Do you children help themselves to food?

[pamplemousse]

My dd who is 18m goes into my bag to get cakes when she is hungry. Cakes are apple ricecakes btw!
My stepmother thinks this is wrong, that children shouldn't help themselves, that they should ask.
What do you do/think?

Oops, sorry! that was meant for Thomcat!

Thomcats post made me laugh because she is describing my house. Old bits of food everywhere. Just did a bit of cleaning and found jam in the cd-player and at least 7 different types of cereal behind the sofa-cushions (as well as a couple of teeth which didn't make it to the tooth fairy). Yes, I can see why people wouldn't want to live like that(big sigh).

I don't think it's 'wrong' but my 3 yr old son has to ask, because otherwise he would just graze all day and never eat a proper, balanced meal.

biTillymint - hello, and thank you, I'm actually not that slim but bless your heart
My DD has Down's syndrome so health/diet v important. People with Down's syndrome can often be a little on the larger side. Charlotte only started walking a year ago and is 6 now so doesn't get the same level of exercise as her peers. Her sister is skinnymalinky but Charlotte already has a cute little pot belly, lovely little chubby legs and podgy delicious hands. All totally fine but I just don't want her becoming uncomfortable. She has enough to contend with in life!

Should add that once they have cleared it with the finance department I am happy for dcs (8 and 11) to have a certain amount of independence in the kitchen, make themselves toast and (at least in the case of dd) a hot drink. And I would not turn down offers of cooking supper or baking a cake.

My DD 10 and DS 12 tend to help themselves, although there are things they know to ask for ie crisps or biscuits.

Ds gets himself breakfast before school which usually involves scrambled egg, but hasn't managed to get to the stage of washing it up yet
They both have good appetites and neither of them are overweight. In fact DD is probably on the skinny side. DS is well built but has no fat on him. They both have had a huge growth spurt recently, so are bottomless pits when it comes to food at the moment.

Mine are tenagers now so they do help themselves. But even now my 18 year old will often ask if she can have something to eat!
They didn't help themselves when they wre little.

My DD is the same age and she always has to ask. Otherwise she would be scoffing away close to mealtimes and not eat any lunch/dinner. She usually asks a lot before mealtimes, which I really like, as I then know that she's hungry.

Interesting... I was pondering this the other day when my 13 month old baby went into the kitchen and proudly brought me a plum pot for her to eat.

I was so impressed I gave it to her.

We have a hungry cupboard that ds (3) can help himself too. Only contains things like rice cakes, nuts, raisins and occasionally crackers. He is allowed unlimited fruit.
He is a very active and skinny wee boy and always on the go so tends to eat a lot.
He doesn't have to ask, but if we are at someone else's house he never just helps himself always asks.
If I had to get him something everytime he wanted something I would never have time to sit down and go on mumsnet

No they don't - they could if they wanted to, but they tend to ask.