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Ignoring Boys

41 replies

Twinsmum · 24/03/2001 14:18

I am mum to two boys and am really, really fed up of the total bias towards girls in many shops and magazines.
Walk into most shops and you'll see rails and rails of lovely colourful clothes for girls.....then half a dozen khaki coloured t-shirts for boys.
Magazines like Junior (v good mag other than this) make such a fuss about girls.
I have a god daughter who is wonderful, and the daughters of my friends are all lovely but boys are beautiful too and they deserve more attention.

Anyone else feel the same?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Robinw · 24/03/2001 20:29

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Emmy · 25/03/2001 10:59

Ive got a boy and 2 girls , and its so much easier to buy for the girls. Next seems to be the only place with decent boys clothes. And I do feel the feminist thing has made everyone a bit anti-boy, they are almost expected to do less well at school now etc. Food for thought, actually Twinsmum!

Eulalia · 25/03/2001 11:04

I find boys clothes in the shops a bit dull but I get all mine second hand and generally because they are older and hence a bit more old-fashioned they are nicer. They tend to be things like cute dungerees, old fasioned jumpers, and baggy 'breeches'. The modern clothes tend to be like adult male clothes very plain cut with uniform colours. I like babies to look like babies. I think the more expensive shops have a better choice so I'll just wait until they appear in the nearly new sales!

I agree of course that boys are beautiful - my son has quite delicate features and it is only recently that people have stopped calling him "she" as if a boy can't possibly be good looking.

I agree with you Robinw - I am not in favour of garish pink with frills and Barbie trainers with glitter!

Emmy · 25/03/2001 19:11

oops, my 2 year old has Barbie trainers. Though she got new ones today (why is it that her feet are the only bit of her that grows?)- theyve still got glitter on.................

Robinw · 25/03/2001 19:55

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Emmy · 25/03/2001 21:37

This is what I don't understand -I'm not the slightest bit girlie myself, so why is it that when I started having girls, this whole "pink" side to me came "out"? dont get me wrong, I still don't like frills and dresses with matching knickers, but I love the whole girl thing of hair styles and accessories and little barbie purses etc!!! Do you think maybe I had a deprived childhood!

Marina · 26/03/2001 08:56

Twinsmum, I agree about the gear - in fact I think most of the UK mass market children's clothes are horrible for boys and girls (Next is the best on the high street for both sexes in my book). If my son wants to join the TA when he's 15, fine. But I don't see why he should go into camouflage or go about dressed as a Bob the Builder commercial while he's still in nappies.
We operate on a pretty tight budget so we buy a lot of his clothes from the Vertbaudet and La Redoute catalogues. Once you get past the French obsession for cream linen bermudas on the under threes they are in lots of cheerful colours, well made and free of Disney propaganda. If you live in SE England or travel to France frequently Du Pareil au Meme have outlets in many medium-sized shopping centres (there's one at Calais in the Cite de L'Europe) and their stuff is really cheap, good and colourful.
Mothers of girls who think Girl Heaven is an abomination would also like these collections I think. Old fashioned style without paying Mini Boden or Daisy and Tom prices.

Tigermoth · 26/03/2001 09:15

Yes, so many boys clothes are uniform with the same boring palette of colours. I tend to hover round Gap kids sale rails and buy their disouncted stuff. Especially as a shop assistant told me that all clothes are automatidcally reduced after a mere six weeks! I've counted and it's true.
Most of the Gap clothes seem to me to fall into the grown-up preppy look or good Ol' American 50's nostalgia sports look but I've found some OK stuff there that doesn't scream 'GAP' at you.

Sometimes I go into a 'I've got a little baby daughter' fantasy and have a look in Monsoon kids
at the beautiful girls clothes. Such a shame there's no Monsoon boys range, though I suspect it there was, little velvet page-boy suits and the Aubrey Beardsley look might figure heavily.

As for boys being ignored generally, yes I agree with lots of the comments posted here. May say more on this later when I've got more time...

Marina · 26/03/2001 10:23

Thanks for the tip Tigermoth. Only six weeks! Baby Gap's clothes can be really nice and their socks are just the best I've found for staying put til they have to come off.
While I agree with the others about little boys being used less on magazine covers etc most people we knew congratulated us on having a boy and make an enormous fuss of him. Be interesting to see if our hoped-for second is a girl, and how the same people react. We honestly didn't mind what we had, and wouldn't next time.

Tom · 26/03/2001 11:40

For my little boy (9 munfs), I've found these are the best suppliers:

Grandma (knitter extraudinaire)
Gap (best go to Gap Outlet if you can - there's one in Swindon)
Next (Next to nothing's a bargain)
Boden
H & Ms
Second hand shops in posh areas of town.

