Is my child strange??

[VictorianSqualor]

I was going to post this last ngiht after watching CoOT but couldn't be bothered, but the programme got me thinking about DD(7).

She never tantrums, I couldn't imagine a time she would say 'No' to me, or back chat, or argue, or even strop. The most I get off her is a miserable face and I have to ask her about ten times what's wrong before she'll tell me.

Anything I ask her to do, she does, straight away (maybe not to the standard I'd like, but she does it).

I thought this was just what normal children did and when I've seen people post on here saying their child (over the age of about 3/4) is misbehaving have been quite shocked, but nearly every child on that programme last night behaved this way.

So much so I'm almost worried about DD's 'good' behaviour. DP thinks it's just because she is so wishy-washy that nothing really bothers her therefore she has no need/want to put her foot down so to speak but I'm worrying now it might be more.

Mine (aged 7) is a bit like this. He has never really had a tantrum in his life. The worst we get is just a slightly stroppy "No!" or a pulled face. He really likes to follow rules, and if he sees someone else having a tantrum/throwing a wobbly, he looks on in a kind of fascinated appalled way. I think though, he is quite a deep thinker, and likes to reason things out, and we always discuss things a lot which helps. But even when he was a toddler, when that sort of approach was harder, he never really misbehaved deliberately.

I don't really know why he is like this (although I would say I was similar as a child)but I'm not particularly worried about it. He seems fairly well adjusted, happy, sociable etc.

Lol, Meandmyjoe, dp always says she'll be a nightmare teen and we'll clash terribly.

I asked her last night if she ever gets angry, she said yes, but with her little brother so she just tells me and I make him leave her alone, anger resolved, I asked her if she ever gets fed up, wants to say No or just argue back with me and she said sometimes, but if she did I'd just tell her off or ignore her anyway so why bother, which I suppose is what we try to teach when we ignore tantrums anyway! So I don't feel quite as worried.

I am very very .

I wouldn't worry about it - you are just very lucky to have such a well behaved child. Can she come round & give my boys some lessons!!

Both my DD's are like this, particularly DD2. She just never gives DH or I a moment's trouble and has been like this since day one. That said, I have been raising my two DSs (really stepsons) since they were babies/toddlers) and both of them have emotional problems and always have and continue to frequently exhibit the most appalling behaviour. I'm sure I would have an entirely different view of parenting if I only had my DDs.

We went throught the terrible 2, but my children have not had tantrums after the age of 3/4 either. They can be a bit moody though. I was not aware it is normal to have tantrums when you are 7. Really? Whenever I see an older child throwing a tantrum I assume there must be some SN-issue.

After I posted on here last night, I watched COOT with dh (we had taped it from Wednesday) and at the end he said "Oh dear!"

I said "Oh dear" what? And he said there must be something wrong with ds, because he never throws tantrums/deliberately misbehaves.

I said just be grateful then, I don't think there is anything wrong with him, he's just a well-behaved (and very happy) chap.

I'm a scary disciplinarian bitch and my children still say no, quite regularly, and refuse in more passive ways quite a lot of the rest of the time. Strong wills all round I think. Daughter 2 (10.8) had a kind of tantrum just last week- sounded like a 3 yr old, until I told her to have a bath and go to bed or come back downstairs when she was feeling more human. She had a bath and came back downstairs feeling human.

What is she like at school? If she is the same then I don't think that you need to worry, it is just personality. If she has tantrums or is badly behaved at school then you need to look into it more. It is probably just personality. I don't remember having tantrums as a child-it was too much energy and wouldn't have achieved anything.

I had thought that too Fairymum, that at that age tantrums etc must be a result of either SN or not the best parenting(for whatever reason), it was only watching CoOT that it seemed more usual for older children to behave this way.

Abbey, she is pretty much the same at school from what her teacher has said.

If she is the same at school then I shouldn't worry. Very often they are badly behaved at school if their home life is very repressive.

I'm also a scary disciplinarian bitch. DD1 is just like yours (hasn't had a tantrum since about 2), might cry a bit if she gets told off but otherwise totally chilled, DS1 otoh is the strong silent type who becomes incandescent with rage and upset but can't say a word (him I do have concerns over, despite being a sdb)... DD2 we'll wait and see - she's the most vocal and openly rebellious (also sn), but apparently 'normal' as far as Winston thingy seems to think... I have to say I was totally appalled at that child's behaviour in the front of the car on the way back/ to? tennis lessons. The child wouldn't have gone near the place again if he'd been mine. See? Told you I was a scary... etc...
as I was only saying to someone in RL the other day - the only good reason for playdates is to remind yourself that your children are actually quite well behaved... perhaps I should have added, or watch CoOT?
shall I go now?

and if they say 'you let him do that, why not me?' I say 'becasue I don't love you as much'...
oh dittany, psychoanalyse that, please.
she's a normal child!!!!

anyone know why I can spell psychoanalyse and not because?

Dittany, he has never said as much in front of her and tbh it's me that describes her as wishy-washy, he just says that he thinks it's probably why she behaves this way.

I don't really 'do' anger, I think it's pointless unless it will acheive something so if I get angry I think 'what can I do about it to make sure it doesn't happen again' Apart from that I walk away.

My children express anger as we do. That doesn't involve screaming shouting or throwing things.
My DH and I actually row without screaming and shouting. I know . Weird isn't it .
We don't abuse each other or call each other names or score point. Seriously - so shoot me.

My DD can express herself perfectly well and has a full range of emotions.
Just because we are much more comfortable that our children can tantrum , that it is fine, does not mean that they have to, or that they lack anything if they don't.

FWIW, my three year old DS is in prime tantrum mode at the moment, as was DD at this age, she just grew out of it, which to me was normal.

Right at this very moment in time, my 8 year old DS is having a tantrum about me sending in a certain pair of his trainers for his PE lessons!

That he wants or doesn't want?

glad to see you are ignoring him then .

He would so be going to bed now if he were mine...

He wants a certain pair of trainers (only cheapy ones too!), which I have sent into school for his PE lessons. He has other trainers at home, but he is having a tantrum about the fact he can't get to this certain pair!
I am ignoring him, and I am getting the "You aren't listening to me, so I'm never listening to you again" line.

ah Pink
rather you than me

My DD (5) came out with "everytime you speak to me you are just making me more upset" the other day. Done in the style of a wilting damsel from a victorian melodrama