Are all 2 year old like this?

[fizzbuzz]

Help Please help, dd is driving me nuts.

She will be 2 in July. At them moment has a tantrum/whinge/grizzle about every hour.

e.g Yesterday, wouldn't eat breakfast. Demanded ice cream. I said no. Cue instant tantrum. Took her out of chair, sat her elsewhere and left her to calm down. Next thing she is in the kitchen baging on fridge door screaming ice cream again. I walked out and ignored her...she just carries on and on.

Dinnertime same thing, not about ice cream but something else can't remember what...

Ditto tea time

She bit me the other day when I was freezing outside and I was trying to put her coat on. She also bit me on the knee during the ice cram incidnet when I was trying to get her away from the fridge.

EVERYTHING is a tantrum. I am worn out with it, all day, every day. Naptime, hairbrush time, finished reading story time, throwing drink on floor time.

How long doe it go on for. I read threads on her about 3 year olds, and I can't face another year of this

Hmmm that decisions thing is interesting, will try that. Definitely with coat thing (although why she should need a coat in june which is after all the middle of summer despite the arctic temperatures)

She will always get her shoes as she loves going out..

She is too naughty to take shopping. She will get everything you ask, but likes to clear the entire bottom shelf in supermarket as well

Ds was never like this. He would happily get in the trolley at 5

fizzbuzz we have a 3.9 yr old ds, a 2.1 yr old ds (and 7 week old dd!)

with ds1 we went through everything you describe and then some. with ds2 we are going through it all now. the point of my post is to say that yes, it does get easier -gradually, and usually you notice with hindsight. some degree of logic seems to kick in and they do start to learn for example that when you say no to a treat before lunchtime that there is no point kicking off about it. much lol.

another eg i have is yesterday ds2 wanted to walk to nursery to pick up ds1 at lunchtime. he agreed that if he walked he must hold my hand. as soon as we were out of the door - major meltdown, screaming and pulling his hand away, lying down etc etc. he ended up back in the buggy because i refused to cave in and let him roam the pavement - and road. he simply cannot compute that if he wants to walk he has to hold my hand - no logic. i do remember ds1 being like this too - but now he understands to some extent reasoning/logic/consequence, whatever you want to call it. there you go, proof it does get better!

I asked at dds nursery about getting her to talk more and they suggested that instead of saying - Would you like a drink? try saying would you like apple juice or a fruit shoot ? (obviously I would never give my child a fruit shoot. Have I remembered correctly that these are frowned upon at mumsnet.

The other thing which makes a difference to her behaviour is sugar. It is interesting to hear from other posters that hunger was a factor as I had never really considered this - obviously because my dd can't tell me. If she has a very sugary drink or snack she has a sugar fueled tantrum afterwards. We have noticed this when we have given her a so called fruit juice drink when we have been out thinking that it was pure juice only to find that it was laden with sugar - glucose seems to be particularly bad. Sugar literally fuels the tantrum.

If she misses a sleep it is even worse! Thus emphasising the point about sleep and rest - a guess a routine is very important. It isn't always possible if you are away from home though.

I'm going to try to stop saying no now!

fizzbuzz - my dd clears the shelves too. My visits to shops are fleeting!

tori32 has some great tips

There are some great tips on here.

But, I have given her choices in the past and lately, but even they seem to end up in tantrums somehow, although I'm not sure how this happens.

She will not accept offer of ice cream later/after....just starts shouting "now now"

I think she is scrambling my brian, I feel dazed by it all

poor brian! he is suffering too!

My 2.2 year old has all the tantrums of a 2 year old and sulking and attitude of a teenager!

DP asked her to pass him the wetwipes earlier when he was getting her ready for bed and she threw them at his feet and said 'get it'!

I can't remember DS being so stubborn but I think I might have my rose tinted glasses on. Plus now he is 3 I can blackmail him into good behaviour

just teasing fizzbuzz - I'm having a glass of wine now!

Yes...brian..hmm wonder where he came from?

At just two, they don't remotely understand consequences - but they do need to start associating particular behaviour with particular outcomes. It seems to work if it's kept simple.

Hence:
No coat = I'm cold. [I would always take one in my bag, though! No reason to press the point once you've won...]
Wearing sandals in the rain = wet feet.
Wearing Cinderella ball gown to jump in puddles = ball gown goes in the washing machine.
Whingeing = Mummy saying "I will be able to hear you when you talk in a proper/nice voice".
Aggression towards any member of the family = warning, then removal to another (safe) place.
Any form of rudeness when asked to do something = a very firm "don't you talk to Daddy like that". Repeating the offence = removal from the scene.
Anything remotely resembling pleasant behaviour = lots of attention, smiles, playing etc etc!

