4 DCS and it does get easier....until they are teenagers

Some children will always manage to invent demands. After I recycled the Argos catalogue, DS developed other obsessions (like asking me how many minutes and seconds each track lasted on whatever CD we were listening to; counting to several thousand in one sitting; and other similarly tedious pursuits).

DD and her My Little Ponies is a doddle by comparison!

Liath's quote: "Aw, she looks so sweet asking that" and before you know it you're hiding from a gruffalo in a Princess Castle constructed from 4 chairs and a sheet while wearing a home-made paper crown hmm." should surely go in the weekly email round-up..... Very funny and I know that feeling.

Louise - well done on the little victories today.

One more thing: if your daughter barks at you to get her something, you could do more than gently tell her to get it herself. If you don't correct the way she asks for things, she will think it is fine to speak to others like this and she will be surprised when they don't like it.

DD would bark imperious orders all day long if I let her. I say 'use your nice voice' or 'how do you ask for things?' or 'that's not how you get what you want' and she has to speak to me properly. It is hard work but she is learning and it is so much more pleasant to be with a reasonably polite three year old than one who wants to order you around.

BTW my DD is adopted and came to us at 2.8 months with some fairly difficult habits, including sitting on the sofa and simply yelling for what she wanted. We have gradually made lots of changes and that is why I am sure you can do the same with your DD. You have to teach her the behaviour you would like to see her using with other people as well as yourselves.

In the long run she and you will be happier for it.

two tips - send her to nursery at least one more morning a week when you aren't at work. You can get 5 morning sessions free now. Secondly, start doing playdates. Horrible word but great. You have a friend's three year old girl to play with your dd and then she returns teh favour. IME three year old girls are really, really sociable. You really don't have to play with her all the time.

notanotter - i loved your suggestion that being too GOOD a mother might be the problem!! i took a conscious decision to be a little shabbier on the mothering front a while back a little less doting, patient, slave-like - did us ALL a load of good!