Its not funny anymore, ds's behaviour is UNBEARABLE

[cheekymonk]

I feel I know what some people may say in response but here I am anyway. I know that 3 year olds are difficult and demanding etc etc but I am just finding ds uncontrollable to the point that i am having suicidal thoughts.
Don't panic, I don't intend to act on them as I couldn't do that to dh and ds but I feel so bloody trapped and unhappy! Today while I was on the phone to my mum he upset whole blackcurrant drink onto his table and light coloured carpet. Said carpet is already minging from all of his other accidents and it is such a battle to maintain basic levels of hygiene!!
He has suddenly started weeing on floor, in empty bath etc despite being very good at potty training. So cleared all this up and ventured into town to buy new shoes. This all went fine until he decided to crawl on floor in tescos until I had to frogmarch him out of there.
At lunch I got him a sandwich combo thing with drink etc and he wanted banana and gingerbread man on top. I got sandwich pack for me and drink. He also ate half of my sandwiches and the rest of his! (Weight is not issue btw he is perfectly healthy) I feel worn down and totally unempowered.
Tonight he emptied another drink all over rice pudding and tipped the lot on the floor. we cleared this up together and as I put pyjamas on he wets the bed!!!!
It is just relentless and so f*ing miserable!
This on top of dh being away and stressful debt/skint situation is just hopeless...
Any advice anyone...please

Sibutramine has very similar effects in some people.

I've got a 3 year-old, and to be honest your ds doesn't sound too bad compared with her! I definately tink it's very very difficult age; DD1 was also an absolute nightmare when she was 3 - I can recall a plane journey during which she spat in my face and fairly scratched my eyes out
I don't mean to trivialise what you're going through, jsut empathising
I find 3 year-olds really fucking hard to deal with: I frequently feel like banging my head against a wall after a bad day with DD2, and I'm reasonably sure I'm not going to find it any easier when DD3 gets to that age..

I am on reductil which has sibutramine in it. I haven't been on them that long and am aware that they suppress serotonin slightly whilst ads uncrease serotonin levels (think I have that right). I would say that lack of sleep has been a major issue. DS was waking up a bit during the night week before last which led to a few anxious nights. Then we had a mouse which also made me anxious and it stemmed from there.
It is something I will keep an eye on though as I would obviously give tablets up if I thought they were making me a monster mother.
It has made me more realistic hearing that ds behaviour is normal and that there are ways of improving some things. It still always comes down to how I deal with it though.

Sibutramine can cause insomnia and anxiety and isn't really recommended for people with a history of depression.

I see. I do feel that I am ok on reductil and that it is life events at the moment. Controlling my weight and not stuffing myself silly is making me feel much better about myself so I would be scared for that to go as well but I will watch it now I am more aware of the tablet's effects.
I have rung NPFS but neither myself or husband have heard anything yet.

God, I can so relate to this thread. Am having another miserable day from hell with with my two and a half year old. Its only 2.30 and already I've had enough! Made the decision recently to go from working 4 days to 3 and I am seriously regretting it, dont know how I will fill the extra day. Went to cheapy shop today and bought loads of paint, pens and colouring books to try and keep dd entertained, got it all set up, got her changed into special painting clothes and guess what she wasnt interested, just kept saying she wanted to go to nursery which she does for 3 days now. I just feel that I am not enough to keep her entertained and I blame nursery for this- nurseries are full of other children which my daughter loves and when its just her and me, even when we break up the day seeing other people, its not enough for her she gets bored. I thought I was alone with this and my child was just 'difficult' but it seems its more common than I thought which is slightly reassuring. I've described my daughters behaviour to friends who have children and yet they never seem to relate to the things I describe ie the tantrums, hysteria, throwing, biting and hitting...

