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Original poster

Does your 6 year old know how babies are made?

58 replies

DrNortherner · 26/09/2008 17:18

Ds has been coming home from school with incorrect info (playground chatter I think)

Yesterday he said "To make a baby you have to know the F word don't you?" he didn't know what teh F word was and asked me.

So, off I go to the library today to get a book aimed at kids on the reproductive system. I had a quick flick through and had a bit of a wobble at the penis goes into vagina bit. Is he too young to know this?

Anyway, we get home from school, ds finds the book and flicks through it himself, howling at the pictures of willy's, vagina's and bottoms.

Which makes me think he is too immature.

What do your kids know?

OP posts:
LadyGlencoraPalliser · 26/09/2008 21:33

Another thing to remember, speaking from my own experience here, is that around 11-12 a lot of children tend to find the whole topic of sex a bit gross. It is much easier for them to process the information when they are young enough to find it fascinating rather than squirm-inducingly embarrassing.

sherby · 26/09/2008 21:40

my 3 yr old dd knows

mummy has eggs inside her, daddy has seeds, when mummy and daddys love each other they have a special cuddle and the egg and seed join up and make a baby

this is in response to her questions, she doesn't know anything about periods yet beause I am still bfing so no san pro or anything around

at 6 I would want her to know

Martha200 · 26/09/2008 22:30

My ds (5) knows, I used the mummy laid an egg book when I was pregnant, he was fine with that, though I was surprised somewhat when he came home recently and asked me if ds2 had come out from my bottom (he was a section) he would have come from one of the three bottom holes wouldn't he.. now I did not ever cover that! (playground talk, seem to be going through what is correct or not a lot lately with ds)

Buda · 27/09/2008 07:23

As and when DS asks I will tell him. He hasn't asked yet really. And it will be me telling him. DH will be useless!

Buda · 27/09/2008 07:24

Actually DS wasn't made the traditional way! He is an IVF baby so we will have to tell him that too. God.

2sugars · 27/09/2008 07:43

Bloody hell. Just read the OP but I hope my 10 year old doesn't know how babies are made. I read a Ladybird book at about 11 years old called 'Your Body' and asked my sister (7 years my senior) what a vagina was. Was mortified when I worked it all out.

seeker · 27/09/2008 07:49

2sugars - why do you hope your 10 year old doesn't know?

Buda · 27/09/2008 08:36

I will be telling DS before he is 10 I think. (Maybe the day before!) - seriously I thing that is about when they really start talking about it in the playground etc.

2sugars · 27/09/2008 08:41

seeker, because she will be squeamish about it. Agree with Buda, she probably knows more than I think she does.

edam · 27/09/2008 08:44

Mine's known about egg, sperm and all that since he was two-ish, IIRC. I'd bought a copy of Mummy Lays An Egg from the charity shop for when he was older, but he found it and wanted to read it. Found the whole thing hilarious.

Currently, at age five, he intends to marry his friend Tara and have 16 babies. By then, he reckons, there will be robots 'with lots of arms' who can help them look after all their children.

Buda · 27/09/2008 08:45

lol at robots edam!

My DS is never getting married! Ever! Cos then you have to kiss on the lips and that is disguuuuuussssting! God help him when he knows what really happens!

edam · 27/09/2008 08:46

My mother, btw, had me drawing diagrams of the female reproductive system when I was three. She'd not long graduated in zoology.

luckylady74 · 27/09/2008 09:22

Buda - interesting question re ivf as all my 3 are ivf and I have wondered when to bring that up - I don't particularly want to tell them the woes of my womb!

2sugars · 27/09/2008 09:26

Hijack - WWB, where have you been, and how are you, lovely?

cory · 27/09/2008 09:34

southeastastra on Fri 26-Sep-08 21:02:20
"what advantage is in their knowing? "

To me, the advantage is the same as them knowing about how potatoes grow in the ground and the lifestyle of Amazonian catfish and the reasons behind the battle of Hastings: it is part of life's rich tapestry and as such a positive thing. I never miss a teaching opportunity if I can help it.

But more importantly, I want them to have a basic understanding of what happens to their bodies at puberty and I want them to know that they can discuss these things with me and won't rely on a garbled version from the playground. The problem behind garbled versions is that they can have disastrous results. If you have never checked what your 14yo knows about these matters, southeastastra- how do you know that she doesn't believe that you can't get pregnant if you do it standing up (a common belief among teenagers apparently) or that you can get pregnant through French kissing. Think about the implications...

I also think it is a good protection against early experimentation if they are armed against taunts of ignorance. An awful lot of teenage pregnancies happen because girls (and boys) feel embarrassed about their own ignorance and need to prove themselves in action.

