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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Biting your child repeatedly (on more than one occasion) because they bite you is wrong right?...

89 replies

LittleMissBliss · 07/09/2008 21:55

It just saddens me a mum that i know does this.

One occasion she left teeth marks on his arm and today she said he has a bruise on his back because she had bitten him back again. So clearly because she has to keep on biting him to show him it is wrong isn't working. Also the fact that he laughs at her when she hits (to punish), bites him or tells him off (he's only just one).

The reason she bites him is because she doesn't want him biting other children. But bites that leave marks and bruises are just awful aren't they? I'm trying to not be too judgey because d/s is still toothless at 10 months so don't have this problem. Can anyone suggest a better way to combat biting? He has nearly all his teeth so he does hurt her or who else he chooses to bite.

I would never say to her face ''you shouldn't bite your!'' child because i can't dictate her parenting style. But if you have any good tips i may be able to slip them into conversation the next time her son goes to bite another child.

Also just to put as much into the OP as possible we have very different parenting styles but very different children also. I luckily have a very placid good natured son, i know that isn't a reflection of my parenting just luck and genes. Her son has been very hard work from birth so i do feel for her as she has had a hard time.

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Original poster

LittleMissBliss · 07/09/2008 22:09

The thing is she's quite dominating in conversation and brash. If i tried to tell her that her parenting style isn't working she would probably laugh it off. Or say that it works for them. But i think i will try. What i really want to do is metion it to the health visitor as we have the same one but that just seems like snitching. Is it?.

The thing is i don't think she will listen to me. And she clearly doesn't see it as beeing wrong or she would keep it to herself.
I just feel for her son. But i don't want her to get into trouble.

OP posts:

Wilkiepedia · 07/09/2008 22:09

My previous post shouls have read DS not DH!

Wilkiepedia · 07/09/2008 22:10

Defo don't mention to HV. You could open a whole can of worms.

smurfwendy · 07/09/2008 22:12

if she confident it not wrong you could ask the hv to 'find' the mark and ask about it. If she confident she may then admit to hv and the hv can look ar reeducating her. It is not snitching when you are protecting babies.

thisisyesterday · 07/09/2008 22:14

you know what? I would tell the Health Visitor.

it is NOT right for someone to be biting a 1 yr old

nappyaddict · 07/09/2008 22:14

wiki - sorry was asking for advice.

Original poster

LittleMissBliss · 07/09/2008 22:15

Thankyou lazarou, we think so!

We aren't really great friends but share our sons in common and are close in age. I met her at a baby group and we have another mum in common (who i see more of) from the same group, they are closer but she does [hhm] her parenting style also.

OP posts:

Wilkiepedia · 07/09/2008 22:15

Nappyaddict - no probs

Original poster

LittleMissBliss · 07/09/2008 22:15

sorry

OP posts:

WideWebWitch · 07/09/2008 22:16

Of course it's bloody wrong, what a loon. He's ONE!

smurfwendy · 07/09/2008 22:17

I dont think child abuse is listed at a 'parenting style'

JodieG1 · 07/09/2008 22:18

So, to teach a child that biting is wrong, you bite them? This works how?

Lazarou · 07/09/2008 22:18

I would mention it to the hv. Just say that your friend thinks it will stop him biting others. If she won't listen to you she will certainly listen to the hv.

Original poster

LittleMissBliss · 07/09/2008 22:20

The thing is that it was her sons birthday today at her house and she was happy to mention this infront of 5 other parents and her mum was also there.

That is why i wanted to post as no one else questioned it whilst i was there, maybe they were all thinking the same..... Also they were letting their son drink beer(gulping out of a bottle) and wine from her glass. I think this was more shocking to the other mum's and dads than the biting remark. But that another thread.

OP posts:

FourArms · 07/09/2008 22:22

I know a lot of people that say you should bite a biter to show them not to do it. I can't see how it would work, and even though DS1 was a prolific biter (mainly of me thankfully), I never resorted to biting him. It was suggested to me many times though. I couldn't imagine being able to bite my baby hard enough to mark him, and would probably be worried by anybody that could do this repeatedly.

Wilkiepedia · 07/09/2008 22:22

Move away from the friendship methinks...

Grumpalina · 07/09/2008 22:24

This is a criminal assault pure and simple not a 'parenting style'. Tell the HV or SSD. If she is doing this to a one year old and thinks it is acceptable I shudder to think what she will do when he is older and hits or kicks etc etc. It is not snitching to tell someone it is Safe Guarding a child.

JodieG1 · 07/09/2008 22:25

FourArms I can't see why anyone would think that, seems rather, dumb, shall we say. Bite someone, to teach them not to bite? Backwards in the extreme in my opinion.

FourArms · 07/09/2008 22:25

Beer and wine.... well, I've probably let both DS's take a tiny taste when they've been overly interested in my glass. As expected, neither liked either, and my problem was solved. Same happens with coffee. Probaby the wrong approach to take though, so I'll stand back now if I'm going to get flamed for admitting that. Have to say, that if they did seem to like the taste, I would have stopped them, and wouldn't do it again.

pudding25 · 07/09/2008 22:25

This has made me so sad. It is abuse to bite a baby and leave marks. What kind of lesson are you teaching?
And why give alcohol to a 1 yr old. Ignorant, atupid and actually evil.

Original poster

LittleMissBliss · 07/09/2008 22:26

I know thats what i think wilkiepedia. My sons birthday is coming up and i don't really want to invite them but we have the other mum in common. Who is more towards my parenting style, no alcohol to babies and biting of babies.

But i want to help her not dump her really. For her sons sake if anything.

OP posts:

Original poster

LittleMissBliss · 07/09/2008 22:26

But i want to help her not dump her really. For her sons sake if anything.

OP posts:

Wilkiepedia · 07/09/2008 22:29

Little deviation but me and DH took DS to the pub for a carvery today and I was letting him sip my Appletiser which I referred to as 'mummy's beer' - I then had to hastily explain to the woman behind me who looked a bit shocked that it was only Appletiser and not really beer

Original poster

LittleMissBliss · 07/09/2008 22:30

I think i will talk to the health visitor. Because it really has upset me. I can't imagine bruising my baby. He has a bruised head at the moment, but that's because he's convinced he can walk, he can't!

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 07/09/2008 22:30

if you want to help her you need to make her see thatt his is not acceptable.

talk to the health visitor. please. she shouldn't be allowed to do this to a baby

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