Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Original poster

Thinking of placing dd into SS care..at wits end...pls help

41 replies

crispyduck · 28/08/2008 19:57

Sad
OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
differentID · 28/08/2008 19:58

What's been happening?

cornsilk · 28/08/2008 19:59

why?

IAteDavinaForDinner · 28/08/2008 19:59

Oh dear ... what's the story?

Original poster
crispyduck · 28/08/2008 20:00

i am sitting here crying atm...she is 14, abusive, violent, she kicked me about an hour ago..this has been going on for 2 years

OP posts:
1dilemma · 28/08/2008 20:07

Have you tried custy?

a wise mumsnetter with (what appears to me wiht my preschoolers!) many a good piece of advice for wayward teenagers.

LackaDAISYcal · 28/08/2008 20:09

oh dear

surely there is something else that can be done before taking this sort of drastic action?

Original poster
crispyduck · 28/08/2008 20:10

Thx

OP posts:
sarah293 · 28/08/2008 20:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MrsMattie · 28/08/2008 20:11

Oh @crispyduck

My sister was like this at one stage. My mum was a single parent and it was incredibly hard for her. Have you got any help or anyone to confide in at all? Where is her dad? Have you got any relatives or friends to support you? Have you got a social worker? You shouldn't have to deal with this alone...

Original poster
crispyduck · 28/08/2008 20:12

i have tried everything from anger managment to family support workers....nothing helps with her

OP posts:
lovemyshoes · 28/08/2008 20:13

I definately think Custy is the way to go, she knows her stuff. Try and get advice from her.

MrsMattie · 28/08/2008 20:14

Is there anyone else she can stay with for a while - a responsible aunt/uncle/family friend? To give you both some breathing space? Sometimes very difficult teenagers act up with certain people and are good as gold with others.

And do you know where this anger is coming from? Why is she so unhappy?

Really sympathise with you

IAteDavinaForDinner · 28/08/2008 20:14

I second the custardo suggestion, I've seen her give some great advice.

Where is she?

I am sorry you're having such a hard time

Janni · 28/08/2008 20:17

So sorry, Crispyduck. Have you tried calling Parentline to talk it all through?
How is your daughter at school? Are there any teachers or youth workers who could mediate between you and her to try to get to the bottom of why she's so angry and why she feels she can take it out on you?

Where's her father?

Original poster
crispyduck · 28/08/2008 20:18

She was carted off in a police car 6 weeks or so ago...she violently attacked me while i had a fractured foot..2 days earlier i had a miscarriage
the police cautioned dd...she then went to live at her grandparents came back 2 weeks ago and it is going back to the way it was

OP posts:
Original poster
crispyduck · 28/08/2008 20:20

her father lives abroad..she has very little contact with him

OP posts:
cornsilk · 28/08/2008 20:21

What do school say?

MrsMattie · 28/08/2008 20:21

Does she have some sort of mental health problems?@crispy

(sorry, I don't mean to be offensive, but violently attacking your mum after she has had a m/c is pretty terrible behaviour).

Original poster
crispyduck · 28/08/2008 20:23

SS got involved...and basically were no help
i suggested mental health referral but they werent interested

OP posts:
littleducks · 28/08/2008 20:24

do you know what the root of the problem is?
is she (or do you suspect she is) taking drugs?

(i dont want to offend btw, just alot of kids of her age do at some schools near here and it causes terrible problems behaviourly)

do you have other children?

and really hope things get better for you the mc and foot sound tough enough without a troubled teen

Original poster
crispyduck · 28/08/2008 20:27

no prob..i am not offended by anyones opinion or suggestions

OP posts:
Original poster
crispyduck · 28/08/2008 20:31

i have 2 other children...13 and 3...both boys

OP posts:
Romy7 · 28/08/2008 20:33

no CAHMS referral?
visit gp and get one?

Romy7 · 28/08/2008 20:34

CAMHS...

littleducks · 28/08/2008 20:37

does she have periods of being calm and reasonable, with sudden outbursts? can you ever find a time to explain the damage she is doing or is it constant?

is she aggresive/violent to her brothers?
how was she at grandparents?

what are her friends like? is she in with the wrong crowd or do the seem to be nice (as teens go)