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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

"Should i be picking my 4 week old up every time she cries?"

35 replies

Cjoyce · 15/09/2008 14:40

if i do pick her up she does stop crying. When i put her down again she'll cry.
If i continue to do this will she just cry so i will end up cuddling her? Or should i keep picking her up and worry about breaking the habit later?

OP posts:

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RubySlippers · 15/09/2008 14:41

yes

at 4 weeks she needs you and your reassurance

no such thing as too much cuddling or bad habits at 4 weeks old

BitOfFun · 15/09/2008 14:42

I think the advice at this age is pick up...A sling will be useful if I remember rightly

lulumama · 15/09/2008 14:43

yes IMO, pretty much ! she has barely realised she has been born and is a seperate entity from you

she also needs feeding frequently, and the closeness of being with you

crying is her only way of asking for help , you should respond to her

you cannot 'spoil' her by picking her up when she cries

if she needs to be in your arms all the time you could consider a sling.

ruddynorah · 15/09/2008 14:43

yes pick her up. better still get a sling.

WowOoo · 15/09/2008 14:43

I picked up my cry baby when he was that age. A LOT!!!! They will stop crying and before you know it there's an elephant running around your house and you're wondering where your little baby went...

Guadalupe · 15/09/2008 14:44

Yes.

Bucharest · 15/09/2008 14:45

Yes.
They are too little at 4 weeks to be manipulative.

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe · 15/09/2008 14:45

definitely

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 15/09/2008 14:45

upto id say. i wouldnt always go straight to the dds at that age if i knew they were clean, fed and dry. but i wouldnt leave them too long id just see if they would settle themselves but go to them after a few mins if they didnt.

Habbibu · 15/09/2008 14:45

Yes, definitely - and for quite some time to come!

PrettyCandles · 15/09/2008 14:46

You don't have to pick her up at every whimper - though of course you can if you want to. You can't spoil a child at this age! If you know that she is fed, clean, and burped, then maybe she just wants a little contact and soothing, so if you want to, you can try stroking her instead. But if this doesn't work, by all means pick her up and hold her. Two of my babies spent most of their early weeks in somebody's arms (mine, dh's, my mums...). Babies need loving, but some need space and reassurance rather than cuddles, like my ds1.

pooter · 15/09/2008 14:46

yes yes yes! pick her up - she still thinks shes part of you, and if you are not there it will feel like part of her is missing

yes this is very tiring/trying, but read the book "why love matters" and it will seem very worthwhile to respond to her needs immediately. You could go on the website slingmeet.co.uk for advice on slings.

congratulations on your little one!

poppy34 · 15/09/2008 14:47

defo - and before long you'll begin to distinguish crying.. was worried about this too but now nearly 12 weeks and don't need to pick her up as much - am sure its cos she knows i wouldnt leave her to cry for no reason

slim22 · 15/09/2008 14:49

yes

Boyswillbeboys · 15/09/2008 14:52

Yes, what Rubyslippers said. I remember doing chores, cooking, cleaning, putting out the washing etc with DS1 in his sling cos he cried constantly if he was not in my arms!

wasabipeanut · 15/09/2008 14:57

Don't fight it, just accept it, get a sling and enjoy the cuddles!

EyesWideShut · 15/09/2008 14:58

my 8wk old is still like this!Enjoy it, the time passes to quickly.

mummyc · 15/09/2008 15:04

Yes yes yes, does them so much good and they need you at this age. I remember though it's hard to do anything (like eat!) so also would say get a sling asap. And enjoy it! My happiest memories of maternity leave were when my DS was that age and he'd happily sleep on my chest all afternoon and letting him do that was the most important job I'd ever had not like the important corporate nonsense I get paid for

sitdownpleasegeorge · 15/09/2008 15:12

I was a fan of the Gina Ford routine type of thing when my babies were a bit older (although not to the letter, I only loosely followed it) and it did work for me but I never left either of my little babies to cry.

They loved to sleep snuggled into my chest whilst I sat/lay on the sofa watching daytime TV. Isn't that what maternity leave is for, attending to your babies needs (which are communicated by crying) ?

They both adapted to sleeping by themselves in a cot without any problems and are excellent sleepers to date.

TinkerBellesMum · 15/09/2008 15:16

A baby spends 9 months inside you, with just you for attention then they're ripped from you and expected to be away from you forever (they don't understand permanence at this age).

Enjoy this time when you are wanted all the time, it won't last!

Sycamoretree · 15/09/2008 15:21

Yes, pick her up. At that age, they're too tiny to be "taught" any kind of lesson by you doing your best to ignore her. It's just her temperament. I've got two LO's and one cried a lot and always needed cuddles, the other was just very chilled and independant from the outset. You should just respond to her instinctively at this stage and worry about behavioural stuff way further down the line.

Mimsy2000 · 15/09/2008 15:29

yes

sasamax · 15/09/2008 15:30

Yes do pick her up.
I was told time and time again when my DS was tiny that I was 'spoiling' him by picking him up whenever he cried. It was not easy as he needed a LOT of holding (ie all the time) - how I wished I hadn't wasted energy and stress worrying about it all and just accepted it. Regardless of all of the criticism from the 'rod for your own back' brigade, he is now so secure and confident as a 2.8 year old that he is perfectly happy to be left at playgroup etc, knowing that I would never desert him. He hasn't cried once, he is NOT spoiled and I wish people would stop criticising us so called 'soft' mothers. (sorry if that was a bit of a rant!)

starkadder · 15/09/2008 15:36

I'd say yes, do pick her up. Ours is only 5.5 months and already he can't really go to sleep on us any more - prefers his cot or pram - so I'm glad I ignored people who told me about the "rod for my own back" (at the time I was worried, of course...) and sat around with him sleeping on me all day in those first few weeks

poppy34 · 15/09/2008 15:40

sasamax that is so nice to hear as exactly what i hope for

[dd on me now and is very nice.. as know she'll be a big girl before I know it)

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