A good reason for talking before they are 10, 2sugars, is that more and more girls start puberty around this time. My dd did, and I am glad that she had had years of calm natural unexcited talk about physical matters so it did not hit her as a dreadful shock. And I was glad that I had talked to her when she was younger and, as LadyGlencora points out, less shockeable.

This does not mean that you have to discuss the technicalities of sex in intimate detail with your 6yo. They don't need to know how to actually perform; they just need a general outline. 'Special cuddle' is fine for this age.

CapricaSix · 27/09/2008 09:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Doctorpuss · 27/09/2008 09:45

5 n a bit, and no she doesn't.

She hasn't asked, most likely will do as/when I get pregnant again.

She did ask how babies got out of mummy's tummy. She ain't convinced "But that would hurt "..... No sh*t sherlock?!

Then again she also isn't having any of it that chicken (food) and chickens (birds) are the same... she seems to think you get chicken trees.

Friendlypizzaeater · 27/09/2008 16:19

My just 6yr LO is ISCI and we've just told him mummy and daddy had bits that didn't work properly and we had told see a doctor to help make him.

Acebabes do a couple of books that explain it for them as well.

GobbledigookisThrifty · 27/09/2008 16:40

Ds1 does - he is 7.
Ds2 pretty much does - he is almost 6.
Ds3 - well, he was also there when it was explained but I don't know if he took it in - he is just 4.

Ds1 has asked questions for a while and he was quizzing us while we having a drink outside a bar on holiday so dh thought he might aswell tell him straight! He just took it all in like any other fact really.

GobbledigookisThrifty · 27/09/2008 16:45

I mean - they know how the egg and the sperm get to meet each other! They know how babies get out etc.

The only thing they don't know about is periods - I don't hide sanitary stuff but they've just never asked what they are.

Friendlypizzaeater · 27/09/2008 16:56

Mummys nappies = towels

nooka · 27/09/2008 16:59

I've just answered questions as and when they have come up, getting more complex as they have got older. So recently did the full mechanics (dc are 9 and just turned 8), but started off with egg and sperm and special cuddle when they were 3/4ish I think (seems like long long ago). I have also explained all about periods to both of them, and occasionally got books out of the library (generally I prefer talking to pictures, although I did feel a fleeting impulse to use dolls to demonstrate when I was doing the mechanics ).

We started off quite young because I walk about naked a fair bit (at home) and have a distinctive c-section scar. They loved hearing about scalpels! I think children are always interested in their birth stories, and IVF is much more interested surely? Children I have known who were adopted were always keen on telling us how special they were - wouldn't the same be true of IVF? I always told my two that they came out by c-section because my womb wasn't good at doing it the normal way, and they just accepted that was how it was. That's the big advantage of talking about these things when your children are young and accepting, it's much easier to be straight up, and because they are not embarrassed, why should you be?

Honneybunny · 27/09/2008 17:38

Just had the 'period conversation' with ds1 (4.9). He asked me why sometimes i have a nappy, and was i still weeing/pooing in bed at night (this has been an issue with him lately, as he'd regressed a bit since starting reception)?

He seems to be extremely interested in his/other peoples bodies, and how the different parts work etc. He recently discovered his 'little meatballs' and asked dh what they were for. Dh then explained that they were where the seeds are that make babies, to which ds1 exclaimed: "oh haha daddy that's such a funny joke". He knows that mummies have eggs and daddies have seeds, but has not yet asked how they get together to make the baby. If he does i will tell him.

About the period I told him that every month mummy's tummy prepares itself just in case there will be a baby in there, and that for this i make sort of a little blanket, only this blanket is made out of blood. When it is not needed than my tummy tidies it all away, adn that is why i lose some blood every month. Ds1 was quite concerned that it would hurt, but i told him that it doesn't really.

I'd much rather have my children find out from me in a relaxed and safe environment, than that they catch wrong stories somewhere else and then refuse to come and talk to me about it. I myself was told in a rather graphic way when i was only 4yo by the boy next door, who told me that me and db were lucky to be boy and girl because we could practise how to f* on eachother... When db and I asked our parents about this they were very shocked...

singersgirl · 27/09/2008 17:52

DS1 didn't at 6; wasn't interested and hadn't asked. DS2 did, and has done from about 4, when he first started asking.

HonoriaGlossop · 27/09/2008 17:53

My ds is six and he knows about sperm/egg etc and that the man puts the penis inside the woman's vagina to get the sperm to the right place. We've told him he won't make sperm yet and that when he does it doesn't just 'come out' but only when the man and the lady want it to. This has all been in answer to his questions.

He's also asked what sanitary products are for and I've explained about periods.

Agree with WWB - if they're old enough to ask the question they're old enough to know the answer. In terms that are age appropriate, of course.

I would answer his questions the same way about everything; would find it deeply odd to be less informative about this than about, say, how plants grow or why it rains etc. It's asked in the same spirit and why keep them in ignorance of anything so natural and important to know about.