Forcing children to hug/kiss other adults

[Mavornia]

Comments made by seeker and frannyandzoey on another thread made me remember how much I hate adults forcing children to give them hugs/kisses etc and now that my ds is 1 it's something I want to think about how to handle

my in-laws have actually "fallen out" with their other grandchild when she didn't want to kiss them - she's only 2 and she was forced to sit in the corner and made to say sorry and then give them all kisses while crying

I live in the middle east so I guess it's partly a cultural thing too here - you routinely go and kiss all family on both cheeks when arriving/leaving - my in-laws felt insulted when she didn't want to kiss them (though they are very stroppy and childish...)

however, i feel vey strongly that my ds is his own little person with his own likes and dislikes and inclinations

I suppose I'm after tips on managing my in-laws behaviour without them getting insulted and the best way to start telling my ds that he can say no

I used to hate it so much when I was little, and there is no way that I would force DD to kiss someone that she didn't want to, or force another child to kiss me. It's about learning that your body is your own and that you have personal space. I do blowing kisses with older toddlers and children and smaller toddlers we just laugh it off as being shy.
Having said that, DD gets kissed constantly by me and by DH. She's old enough now to let us know if she doesn't like it though, and we just can't help ourselves, she is so kissable.

this is probably coming when you have all just moved on with your lives, but imo as a childcarer and mother, do not force your children to kiss hug relatives. We all want to trust our rellies however the truth is a great amount of abuse happens with trusted adults. IF you force this issue will your child trust you again. I realise its not easy esp if expected within your culture, however your first priority relationship must be your childs. Let them see wht is expected and allways give the choice. But the more of an issue you make the more it will become one. For all. Just explain to ils and then the ball is in their court..