Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

My DS won't nap in his cot!

34 replies

Broucek · 17/09/2008 13:29

any suggestions how to tackle my DS's(18 wks) inability to nap in his cot? In fact he only wants to nap while being pushed around in the pram. This wasn't a problem in spring & summer but I am a bit reluctant to spend 3 or more hours each day in the rain trying to get him to sleep! He will now also sleep in his pram indoors but has to be pushed to sleep first.Our house isn't huge so this isn't very convenient and I also worry about him not learning how to nap cot when he's 9 months and has to go to nursery! Any advice please?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

takingitasitcomes · 17/09/2008 13:48

Hiya - my DS is same age and we've tackled a very similar problem this last week (he would only nap in a sling) using the Baby whisperer's Pick up Put down method. He will now sleep in his cot without much trouble, but won't sleep for nearly as long (only 30-40 mins as opposed to his 2 hour stints in the sling). However, the method did work. We've had a hard week doing it - but it is worth it. Let me know if you want more details on how to use PUPD.

Original poster

Broucek · 17/09/2008 13:52

Hi, that's interesting! I have the Baby Whisperer and will definitely look up the relevant pages. Did you literally put him down as soon as he stopped crying or held him a bit longer? My DS will calm down as soon as I lift him up but the moment I approach the cot he starts crying again!

OP posts:

Ohforfoxsake · 17/09/2008 13:52

Has he been sleeping in a moses basket? I put the basket in the cot for a while whilst they get used to it.

starkadder · 17/09/2008 14:07

We have the exact same thing. No suggestions though...but will be watching this page..!

takingitasitcomes · 17/09/2008 14:14

We do it exactly by the book - so we put him down as soon as he stops crying, even if he starts again on the way down. If he does that you touch his back to the mattress and pick him up again. At 4 months, she suggests you start with shush-pat first and then move to PUPD if he doesn't settle. Leave your hand on his chest/side/back (whatever you can reach) when you put him down and stay there with him while he falls asleep. You won't always need to be there so long (apparently) it's just while he's learning what you want him to do (sleep in the cot). Also, don't creep out until he's deeply asleep - so wait until the twitches have stopped. Both DH and I found the whole thing goes much easier if you don't step away from the cot while you are doing the PUPD - so DS can't get upset as you walk back to the cot to PD again. We've also made an effort to make our nap-time routine consistent and to 'wind down' the play for 20 mins before nap time. It all seems to be helping.

Original poster

Broucek · 17/09/2008 14:38

Thanks, he's due for a nap nap so will give it a go!

OP posts:

Original poster

Broucek · 17/09/2008 20:39

the first attempt was fairly disasterous - every time I picked him up after he started crying it took longer to settle him in my arms. Eventually he was sobbing for 10 minutes and I had to put him in the pram. But I shall persevere!

OP posts:

AccidentalMum · 17/09/2008 20:51

DD2 will only nap in her cot, in her room, in the dark, this is a right royal PITA. I say, go to art galleries, libraries, cafes etc while she is napping.

nowwearefour · 17/09/2008 20:53

just persevere. my dd2 was like this. i needed the time at home so i perservered. she is now nearly 16 months and (usually) has a 1.5- 2hr nap each day in her cot. just keep doing it every day.whatever you do make it the same.dont deviate. just keep on doing it. in almost all cases it will pay off....

mytetherisending · 17/09/2008 21:15

Hiya
I had exactly the same problem.
I did the following.
First make sure that you set a definate nap time and arrange to put him in the pram at the same time or try using the infant carrier and rocking. This will eventually set his clock to that time iyswim.
Next step was that I used key words 'have a little sleep when I put dd2 down in her cot, so she realised it wasn't bed time, however, I did put her in her sleeping bag or whatever you do at night, as this will create the cues for her knowing to go to sleep iyswim.
Leave crying for short spells, don't pick up before she is quiet iyswim calm her before picking up. I use the words 'thats enough, I'm here, no need'. I give a stern look. Pick up and cuddle, repeat the sleep phrase and put back down. Don't take him downstairs until the full time is up as this reinforces that if he cries he can come downstairs.
Stick to times while out by using the pushchair etc. His body clock will eventually set for that time iyswim and because he feels tired he will start to go off to sleep awake.

