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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Socialising with a 14 month old - healthy eating

41 replies

sazzerbear · 06/07/2008 19:59

I have a 14 month old ds and I have been weaning and feeding a la Annabel Karmel which is going really well, he enjoys all sorts of food including healthy sweet snacks in moderation as I want to give him the best start while I am in control! Now he is at the age where we are socialising more, he is often open to temptation (the other day the neighbour was trying to ply him with bourbon biscuits - fine for her kids, not for mine!) I feel like I am a) being judged and b) being mean not letting him have things like this in moderation. What's the answer or do I just "go with the flow" as it will only get harder as the years go on?!

OP posts:

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giddykipper · 06/07/2008 20:01

My DS is 14 months and I let him have biscuits etc. My view is that if I let him have them in moderation then they won't be a big deal for him. He eats really well, has plenty dairy and veg, hardly ever turns anything down, so I'm not bothered about him having the sweet stuff too.

LaylaandSethsmum · 06/07/2008 20:01

I would think the odd bourbon or custard cream isn't going to do him any harm. Same goes for sweets and chocolates. I think that you're setting yourself up for a lot of unnecessary hard work.

Hulababy · 06/07/2008 20:01

Up to you how you deal with it.

TB I am in the camp of the odd biscuit really not being an issue but if it bothers you, say no. But never make it soubd like you are judging. Just say no and leave it as that.

And yes, the more you go out the more he will be exposed to. Up to you how you deal with it.

MaloryIsCrossWithJohnnie · 06/07/2008 20:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

deanychip · 06/07/2008 20:03

no! stick to your guns.
i used to say no thanks, and just say esactly what you have said in your post, that while i can and i am in control i would rather he didnt have sweet things...
it worked for me, and most peolpe said, that what i was doing was wise.
you will be surprised at the support you get.
also, i always had in my bag/pocket soemthing healthy for my boy, so he wasnt doing without, when others were eating.
Little pit of grapes or strawberries etc.

Mercy · 06/07/2008 20:09

I think if a neighbour or someone you don't know very well offers your child a biscuit then it would be rude to refuse.

You can decide what he eats at home or in other situations. It doesn't necessarily get harder as they get older

Original poster

sazzerbear · 06/07/2008 20:10

Thanks guys, he does have baby biscuits etc so is not totally deprived of biccies! What about the issue of squash sneaking in at parties etc? I have heard it makes them crazy!

OP posts:

Egg · 06/07/2008 20:10

I was determined to keep my DS1 away from "real" biscuits etc as long as I could, and he had the organix ones that are sweetened with grape juice if he had anything, but it didn't last long tbh. It meant I could never have any cake with my coffee etc and I wasn't about to deprive myself! I do get annoyed though when people buy him loads of chocolate all the time though, he is 2.4 now, and whenever anyone comes to visit they say "oooh look eggboy, I brought you these chocolate cars from M&S" and he goes mad with excitement and wants to eat them all.

giddykipper · 06/07/2008 20:11

DS has the odd drink of squash without any discernible effects

Egg · 06/07/2008 20:12

My DS1 refuses squash anyway. I sometimes have it at home but he wont even taste it, and wont touch it at parties. He went for so long without trying it and is now at that stage where he wont try anything new (wont even try ICE CREAM ). Don't think squash is all that bad (depends on the squash of course), but water or fresh fruit juice would be better.

SIBLINGRIVALRY · 06/07/2008 20:12

Hi Saz, I'm in the 'little bit of what you fancy' camp. I think the odd biscuit/handful of crisps/chocolate button is fine in moderation.

With DD1 I used to get into such a state about MIL giving her crap unhealthy treats. Now that she's older though she knows what my 'rules' are.She will ask for an apple instead of a packet of crisps, with a bit of gentle threatening reminding from me before the visit!

DD2 had a lot more exposure to the less healthy spectrum of food, due to being dragged round various parties with DD2. I have always allowed her to have odds and ends, but I don't think anyone has taken offence when I have turned down treats for her. I just tend to say something like 'thanks, but she's had enough treats today.'