My DD (just four) still goes in for whingeing about whatever has taken her fancy (anything from cakes for breakfast to whatever plastic junk she's just seen in Woolies). It's horribly tedious, and once she's in whinge-mode, she can stay in it for what seems like forever (and no matter how many times I remind her that I can't hear her when she's whingeing).

In the great scheme of things, though, it's preferable to DS (just 6)'s flash rages when he doesn't get what he wants!! He's been doing it since he was two, and it is agonising for us all. I think we now just wait for the storm to blow over, but it's not nice while it lasts. Compared to that, DD's whingeing is light relief!!

Oh, and re. supermarkets - I found with DS that giving him his own list was helpful. It also taught him to read lots of common words! Ditto DD. You could also do the same by giving your DD a list with pictures on it. It takes forever to do a shop, but it does usually work.

Well thanks for help. She has been truly horrendous today.

1/2 hour tantrum because she wanted a yoghurt before her dinner. Raisins thrown everywhere. I was in tears at 9.30 this morning as she was so awful. Everything causes a paddy.

She is going for a nap now to recover her pleasant disposition (I wish)

Thanks for help

How has she been the rest of today? I wonder if this is adjustment before going into the next phase so we have to 'ride the storm' a bit!

Thanks for starting off this whole discussion as it has been very useful for me too.

Well she got better.

Nap, and then manic run round park for an hour. She was lovely after that.

How was yours?

What is the next phase?

Actually, the poster who said about hunger was spot on. I forgot about that, but my dd1 has more tantrums late morning and late afternoon and if I ask her whats wrong she won't say, but if I say are you hungry she says yes. I found giving her fruit and a carb snack i.e. healthy eating bar, plain biscuit at 10-1030 helps.

Fizzbuzz, since 18 months my dd1(now 2.3) is like a rollercoaster ride of tantrums, loveableness, whinginess, screaming etc etc. When she is being a nightmare (like now, won't get in highchair, have hair washed, go to bed, stay in bed) it's usually because she is just about to be ill, has been ill or is unsettled in some way (she was really bad when we moved house), the only trouble is there seems to be a few days each month when she is'nt ill or unsettled in some way!

The thing that really worries me is the look of admiration in the eyes of my 1 year old dd2 when dd1 is being really naughty!

I quite agree about the concern over the next phase!

I have collapsed on the sofa for the evening. let's hope it gets easier!

oh just thought - the next thing will be potty training - oh god.

could you have given her a choice eat your dinner then you can have ice crea. not read all thread ust a suggestion

fizzbuzz, i share your pain. My DD (2) is now a fiend. She seems to be on a constant cycle of whinge, bargain, tantrum. Shopping is a nightmare. She has been known to lie on the supermarket floor (Won't go in the trolley, won't walk either). I try to find time to take a deep breath and pretend I don't care (not easy when I'm tired, at my wits end and about to list her on eBay). However, I do care - as now her latest defiant act is to lick the supermarket floor!

When you remember, and are not too exahausted to implement: Distract, Distract, Distract.

I'm going through this with my dd (2.2). I remember trouble with ds at a similar age, but I'm sure he wasn't quite this bad. I should know that they grow out of it (ds is a real love and so well behaved most of the time now), but find myself despairing most of the time. I am exhausted and no longer have the energy to do anything other than survive and wait until she grows out of it.

I do think much of it is tiredness, but can't crack getting her to sleep at the mo as she insists on doing everything herself...which means bedtime drags on far too long. There is no physical way I can get home from work any earlier, so cannot bring bedtime any earlier.

We'll survive, and she is absolutely gorgeous in between our many arguments.

I'm dreading her teenage years though.

Hate to be the bearer of bad news (don't shoot the messenger) but this is classic two yr old behaviour. It feels like it will never end but it does (generally to be replaced with someone else). My dd1 who is now 3.5 was like this every day,day in, day out until about three months ago. Distraction doesn't always work (it exacerbated the tantrums with dd1), my only advice is to take not to add more stress into a situation than there needs to be e.g. like the coat thing.(i don't think they feel the cold like we do, both mine always taking off their coats).. Pick your battles! Don't make everything a fight.. They are just testing the boundaries and as all learning is re-enforced with repetition, they push them every day to see if it's still the same. As for the buggy, you have my sympathy, if it's any consolation I now have a battle getting dd1 out of the buggy so it does come full circle in the end!

Three yrs old come with their own set of challenges but somehow they seem a bit easier to deal with (i think because communication is generally easier)

Good luck

Oh thanks for all your support

Awful this afternoon again Me. Eat your tea,
Her, I don't want that tea, don't like it. 15 mins screaming of "want icepop" (I don't know where she has got that from, I've never given her one ). This then built up to absolute screaming hysteria

At this point, I went out leaving dp to deal with it . This has to be my favourite method...

sorry to hear that tea time was difficult.

Do you think you might have another baby?!

I have a ds alreay. No, had my fill of babies! Dd has been delightful today

Hope yours is being angelic