DD2 is a Pain In The Arse and not nice to be around, how do I improve matters at home?

[Oliveoil]

she is 4 in August, so 3.10yrs

does some sort of madness descend at this age?

she has always been, erm, feisty, but OH MY GOODNESS, atm is just dreadful

she will not do anything she is asked, I am on pins waiting for the next eruption

and this morning she got up at 4.50am, refused to stay in bed, I ended up in tears of frustration and got up and went downstairs at 5.30am

dh in mood, dd1 playing up due to atmosphere - she realises dd2 is getting the attention for being a PITA and wants some I think

so all in all, crapamumdo

I am going to move into the wheelybin in the garden and rock backwards and forwards, please help me make dd2 nice to be around

I thank you
x

OO you started the thread that I was planning to start only I didn't have time as I was shouting "JUST DO IT" i.e. get dressed at my 4 year old.

Sympathies to you and everyone going through similar. I am getting the cheeky/answering back and it drives me crazy. All I want in the morning is to get dressed and get out...not even get dressed in peace necessarily.

Reading Cod's tips and tips from others as well. On days like this I console myself that I might shout but I don't swear. (get very near to it mind)

I get paranoid that a mnetter might live near me and start a thread about me. Something like that horrible woman shouting at her beautiful dds again.

dd1 has in the main been great, if she did something wrong I would say "oh we don't do X in this house dd1" and do a sad face and she would be all sorry mummy

talking worked with her and the one time I did naughty step she was distraught so I didn't bother again

she is v sensitive though and a COMPLETELY different character to dd2

I can't see me dragging anyone to their room anytime soon though, I don't know, feels a bit hmmmmmmmm, not that I would judge anyone else, just can't see my soft arse self doing it

I screech BECAUSE I SAID SO about 298 times a day

Could be my two! DS is nearly 8, DD nearly 5. DS is generally thoughtful and well behaved. DD is generally a PITA and a nightmare. I suspect we made this rod for our back. Certainly DD has DH wrapped around her little finger.

Both descended into pure hellish behaviour during half-term hols (we were away!) very selfish, always fighting, very rude, answering back etc.

Normally we reward good anything with 5p. We had a crack down- not only did 5ps stop but CD player got confiscated.

DS reverted to norm within 24 hrs. Still trying to get DD there. She just doesn't care. (apparently like me who turned into a complete nightmare aged 3-18 !)

Need to sort DD out because to be perfectly honest alot of time i just don't want to know her.

It's the younger child isn't it.

Someone told me the other day that the older child is "good" to get attention, the younger child is "naughty" to get attention.

How very true in our household!

I know about 4 mums from school, all with 2 girls, all the same - dd1's great, dd2's hard work

second child syndrome

I have no advice but with 5 kids my house is very often a battlefield

Dt1 (aged 8) is the worst and is very rude, sometimes aggresive and I know its all attention seeking but with 5 kids my time is split on so many ways.

Dd4 is nearly 5 and getting to be a pian now but she saves it all for when daddy gets in from work Poor sod comes home to world war 3 most days!

I'm not sure it's only second children, but di think it may be girl related...... My dd is no1 and she is so argumentative she can have a row with herself! I sometimes worry about her. She's 3 going on 13. I recognise myself too in the screeching 'BECAUSE I SAID SO' many times a day, and feel like i'm constantly on her case for something. It's hard isn't it? Some days i try the 'right, no shouting today' routine to see if it helps any, I generally don't get past the first hour without some incident or other.
One thing that does help (a little) is advance warning, when i can see her revving up i let her know that she will be going to her room if she doesn't get a handle on it!

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yes, I need to let them sort it out themselves but I cannot abide the whining and telling tales

righty ho, will be stern mum then but when you are tired it is so easy to give in

the road is blocked atm on the way to work due to the policeman being shot (!) and I was delayed on the way in, I may be 'delayed' on the way home too and go via the shops

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That's where you say "I'm not interested...I'm not interested...I'm not interested" until they get bored and go away.

I do the not interested thing

and say GO AWAY a lot

but they follow me around

honestly, I have moaned about this before, they are like fecking magnets

Agree with cod.
Take them to some open space and let them fight/bicker it out. It's not nice when

a. some lovely people are trying to read their books in peace

b. you're worrying they'll really injure one another or the littlest will just cry for ever and therefore demand your attention even more (making older one bit more jealous!)

c. you're sooo tired you could sleep in a wheely bin.

I say things 3 times. Gonna start just saying them twice now and do some selective ignoringtoo. Thanks ladies. Hope some of these great ideas work for you, if all else fails look to the skies and scream....quietly.

if you are saying stuff over and over wha about flashcards? Or notes/pics of some kind (can DD2 read?). I think kids can edit out a lot of talking (blah blah blah NO blah blah blah is what I heard a lot when younger ). Family rules type things? ROW = ROOM, that kind of thing?

(if you are feeling particulary stressed, get them to design and colour them in as a Fun Activity )

(and I speak as a stroppy DD2)

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MIL has just phoned and said dd2 has a 40 min sleep and then had a tantrum/strop for nearly an hour

ffs

I rememebr your other rthread

I have two girls also, and they fight all th etime.
Dd1 used to be the quiet, sensitive one. Now she is a PITA a lot. She is 7.
Dd2 is 4 in August and is actually quite good company now. But she was awful for a while, in the winter I think.

They won't play otgether, only fight.
Dd2 wants dd1's toys, she won't share, dd2 screams, dd1 screams back, I pour more wine and turn the radio up.

I truley sympathise, OO.

Not long til she atrts school!!

My dd1 and dd2 fought last week over who had more raw carrot sticks. dd2 has never in her life til this week wanted to eat raw carrot .

dd2 pushed dd3 down the stairs last week too. For no obvious reason. sometimes they just aren't very nice.

I have resorted to pushing them out of the house and shutting the door on them. They yell and I am embarrassed at what our neighbours will think but at least they are further away from me with their fighting.

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I'm not convinced it is the parenting. I parent very differently from OO from what she says. And my mother parented very differently from me, but we fought too. maybe it's just inevitable. Whatever Siblings without Rivalry says. I had that book but everyone borrows it off me rather desperately so I haven't read it lately.

I sometimes think it's cos I had my children too close together (17 months between dd1 and dd2, and dd2 is quite competitive, wants to be top dog). but my friends' children also fight with 5 year age gaps.

22 months between mine

are you saying I need parenting classes cod? harrumph

Hmm, I have 3.5 yeras between them

Think any age gap is terrible!

Dd1 has just come in off the bus, ran upstairs and slammed the door on dd2.
Dd2 has in turn pushed open the door and then shouted at dd1 for being mean and not letting her in.

Anyway, this is OO's thread!

oh no, this is a free for all moan-a-thon, feel free to rant