Do boys get a sudden surge of arseyness at age 7 or is something else going on here?

[RubberDuck]

Over the last few weeks, ds1 has been getting more and more arsey with us: rudeness, backchat, "What-EVa", sulkiness and slamming doors, calling his brother names and generally being pretty unpleasant.

Previously, he's always got on well with his brother (apart from the occasional tiff) but this seems an ongoing campaign atm, and has always been a generally polite, easy going and friendly child.

I wouldn't even mind if he argued back his side of the story, because at the moment he won't even offer any defence to his behaviour. Just goes in a major sulky silence if you try and gently direct his behaviour - so something minor which could have been all cleared with a quick "sorry, mummy" gets blown out of all proportion. I should also add that I'm careful not to be nagging him all the time, pick my battles and also praise good behaviour - it just doesn't seem to be having much effect at the moment.

I'd hoped he was keeping this attitude just for his nearest and dearest, but no I've discovered that at a recent play date he was equally as rude (previous playdates he has been complimented on his manners, so quite a radical change in behaviour!). I'm guessing he's not going to be getting another invite to there!

It's low level, but the frequency of it is causing a horrible atmosphere and I can't just ignore it, but have no idea how to tackle it as my usual strategies seem to be completely failing. He just doesn't seem to care about any consequence.

So, do boys get a burst of hormones or something aged 7? Will this pass? Or should I just resign myself to having Kevin the Teenager in the house six years too early?!!

yes
tehy all do

Goodness I could have written the original post! My DS is 7 and is the same - right down to how he is with his brother who is nearly 4. Some interesting points on here... also glad we are not alone!

Okay, he's home from school.

I've told him he's banned from Gameboy time and banned from playing out with his friends until he's "made good" his behaviour from yesterday.

So he's written an apology letter to his friend's mum (which will be delivered tomorrow, so won't be considered "made good" until after school tomorrow), has to apologise to me and his dad.

Interestingly, he wrote the letter without complaint (although I pretty much had to tell him what to write) - he's most gutted about his Gameboy. Told me he hates me and has been sent to his room.

Zero tolerance starting off well... is it wine o'clock yet?

He's come down again.

I said "are you ready to be nice to us?" I got a sullen "yeah" in response so I said "welcome back" then carried on in the kitchen. 5mins later, little quiet "I'm sorry mummy"
and had a little tearful cuddle.

Aahh Ruberduck, he is still a little boy!

I did have to laugh wehn during on eoutburst, ds accused me of ' being a stupid lesbian!'
When laughed he then says' You don't even know what it means! It means you are gay!'

'Son I am laughinf because I am quite clearly not gay , as i am married to your DAd'

He has been very good so far today....

"Hmm... thinking about how this sort of behaviour is tackled in schools, I wonder if I should ask him how his teacher would react if he behaved like that in front of her?"

Lol, this reminds me of a little routine i play on arsey kids from time to time:

"Do you speak to your mother the way you just spoke to me?"

It really puts them off their guard. Usually they get unsure of their ground and don't know whether to day yes or no. Or they quickly say no.

Next line: If I told your mum how you just spoke to me I bet that she would be very very shocked and disappointed in your because I am sure your mum has taught you good manners.

By now you can normally see them shifting from foot to foot and avoiding eye contact.

At this point I can start to get conciliatory and say things so that they feel that they can start to make up, or if I am feeling more evil, I stay stern but fair and remind them of what is expected of them.

Feel free to change 'mum' to 'teacher' and other bits to make it work at home.

The good thing is, if they actually say 'yes', they do speak to their mums like that, you can quickly say, I am not your mum so don't dare speak to me like that. As a few have said in a rougher school I used to work at.