But let's face it - the fashion industry puts a whole bunch more effort into dresses than into trousers, and as long as we model ickle people's clothes on big people's, girls will always come out top.

Janh · 26/03/2001 11:43

our second child was a second girl and some of the cards we were sent implied we might be disappointed. when our third was a boy some of them implied we could stop now. we went on to have another - a second boy - anyway.
some people are just very silly about a lot of things!
and, yes, the choice of clothes for boys is limiting and the choice for girls irresistible but it makes boys much cheaper to keep!

Suew · 26/03/2001 13:25

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This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request.

Twinsmum · 26/03/2001 15:35

Thanks for all the tips!
I agree about Baby Gap. The sales stuff is great.
Although I much prefer 'old fashioned' style clothes and wouldn't choose the barbie stuff myself, I have to say that given the choice of pink, fluffy and sparkly - or dirty green...the sparkles would win every time.
So if any kids clothes maker is reading this - get your baby blue sequins out!!!! There are plenty of boys' mums out here who want a bit more choice without having to pay a fortune.

(By the way, on the question of boys v girls ... quite a few people reacted with groans of 'poor thing' when they heard I'd had two boys. In my post pregnancy / still in shock state I found this really worrying and wondered what on earth I'd let myself in for. I'm from a family of girls .. and wasn't really sure what to 'do' with boys! If anyone reading this is expecting a boy - yes they ARE a handful, yes they do run me ragged BUT yes they also give the most gorgeous sticky kisses and yes they will make glitter cards with you!!!)

OP posts:
Tigermoth · 27/03/2001 12:14

More Boys (and girls) clothes information if anyone's interested:

French Connection warehouse sales, held about 4 time a year in the East End. Head Office have details. As well as adults stuff, they reduce items in their children's range. Things are usally £10 or less. Last one I went to had racks of beautiful knitwear, at a bargain £5.00 an item. Only drawback was the it was mostly in one sample size only: age 6 years.

Also, I've found some festivals are good for children's stuff, especially the more child-friendly ones (and it's not all knit-your-own- lentil attire).

Particularly recommend Strawberry Fair held on Midsummer Common, near Cambridge city centre, usually the first Saturday in June. Hundreds of stalls and lots of children's entertainment. Also the Stoke Newington Street Festival held on a Saturday in June/July. Because such a lot of families seem to live nearby, the stalls are full of nice clothing and toys - very cheap!

There, now you know all my secrets!

Batters · 27/03/2001 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Janh · 28/03/2001 14:43

i think there needs to be a "clothes for boys" heading somewhere!
i forgot to say, in the message i posted before, that an excellent place for reasonable clothes for boys - AND girls, actually - is sport soccer. a lot of what they have is the donnay brand, which might not do for older children who care about labels, but at the moment they have fantastic quality cotton t-shirts in a huge range of lovely colours for £2 each, and polo shirts ditto for £3 (i think). leather velcro trainers, black, or white with different coloured trim, £12. loads of different styles of casual trousers too.
they also have "last season's" - i put it in quotes because who cares - branded stuff quite cheap too - lots of adidas, umbro, nike etc. not as cheap as the donnay but excellent value. and they do have this season's stuff too, for girls as well as boys (ellesse etc) but that is dearer again.

Jbr · 29/03/2001 17:45

I find boys clothes are much cheaper than girls.

I actually hate all this girls clothes and boy's clothes, it isn't natural most of it (apart from the obvious underwear!) just the way things are constructed.

I remember Lowry Turner saying she didn't buy clothes for her baby until it was born as she didn't know the sex and therefore didn't know what colours to get! Very, very sad.

Emzie · 30/03/2001 17:47

I agree- the clothes for boys are dull and samey, I like my little boy (just two) to look like a little boy not a replica of a Next mannequin, a multi-coloured mini soccer lout or indeed too Little Lord Fauntleroy! A sort of old fashiioned meets Gap would be great -,but this usually means spending a fortune on Italian/French designer gear which he grows out of 10 mnutes later! Lots of scope for a new company methinks!

Janh · 30/03/2001 21:21

emzie - apart from my precious sport soccer (which is far from all mini-soccer-lout) - have you checked out kids stuff? there is a link on here i think. they used to be independent but are now linked to great little trading co. they have some beautiful things - not cheap but very traditional, good quality and just nice. i don't buy them any more as i'm on my last child, and if you can't hand them down it makes them so much dearer, (AND he's always losing things!) but i always used to.
nobody seems to have mentioned adams either. cheap, cheerful and not all dull and samey.
or george at asda.
you must all have loads of spare cash!

