DD will be 4 in August and is due to start in reception in Sept. She was invited to a party of a child currently in her nursery class who will also be in reception. Other children from nursery were also invited but dd doesnt know them that well. Anyway party has been much anticipated and dd was happy to choose a gift, help write the card etc and off we trolleyed today to the party. Not our first bday party I hasten to add.
On arrival the mother of the birthday child welcomed us and asked dd whether she would like to choose a dressing up outfit - ( the theme of the party was fairytale characters - a lot of princesses actually!) at which point DD transformed into crying limpet which is a bit out of character. In her defence, we had barely walked through the door when she was asked to dress up and there was a bit of a scrum for the costumes. So we went and sat at the side of the hall and I chatted to DD and another parent for 5 mins or so. Calmed DD down and managed to get her to come with me and choose a dress... but she wouldnt put it it on (everyone else dressed up by this point) and didnt want to join in the first game. Eventually managed to get her to come with me and join in the lucky dip type game, but as soon as she had her turn wanted to go and sit back down sobbing. Next game was kiss the frog (variation on pin the tail on the donkey) and as she was desperate to win a prize I suggested she might like to join in (I am becoming slightly exasperated by this point.) She wouldnt go 10 ft away to the game, so I went with her but as soon as it was her turn to be blindfolded she collapsed into a teary heap again - she was very over whelmed I think. After an hour of cajoling, ignoring, positive encouragement, saying let's go home then etc etc tea was served and dd refused to sit down at the place set for her (although I know she wanted to) so I suggested we leave, and she sobbed even more and started muttering about her party bag. I said that she couldnt have a party bag unless she had joined in which set her off even more. I was almost at the end of my tether by this point - I think a bit out of selfish annoyance that I couldnt have a 5min chat to some other mums and a cuppa, some embarrasment that dd wasnt joining in and I felt was spoiling it by crying etc for the bday child and the mother who was bending over backwards to be nice and friendly and get her to join in, even bringing her a sneaky chocolate finger and party ring to cheer her up and that I felt in her own small way that she was being quite rude and ungrateful (although I appreciate that sounds harsh in hindsight).
Bday child's father then insisted very kindly that we take our blasted beautiful party bag and the mother gave dd 2 of the lovely cupcakes. I was full of apologies and we left. When we got home DD took one look at DH, burst into tears again and took herself off to her bedroom unprompted for 30 minutes. She isnt unwell or overtired AFAIK. Felt like a very torturous experience which lasted hours, in fact we lasted 55 minutes. She also did say at some point in the proceedings that she now doesnt want to have a birthday party of her own! AAAAAAAAAGH!!!!! But I think that was just in a bid to wind me up even more! We'll tackle that one at a later date I think. Anyway.... always keen to learn for next time so....
What would you have done? Where did I go wrong?
Thanks for reading and for any suggestions for the next party!