DaisyM, I know, my ds used to make me feel that he would rather be at nursery whereas now he lets me know that he wants constant entertaining! I also find that the things he wants are usually the last things that he needs as he will fight sleep until he just zonks out on settee. He is intelligent too, which I think is part of it.
I had a day off yesterday while ds went to nursry. It was fantastic!! Spent half day cleaning and doing all things I should then went to see Sex and the City and it was such a tonic! Would recommend.
NPFS have been to see me and let me know of some cookery classes for ds that I didn't know took place that aren't far from me at all. We discussed debts thoroughly and she is writing a report etc so will wait and see on that one. Boss has told dh it would be "financially irresponsible" to leave navy and dh is kind of putting it all on me, saying he will leave if things are that bad. My heart wants him to but my head tells me it is not sensible and to try and hang on. He is just going to be away so much this year and I am so sick of it...
Have booked a docs appt to discuss possibility of going back on ads too/current situation so I feel btter for not just sitting on everything but not sure what way ahead is...
Thanks everyone for your input x

Hi
I think you need to structure your day and relax a bit. His behaviour is absolutely normal, not wrong or naughty.
You could sit with him whilst he has his juice and eats, even if you just have a cup of tea.
That way you can teach him about holding the cup properly etc.
I think children of this age need to be very active, as in playgroup,activity in the morning, home for lunch and rest, and park/visit friends in the afternoon for example.
I don't understand why you would be a sahm if you don't enjoy it to be honest.
You can get a few hours free at nursery, but I y=think you just have to find a way to move forward with him as he reaches a new stage of his developement.

Thanks mrsruffallo but I am not sahm, I work 3 days a week. I would work more but nursery tires him out too much if I do any more than 3 days so seems to be best balance.
I def agree I need to structure the day and that he is active which I need to accomodate. Its just easier said than done, I think!! He seems impossible to please no matter how hard I try!

If your dh is away a lot, then you are in effect a single parent. Not emotionally perhaps, but on a day to day basis.

I think that is hard. I remember being a single parent when my ds was 3. It was a dreadful year, I just didn't know what to do with him. But do you know what...he turned 4...and was delightful from then on.

He will get older, and it does get easier, but it is harder if you are on your own a lot.

Manwhile, my dd who is nearly 2 behaves like your first post every day. Has been deliberately pouring ater/juice onto floor all day, and whinging for more when I wouldn't let her. I can guarantee she will tantrum and lie down in any supermarket. I just ignore and retreat to where she can just keep me in eyeshot. Then she stands up, and pulls everything of the shelves etc etc etc.

They do grow up......

Thanks fizzbuzz.I am actually starting to think that I am just a really shit rubbish parent and that it is all my fault! I def need to learn to take it less personally and find some way of coping with it.
Roll on age 4!!!!

Well to add to all of this... ds is still weeing deliberately in bedroom and lounge only. Not at nursery, not at playdate, just at home. I had visit from Naval support worker this morning and ds tried to wee in front of him too. SW said that he will refer ds to a theraputic group of some kind to help me manage and understand his behaviour. DS was on his worst behaviour which I was pleased about then noone thinks I am lying!
Nursery nurse then called and was brilliant. SHe said that I need to get ds to see consequences of his behaviour rather than punishing him per se. She said his behaviour was v attention seeking and that he does need a lot of attention/stimulation which can be typical of kids who are given alot of attention/stimulation. He is used to it so expects it kind of thing. At one point ds was shouting and we walked out of room and sat down next door. She distracted him with keyboard and it was fantastic! It completely worked
I think I have got so bloody frazzled and pissed off and everything feels so negative but seeing her do that suddenly made the lightbulb go on! I have a degree but where motherhood is concerned I seem to be thick- it is so obvious when someone else does it! DS then threw all his jigsaws down the stairs. She put them in a bag out of his sight whilst I gave him time out in room. When he came downstairs he eventually said sorry after some persuasion and it dawned on me that perhaps I have just been lazy. I do let him watch too much tv and let him have his own way and gain complete control and them feel worn down.
It is starting to make sense... I still need to get more structure into the day and have a lot of work to do but I need to fight to get a decent relationship with ds and most importantly for him to be a well rounded and balanced child. Nursery nurse also said I need to lighten up which is so true but it has all got to a point where it doesn't seem funny, just miserable. Still acceptance is a step to recovery or something isn't it??

If he's eating that much he may well be having a growth spurt, which would also explain the accidents and moods. Twill pass!

Yes could be Bridie3, he seems insatiable at times and indifferent at others! All other unenjoyable phases have passed so will add this to the list!! Thanks x

Large glass of wine.