It took until dd2 was 5mths to understand the afternoon nap idea and has between 1 1/4 and 2 1/4hrs now.
Oh and make sure that he has plenty of morning activity- I found swimming, baby groups etc work best, used to put dd2 in playstations,walker, generally encourage him to expend energy!

Good luck!

Oh and a blackout blind is useful.

MegBusset · 17/09/2008 21:22

Hi, please don't worry that your DS will never sleep in a cot -- I spent so much energy worrying about this when my DS was little! It will happen sooner or later.

It took until about 5/6 months for DS to start sleeping in his cot. To start with I would push in the pram or put him in the sling. Then he started dozing off in his bouncy chair if I jiggled it. Then he would sleep in the cot if I cuddled/rocked/fed him to sleep. As he got older and got used to his sleep cues it got easier to put him down. Now he won't sleep properly anywhere except in the cot!

18 weeks is very young to leave to cry imo. I would keep sticking him in the pram but maybe try a bouncy chair too. Don't worry about nursery, he will have changed so much by 9mo and in any case they seem to have a magic ability to make babies sleep!

Original poster

Broucek · 18/09/2008 21:44

Thanks everyone, lots of useful hints here!
Takingitasitcomes - I did PUPD for two of his naps today (except I didn't even need to pick him up as patting did the job)and he fell asleep in his cot!!! I just had to perservere, it took 40 minutes the first time and 30 minutes the 2nd time and it worked. He fell asleep and there were actually no tears, just a bit of grumbling!!! I never thought I'd see some progress this quickly. Thank you so much!!! Though like yourself, I find that he only sleeps for 30-45 min in his cot while in his pram he'd be gone for 1.5-2 hrs but I think it will happen eventually and we are on the right track. I am so pleased!!!
mytetherisending - I like your suggestion about keeping naps to the same time each day - just one problem with that - my DS gets tired at different times each day dep. on his night, on the length of his previous nap etc... do you suggest I keep him up until his nap time - he does get very overtired if he's not put down when he starts yawning. Thanks!

OP posts:

morocco · 18/09/2008 21:51

don't waste too much time worrying about the whole napping thing. maybe he is cutting down naps? 3 hours sounds a pretty long time to be trying to get him to go to sleep!
get yourself a sling and carry him round in that instead while you get on with stuff you need to do. he'll fall asleep when he's ready.

takingitasitcomes · 18/09/2008 21:56

Hi Broucek - so glad you're making progress! I'm a bit that your LO quietents with just shush-pat. My DS still just winds himself up at every nap. It doesn't take nearly as long as when we first started with it though. I hope things keep getting better for you two too!

Original poster

Broucek · 18/09/2008 22:06

morocco - it took 30 min not 3 hrs I think that's not a bad going? I do have a sling but also a chronic backache from carrying a 7.5 kg baby - hence my resolution to get him to sleep in cot! Def. worth it I'd say and on top of that the PUPD really does work and doesn't seem to stress the LO out too much!
takingitasitcomes I think it makes a difference if they are put down almost before they get to the tired phase - my LO fusses more if he's over tired. Good luck!

OP posts:

takingitasitcomes · 19/09/2008 12:53

yes - am trying to pay more attention to when DS goes quiet rather than when he becomes obviously tired. Our DS's sound v. similar - I also took the plunge with PUPD partly because he's just getting too heavy for the sling.

mytetherisending · 20/09/2008 19:04

babies tend to get tired after being awake for about 2-3hrs, by the time they start yawning they are quite often past it IME. I agree to put down when he seems ok but not yawning iyswim. Don't keep him awake if he is tired though. I worked out 2-2.5hrs from the time my dds got up in the morning, the 2-2.5hrs from the end of her nap to work out good times for her iyswim.