Jule · 30/03/2001 22:24

I went shopping today for a new baby girl outfit, having a 9 month old son I was looking forward to choosing something in pink. I thought boys clothes were limited, but!!! trying to choose an outfit for a little girl that wasn;t frilly pink or trimmed with flowers with a matching hat and pretty knickers was really difficult. I suppose the grass is always greener until you jump over the fence.
try H&M if you've got a branch near you fab clothes at really good prices !!!

Knakered · 03/12/2001 02:36

PUMPKIN PATCH...really is the best ...new to the UK ...I think it is Oz or NZ originally but they do really cool surf wear, Hawaaian shirts etc for boys in great colours, reasonably priced and good quality....do girls stuff too

Inkpen · 07/12/2001 12:20

Boys definitely need some boosting these days. I have one boy, one girl and I'm already seeing the bias, and not just in clothes. We are constantly told how wonderful and 'easy' and clever girls are while boys are seen as trouble.
Worse still, my boy has just started school and the same things are now being parroted at him by - guess who? - little girls in his class! 'Boys don't do that - boys don't like that - boys can't be angels - I'm not playing with you because I only play with girls ...' (I've discussed the Angel Gabriel, not to mention various archangels, with him but it doesn't stand up against a girl in the playground telling him he's silly!) As a boy who is highly imaginative, pretty sensitive and loves bright colours, I am having a hard time treading a central path here. I don't want him mocked in the playground, but nor do I see why he should be told he can't do things purely because of his sex. That to me looks remarkably like - sexism?
I also now have the problem that my two year old (a girl) has reached the (yuk!) Pink Stage. And my son (I've posted about this before elsewhere!) says forlornly, 'Why can't I wear pink and purple like her?'
I love both my kids and want to enjoy them for what they are, which includes some clear gender differences and some traits that are all their own. But I'm sad to say that I had never realised, as a long-term feminist, how much boys can be discriminated against too.
On the subject of two of one sex, I think that cuts both ways though - you're expected to have the 'perfect' family of one boy/one girl. I was congratulated hugely for 'achieving' this! However, the individual comments were interesting - when I had my boy, all the remarks were about 'hard work', with my girl, it was cuter. I've also heard many friends who've had girls say that they, as women, 'couldn't imagine having a boy' as though boy babies were some kind of aliens!
Isn't it sad that society seems so determined to force people into pigeon-holes all the time? Girls must be pink and frilly, mini-spice girls, full of girl power, boys have to wear camouflage and zap things? Please can't we just have some freedom of expression here?

JJ · 07/12/2001 12:41

I hate it when people ask me if I'm going to try again for a girl (I've got two boys). This usually happens directly after they've asked what sex my 10 1/2 week old son is.. so the conversation is like this:
Them: "Is it a boy or a girl?"
Me: "He's a little boy"
Them: "Is he your first?"
Me: "No, I have a 4 year old boy also."
Them: "Well, are you going to try again for a girl?"
and sometimes some comments about what trouble two little boys are going to bring.

My answer to the last question is simply, "No." In my mind, it's longer and contains many four letter words.

Anyway, there is a very cute pair of plaid purple trousers that I might get for my son. I figure if I put it with a dark coloured top it won't look too "girly" (for lack of a better word).

ChanelNo5 · 07/12/2001 14:16

Oh dear Inkpen, don't read what Ive just written in the 'Bully in the community' thread! Of course, it is just my opinion and I know that most people understand that and realise that they don't have to take it as gospel. My sons are like the 'stereotypical boy' which is way I made those comments, but of course I know that they are all individuals in their own right and so can be very different. A friend of mine has also got a sensitive little boy like yours, Inkpen, and he's a delight.

JJ - It's true, people always comment on the sex of your children and don't realise how hurtful it can be. My Mum had 3 daughters, and after the birth of the 3rd, someone asked her if she was disappointed she hadn't had a boy, can you imagine!! I had a similar sort of response after having no. 3, especially since I already had a boy and a girl, some people more or less said I didn't NEED to have another one, that I wanted to have another one didn't seem to come into it. You'd have thought I was trying to re-populate the world!

P.S. My ds wears purple as part of his school uniform and he looks great in it!

Mooma · 07/12/2001 16:48

My third daughter was born in the Middle East, and the attitude of the nursing staff to her arrival was regret and disappointment. I found this so hard to deal with. After all, my beautiful baby was healthy! They all 'comforted' me by assuring me I was young enough to try again!
I then had my son (unplanned) and everybody assumed that dh had finally persuaded me to go for the longed-for son and heir. People really are amazingly free and insensitive with their comments. It seems as if you become fair game once you become a mum.
Like everyone else, I find all sorts of differences with all my children, some gender- and some character-related. I agree with Inkpen, that you tend to get far more negative comments with boys.