You have to do what feels best for you though.

deanychip · 06/07/2008 20:12

o took his own drinking cup with him.
this was not an issue either because parties are so busy that no one notices that your child has his own.
even now i take a small bottle of water for my ds instead of squash.
he does have bickies now he is nearly 5. but i held off for as long as i possibly could, he was about 4 before i started to buy in bickies etc.

Mercy · 06/07/2008 20:14

I don't think I've ever been to a party where squash has been offered to the children - have been going to them for a few years now!

If yoru child does drink some and reacts, then you know to refuse it the next time.

PhDlifeNeedsaNewLife · 06/07/2008 20:14

mind you I did have a woman the other day give ds (also 14m) a bit of choccy biscuit - after I'd said I didn't want him to have it - because "it wasn't fair"! THAT's ruder than me saying no, I reckon.

lilolilmanchester · 06/07/2008 20:15

If you feel judged, grow a thick skin and ignore (welcome to parenthood, you will be judged by someone, somewhere, for the duration) - or listen and be prepared to modify your own principles based on other people's experiences.

Being mean - well, I'm of the "tough love" parenting brigade. Children need boundaries, sometimes that means being "mean" (from the children's perspective).

What you now need to decide is how you teach your DS to balance the unhealthy treats he is bound to come across between now and his leaving home with healthy eating. There's no problem with one rule for every day meals at your home and parties/special occasions IMO. It's up to you what constitutes unhealthy, and what is a good age to start teaching moderation. I have my own views but not for me to inflict them on you unless you ask.

Original poster

sazzerbear · 06/07/2008 20:19

Brilliant, some great advice there! What's great in theory and what works in practice are Theory and practice are very different where children are concerned!!

OP posts:

chutneymary · 06/07/2008 20:28

FOr things which are OK but I wouldn't buy myself, I go with the flow and let DD (3) have them. Sometimes I limit the amount - if she is given a whole bag of Buttons, then she gets a few and we save the rest for me to eat later, but I don't want to give her a complex or make her think some food is better than others. If she is offered something really heinous, I swap it for something a bit more worthy. The man in the corner shop always gives her a chupa lolly which I tell her is put away for later and swapped for a rich tea finger once out of sight. I always tell him she's just about to have lunch / dinner etc so as not to offend, and then just lose it on the way home. Thankfully we don't go in there much.

BlueberryPancake · 06/07/2008 20:29

Oh please don't be such a snob and let him have a biscuit once in a while. One glass of squash won't make anybody crazy! What is this need anyway of constantly wanting to be in control of everything! Just relax, go with the flow, your child won't be obese of have developmental problems if you let him have a biscuit once in a while.

Egg · 07/07/2008 09:16

Um I wouldn't really call it "snobby" to prefer a 14 month old not to eat bourbons...

FeelingDeviant · 07/07/2008 09:49

My motto is to never let DD eat anything I wouldn't eat myself.
And I'd never touch a bourbon biscuit - tastes horribly synthetic - so would never subject dd's taste buds to that.

gladders · 07/07/2008 11:25

unless you yourself always turn down a biscuit in these situations think it is rather ott not to let him have one?

Original poster

sazzerbear · 07/07/2008 11:46

Thanks Egg! BlueberryPancake - to set the record straight,I am not being snobby or a control freak or I would not be asking for advice! I merely want to establish a sensible balance between eating healthily and the occasional treat. As for bourbons, they are so vile, I would rather give him a dog biscuit! LOL

OP posts:

Egg · 07/07/2008 11:51

Tis ok. My DS1 eats all sorts of biscuits now, usually at least one a day, sometimes two. He never eats "puddings" as such (yoghurts etc) for some reason, so if he eats enough of his main meal he has a biscuit. He is obsessed with biscuits. Sometimes his first words to me in the morning are "I know!..... biscuits". I have never not let him have biscuits, as I said he has had the Organix ones from about 7 months, and still eats them now, as well as bog standard Tesco ones, so not quite sure why the biscuit obsession. Ah well. Worse things happen. At least he has never tasted a bourbon !

ruddynorah · 07/07/2008 11:57

i don't mind dd having biscuits etc. people are trying to be nice when they offer them. the nicest way to deal with it is to say thankyou, take a big bite yourself and give dd a tiny bit.

CrushWithEyeliner · 07/07/2008 12:01

rich teas are nice treats for babies I find. They are quite plain.

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