Like you I couldn't use a sling, dd2 is only 6mths but weighs 21lb9 and is 68cm tall! It would do my back in carrying her all day.

Whoever said babies fall asleep when they are tired lies- it depends on how nosey they are Neither of mine would do that unless they were exhausted.

choufleur · 20/09/2008 19:51

DS (2.6) never napped in his cot or bed during the day. I've tired various things but he just won't sleep. he goes to sleep at night absolutely fine.

I was worried when he started nursery about him sleeping but he goes to sleep there easily. Still has one sleep there a day

Original poster

Broucek · 23/09/2008 15:40

choufleur - how old was your DS when he went to nursery? This is my biggest worry with my DS that when he goes to nursery (he'll be 10 months then) he won't be able to nap there. I've had a couple of sucesses trying to get my DS to nap in his cot after I tried the PUPD method as takingitasitcomes suggested but I am now back to a total no joy with napping in cot. I spent 2hrs this am trying to get him to sleep there and we both ended up in tears so I had to move him to his pram - like i always do! I am worried that by caving in each time I am perpetuing a bad habit. Or am I worrying for nothing and should just go with the flow and let him nap wherever he wants for as long as he wants?

OP posts:

asicsgirl · 23/09/2008 19:12

broucek i sympathise. i spent a lot of time worrying abt this with ds1. some points:

nursery will very prob be fine. nursery workers have loads of experience getting babies to sleep! ours used to rock ds1 to sleep in the pram, lord knows how, i could never do it . do you know for sure that they put the babies down in cots? they'll prob use a variety of methods, it's in everyone's interests for the babies to sleep

babies really do change v fast and will suddenly start doing something just as you are tearing your hair out about it ime. if it doesn't happen today, it might tomorrow, or next week. have faith and keep trying and try not to think 'oh this will never work!' when it goes wrong once or twice (this is where i always go wrong )

equally, don't feel bad abt giving up on those days when it obv isn't working, or you haven't got time/ energy to persevere. there's always tomorrow...

i wouldn't worry abt 'bad habits' at this age. 4 months is still tiny, there is time for everything to change. we did all sorts of things 'wrong' with ds1 (fed/ rocked him to sleep, never put him down awake, etc) and he is now a brilliant sleeper (3 yrs but has been for a while). i wish in retrospect i had gone with my instincts more and worried less.

good luck

starkadder · 24/09/2008 14:45

hi Broucek
I posted on this thread before just saying "same boat, no advice but will keep watching" - just wanted to let you know that today for the FIRST TIME IN HIS LIFE our baby (5 months 3 wks) has just gone to sleep for his after lunch nap in his cot.
Previously daytime naps have involved:

walking around for hours in street over bumpy cobblestones (luckily we live in old town Madrid)
pushing back and forth in pram in house (started being possible when he was 4mths)
wrapping him up snugly and singing to him for 30-40 mins while he lay on playmat (only worked for about 2 wks when he was between 2 and 3 mths old)

...but every time we tried putting him in his cot in the daytime he screamed blue murder.

Last 2 days I have been putting him to sleep in pram but patting him instead of pushing pram, plus singing v repetitive song to him. Today transferred patting and song to cot and success!

Tomorrow will prob be a different story...

starkadder · 24/09/2008 14:47

PS thing ascicsgirl's advice is excellent. Things seem to change every day...we should worry less..!

starkadder · 24/09/2008 14:51

PPS thinK (!) and asicsgirl!! Sorry for crap typing..

asicsgirl · 24/09/2008 16:13

oh starkadder i remember the cobblestones well too...

starkadder · 24/09/2008 17:40

we are moving to smooth pavemented suburbs soon...not sure what to do....!

Flip

1 2