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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Dummy orThumb??

27 replies

mummy2t · 01/06/2008 13:15

Hi all,
My little one is 15weeks old. He doesnt have a dummy but has now started to suck his thumb, only occasionally as he is kinda still working it out. if he finds he needs comfort i dont mind but not sure whether to introduce a dummy instead. i was a thumb sucker as a child i didnt give it up until my early teens!! needed braces on my teeth, the whole works. So as you can imagen i am abit worried he might go down the same path. i keep thinking that with a dummy i can get him off it eventually. whats everyone else's view on this??
Also at the moment he is on cow and gate number 1 milk, i am not going to start weening him at 4 months but thought about puttin him on the hungrier baby milk just as abit of a 'step up' before i start to wean at 5 to 6 months. Any views??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Snowstorm · 01/06/2008 13:22

I don't really know but it was something I was thinking about the other day - if they suck their thumbs then you get a bit more precious about them grubbing around on floors (particularly at restaurants) once they start crawling and also I think it's a harder habbit to break (although DD1 who's 5 is trying her hardest ... DD2 who's 4 won't even try) BUT on the other hand, their thumbs are always with them and so you don't have to grub around trying to find their dummies at tense moments in the car or late at night whatever. I'm not a huge fan of dummies (a bias I grew up with as my mother was really anti the things) and think they look strange on children who walk and my DD's took to their thumbs without there being any question of it, so actually it didn't end up being a decision to make.

Can't comment on the weaning thing ... that was 3+ years ago and I can't really remember and I expect things have changed even since then!

gagarin · 01/06/2008 13:25

I had braces and have never sucked my thumb. They are not necessarily related.

Children who suck dummies are good sleepers early on but can be terrible later on - parents have been known to get up every hour to plug the dummy back in to a wailing baby.

Thumb suckers sleep well - and they can't lose their thumbs in the bedsheets.

I know which one I'd prefer.

Also the "hungrier baby milk" is a marketing con. Absolutely no point in changing milk unless your lo in taking 9oz bottles and still yelling in hunger! Also can lead to constipation in some.

Stay on the milk he's on until weaning and beyond.

Original poster

mummy2t · 01/06/2008 13:30

thanks for advice,
He is sleeping really well at the moment. has a bottle at 10pm and i dont hear another peep of him til 6/7am next morning, so i suppose i could ruin that by giving a dummy.

OP posts:

Snowstorm · 01/06/2008 15:03

If he's sleeping that well then DON'T CHANGE A THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tigerschick · 01/06/2008 15:11

My DD wouldn't take a dummy at all. At about 4 months she started sucking her thumb. It wasn't a conscious decision.

I had braces and never sucked my thumb either.
WRT the milk: as Snowstorm says; if he is sleeping well then leave things as they are!!

NellyTheElephant · 01/06/2008 15:31

To be honest if they are going to be a thumb sucker I don't think you have much choice in the matter. Both my DDs had dummies initially, and sucked them like thier lives depended on it whenever I detatched them from my breast! But by the time they got to about 4 months they rejected dummies completely in favour of their thumbs. If you put the dummy in they'd just shove their thumbs in too and suck both for a while(!) then after a short while the dummy would pop out and thumb would remain. I HATE thumb sucking (paranoid as I sucked mine until I was practically in my 30s!!!! (only in moments of stress I hasten to add) and had hoped I might avoid that habit for the girls but not a chance.

DD1, now 3, had her thumb almost permanently rammed in her mouth and I have just taken the rather sad step of starting to paint anti nail bite lotion on it during the day, which has worked amazingly well, she gets a bit cross with me putting it on in the morning, but I don't have to force her - she'll hold her hand out herself, even if it is under protest, and is remarkably relaxed about it really. She's shown no sign of being upset during the day without sucking and it's a joy to finally see her face occasionally! I don't think i'd try and stop her sucking it at night though.

I'm not sure about the teeth thing, as I said I was a huge thumb sucker but have perfectly straight teeth and never had braces. DH never sucked his thumb and had train tracks, head gear, the works, so if my two do end up with dodgy teeth it's just as likely to be his genetics as the thumb sucking I think....

Original poster

mummy2t · 02/06/2008 11:04

thanks for advice everyone, think i am going to leave everything as it is, if he sucks his thumb then so be it, i am not going to worry about it.

OP posts:

TinkerbellesMum · 02/06/2008 11:21

I don't like dummies so decided I wouldn't give one. The hospital don't give them or advise them in the unit because most people in the unit are trying to establish BF. There was one baby (a term one) who had a dummy and prevented the nurses looking after the prem babies who needed them more because she kept spitting her dummy out. Of course as soon as she started crying it spread around the ward. I ended up very glad I hadn't planned on using a dummy.

She sucks her thumb very rarely. She looked like she would be a thumb sucker early on, but she didn't really bother. She seems to do it a bit at the moment, but not even once a day.

If your son is managing to sleep then don't change anything. Dummies can increase the risk of SIDS if they spit them out and it's not put back in.

Bunch · 02/06/2008 11:26

My son is a thumb sucker. The nurses in neonatal intensive care tried to give him a dummy as a comfort when he was nil by mouth but he wouldn't take it. Started sucking his thumb and still does (he's almost 4). It doesn't worry me, I get the feeling that once he starts school and his chums start laughing at him, he'll soon stop! I think it's cute anyway!!

