Socialising with a 14 month old - healthy eating

[sazzerbear]

I have a 14 month old ds and I have been weaning and feeding a la Annabel Karmel which is going really well, he enjoys all sorts of food including healthy sweet snacks in moderation as I want to give him the best start while I am in control! Now he is at the age where we are socialising more, he is often open to temptation (the other day the neighbour was trying to ply him with bourbon biscuits - fine for her kids, not for mine!) I feel like I am a) being judged and b) being mean not letting him have things like this in moderation. What's the answer or do I just "go with the flow" as it will only get harder as the years go on?!

We are currently working our way through a large pack of rich tea. DS1 calls them nursery biscuits as that's what they give them as a treat there too.

I think biccies are ok for treats, its not as if you feed him crap all the time. But its your decision.
Its definately not snobby to worry about what your child eats either its your job.
You are obviously doing it brilliantly by giving him a balanced and healthy diet and by trying to work out what to give him as a treat so he dosn't feel left out when all his friends are getting theirs.
Good Job.

PS I Love Bourbon's dunked in Tea.
The Tesco's ones are also milk free and one of the few that my DD can have and she loves them.

my ds always had odd treats and eats very healthy loves all veg and fresh fruit

and still has treats in moderation take rice cakes out with you and say oh no thank you just eaten a bag of rice cakes or give a rice cake instead

but in moderation its fine its just when bribery comes with sweets and thats all they want

my fds is 3 and i take him to fruit stall and he gets to choose his own fruit and gets all excited cant wait to eat them

he eats banana, apple, grapes and stawberries in one day and broccoli and cauliflower at dinner time but still has treats in between

should be ds sounds like im swearing at him lol

I was really strict with DS1 and he did not have things like biscuits at that age. I also would not have let him drink squash (still doesn't except if at a party or something and he is nearly 5), and at that age its quite easy cos they need a baby type cup anyway.

There is plenty of time to eat biscuits later. DS1 prefers a piece of fruit to a biscuit, I think that is pure luck though. Why not get him into good habits at a young age.

DS2 is a different story, 9 months and eating rich tea . I don't think he should but he wants what everyone else has. Still only drinks milk or water though.

oh give them a biscuit fgs, it is not poison!

when I used to go to M&T group and the biscuits came out you could see these babies and toddlers staring longingly at the children eating biscuits and looking down at their rice cake and back up again

they will not get into 'bad habits' (whatever they are) by having a biscuit

I let DS have the odd biscuit, including bourbon and choc digestive etc.. I check squash for additives - if there's no artificial colours or sweeteners he can have it - it's never been offered at a kid's party I've been to, so haven't had to be rude and look at labels at friend's houses! I think if it was offered I would ask to look and explain that he's sensitive to certain things (true, and if they know how full-on he can be, they will be only too pleased that I'm checking so that their house is likely to be still standing when we leave! I think most squashes these days have restricted the E numbers though and DS has only had reactions to very brightly coloured foods.)

He also has the odd ice lolly, little piece of chocolate etc. If he wasn't eating 5 portions of fruit/veg and some good quality protein & fat every day then I'd think about restricting treats. As it is, he eats properly at mealtimes so I don't think I need to be too much of a food nazi in between.

In my experience, it is much more beneficial for babies to socialise often then to worry about what food they might or might not get at a M&T, birthday party, etc. The first birrthday party we went to, the parents had arranged some lovely blueberries, strawberries, slices of apples, bananas etc in a lovely 'mountain' of fruits, and the toddlers went crazy! they also had natural popcorn, which my toddler loved, and ricecakes, organic juice, water, etc... so that's now what I do for my children's parties, and the fruit 'mountain' is very popular. And the cakes, of course!

Sorry I was bit hard with my words, but I just don't understand people who completely restrict sweets or treats, or biscuits. If something is offered a sweet (complete stranger offered a lollipop to my 6 month old the other day!!) I just say thank you, I'll give it to him after his lunch. Goes in the bin.

sazzer, I have only read your OP. You are right that you are in control now. But more and more, it is going to slip. I believe in everything in moderation, and not make forbidden fruit out of things which are really there for our enjoyment.

In the whole range of junk foods, bourbon biscuits aren't even that bad. Wait till you get to birthday parties and it is open season on haribos and lollipops.

I have a stash of party 'treats' which I have collected from birthday parties (party bags, pinatas and the like) which I keep at home. At the party, my dcs can pretty much eat what they like, for the social occasion. But at home, they don't generally care about the stash or look for it, even though I put it within their reach in a cupboard and they know it is there.

Thank you to everyone for their advice, I think the phrase "everything in moderation" is the way to go!

I wonder how many how often is still 'occaisional'? If you visit with mums and toddelrs a lot, it's easily 2-3 times a week. That's not so occaisional. And without intervention it's not just one biscuit or cake. I don't like to refuse, but keep it to a minimum. I've never eaten so many cakes or biscuits in my life as I have since dd was born though. It's bizarre, this cake and biscuit eating culture that mums seem to have. I can see some of us are pulling back while others just go on and on - eating more and more as the family grows..

I could easily live in a world without cake or biscuits. They're just not real food as far as I'm concerned.

I always take some snacks for ds when we are out, and review the offering for suitability - then I can always substitute my snack if I don't like what else is on offer. Sometimes, ds doesn't take the biscuit offered - he is not a fan of chocolate for example, but if I am having a piece of cake, it is easier to let him have some that listen to the protests....I think it's ok to refuse squash etc - again, if you take your own, then just produce that. If people think it's odd, then find someone else to socialise with. I would have a think though, about what you will do when ds is 4 and at a party where everything is bad....I would imagine it will be hard to explain he can't have anything. You may have to bend the rules slightly on the odd occasion, as he's having a good diet the rest of the time. Just like adults...

You have to do what feels right for you. This said, my mum was incredibly strict with my diet when I was younger (no sweets, biscuits etc) and consequently they immediately became forbidden fruit and I got to a certain age (6 I think) when I thought about cakes etc constantly because others around me had them. I remember a really vividly dream when I dreamt a stack of fairy cakes had found their way to my bed and i remember the crushing disappointment when I woke up to discover it was a dream! My point is that I now have an incredibly sweet tooth and I'm sure its because as soon as I could, it became my daily diet.

My nanny also verifies that in her experience the children who are denied these things most of the time, tend (and this obviously) isn't everyone to overdose on the goodies at parties etc.

I made the decision to be a bit more easy going with my children and cosequently my daughters have learnt their limits. They will often choose fruit or another snack over a biscuit but there is no good or bad food in our house. I don't know about squash but I can honestly say I have never seen an adverse behavioural reaction to any food/drink my girls have had. I think it's more likely the environment that provokes the response e.g. tiredness, excitedness etc unless it's something stimulating like caffeine in chocolate or certain additives .

I think that if it is offered it is rude to refuse but I must say it has become a problem with our (old) neighbour. He will offer the children biscuits every time and when they have had a few I say 'no more, we're having lunch when we go home' but he continues to offer so either I have to stand my ground (awkward) or back down and the kids aren't hungry for lunch.

The result is that we don't visit him unless it mid morning or mid afternoon because otherwise DCs are so full of biccies they can't eat their 'proper' meals. He is losing out on visits and I know he misses them because he has remarked on how we are busier now and visit less often.

Artificial sweetner in squash and other products can cause some children to act strangely, especially if they are normally hyperactive. Not all children, oviously.