TinkerbellesMum · 02/06/2008 11:32

Bunch, amazing the difference! The NNU Tink was in wouldn't offer a dummy, they had to be suggested by the parent.

Niecie · 02/06/2008 11:35

I was a thumb sucker for a very long time (only when going to sleep in the end though) and didn't need braces so I agree that they aren't necessarily related.

I don't like dummies personally and have never offered one even though DS1 did love to suck. They will never lose their thumbs and wake you up in the night like they might if they lost their dummy.

I don't have any experience but I would have thought that he would have trouble taking a dummy now that he has found his thumb.

Know nothing about the change to hungrier baby milk really but I would have thought that if your LO is sleeping well he isn't hungry and doesn't need the next milk. You don't want to change it and find the new milk gives him tummy ache or something. It could really mess up his sleep.

Bunch · 02/06/2008 11:44

TinkerbellsMum, the nurses on ITU did ask me first if they could try a dummy. I couldn't BF so was planning on bottle feeding anyway so that might have made a difference. Luckily he was only NBM for 48hrs so he didn't scream for too long!

TinkerbellesMum · 02/06/2008 13:42

That could make a difference I suppose. I did hear of one woman they asked but she had an extreme prem and there's some thought that it can help them. She refused and said she had perfectly good nipples that her DD could use if she really needed to suck!

Blandmum · 02/06/2008 13:43

Dummy, as you can take them away.

I teach in secondary and I still see kids thumb sucking, at 15 and 16 (when under pressure)

I've yet to see a child of 15-16 use a dummy in exams

TinkerbellesMum · 02/06/2008 13:51

Tink's godfather's teen daughters suck a dummy. Apparantly a lot of their friends do.

Medowflowers · 02/06/2008 13:53

ds2 sucks his thumb. I have tried to give him a dummy but he either wont let you put it into his mouth, or if you do get it in, he spits it out. Sometimes its not our decision to make! He sucks it when he is cutting teeth and when he is tired.

I suppose that there are worse things to do. I just think these days that not every thing they do when so small has to be 'taken on'.

He is 9 1/2 mths now, and has sucked his thumb from being weeks old. Neither mine nor dh's family have had a thumb sucker before. I cant say that I am concerned.

Medowflowers · 02/06/2008 13:54

He sucks the thumb when cutting teeth, or tired. Doh!

Original poster

mummy2t · 02/06/2008 13:56

this is what i am scared of, i dont what him to be sucking his thumb in years to come the way i did, ds1 had a dummy and at the age of 3 we told him that he was a big boy and didnt really need them anymore, he picked up all his dummy's and threw them in the bin! never looked back! not so easy with the thumb if they do continue to suck on it, i really am suck between a rock and hard place with this one!

OP posts:

henrys7thwife · 02/06/2008 14:12

My take is this:

As a child, I sucked my thumb. At the age of 5, my teeth were forming so badly that the dentist actually ENCOURAGED my mother to put me on a dummy. I of course, being steadfastly stubborn, refused, even when my mum put disgusting tasting liquid on my thumb, wrapped it up, etc. at night to keep it from deforming my mouth further.

I had to get braces at 12, one year after I stopped sucking my thumb at night.

Dummies, in my opinion, are much better. YOU control when/if they have them, they are quicker to get rid of when the time comes, and good for naps. If he's settling well at night, don't use one. But for naps, and other comfort throughout the day, great.

Also find dummies are great for when they're on an aeroplane or a busy train stopped in a tunnel, in the shop, etc and kick off. Quick, easy way to settle them for a few minutes just to ease the pain of everyone around you. But generally, they won't need them as much. Thumbsuckers control when they have it - can be better to find at night, but also worse because they fall into the habit and suck more and more throughout the day. Remember being humiliated in early school years for doing it.

Also, they make dummies that glow in the dark now, for babies to find them easier.

Mammina · 02/06/2008 16:52

my daughter (16m) is a thumb sucker, which doesn't bother at that young age me except that her thumb is really manky because of it - she has a lump of hard skin where she's been sucking it

brio · 11/06/2008 09:59

my ds had the same thing. we had a choice of a dummy and the thumb. did the decision that it would be harder to break the thumb sucking habit. so, now he has dummy. we love it. he only has it when he is upset. he stop sucking thumb and has deddy bears- bed cloths instead(he is theeting and gums itch)
anyway wanted to say we never leave dummy for night and he doesnt miss it. it helps him to fall a sleep. once sleeping the dummy falls off and he doesnt want it anymore. so we dont need to wake up in the middle of the night

nik76 · 02/07/2008 08:13

Mine is 14 weeks and has sucked her thumb for almost a couple of months - it looks so cute!!!

My mum is totally aganist it and says I will regret it and I should give her a dummy. The fact is she has choosen the thumb over the dummy she just won't take it (mum says to keep putting it in and hold it there!). She oly does it to get herself to sleep, sometimes she is sucking so hard and loudly it wakes me up in the middle of the night, but it makes me smile!!

jammi · 02/07/2008 08:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BlaDeBla · 02/07/2008 13:58

At least you can't suck a thumb when you're doing something with your hands! I have used clove oil on dd#1s thumb, which she hates, and I've heard that vinegar can be useful too. For now a plaster seems to do the trick and takes all the fun away. I think it's a personal choice. I really don't like seeing big children in prams with a pacifier jammed in their jaws. Not a good look!

freakypenguin · 02/07/2008 14:14

i sucked my thumb until at secondary school and never had braces...

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