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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

4 year old keeps touching himself......what do I say to him

30 replies

Sunshine78 · 20/05/2008 10:39

My DS has never really bothered about his willy. However just recently he keeps showing it to us and saying how big its grown. Just recently he's taken to holding it on the outside of his clothes (asked if he wants a wee and he doesn't) when asked what he's doing says he's giving his willy a rest! Then last night (he had just had a wee) his hand was down his trousers. I told him this wasn't very polite in front of people and again I was told he was resting his willy. When I removed his hand I noticed he was standing to attention

Has any one any ideas on how to handle this please, I come from a family of girls so a boy is new territory for all.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

suzywong · 20/05/2008 10:42

don't make a big deal of it and most of all don't make him feel ashamed in anyway of his normal curiosity or bodily functions. I don't think politeness comes in to it one way or the other.
it's going to be his life-long friend so he and it may as well get acquainted sooner rather than later.
Just tell him it's a private thing, playing with a willy, and he can do it as much as he likes when he's alone.

foxythesnowfox · 20/05/2008 10:46

Ignore it. Small boys do this.

If you make him feel like he is doing something 'wrong' he'll be all the more curious.

My DS2 is positively obsessed with it (he's 5 now). ignore it. Its perfectly natural.

Actually, come to think of it, DP still finds comfort putting his hand on his crown jewels

MehgaLegs · 20/05/2008 10:47

Agree with suzy - like you came from a family of girls and I now have four sons. Bath time is the worst, they all have a right old fiddle, DS3 is obsessed with threading things on to his at the moment.

DS4 has just had an op on his in which he had to be circumsised so now the other three are trying to make their willies look like DS4's.

MehgaLegs · 20/05/2008 10:48

Missed out the I, as in I came from a family of girls.

Original poster

Sunshine78 · 20/05/2008 10:50

Thanks for that I seem to live in a female world as he is the only boy in family and all friends have girls so its totally new territory for me!

I dont want him to be ashamed of his friend or make him feel he cant talk to me or his dad about this sort of thing, know a bit young yet!

OP posts:

Wolfgirl · 20/05/2008 10:53

Yes, I dont think my DS ever has it out of his hand tbh, especially when watching TV.

NotDoingTheHousework · 20/05/2008 10:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Wolfgirl · 20/05/2008 10:55

this is such a funny thread.... my DS does everything that everyone has posted. Soooooo funny! oh and he tries to dangle his one over DDs head in the bath, beat that!

bubblagirl · 20/05/2008 10:56

my 3 yr old is always touching it all day long not for pleasure as such but feels nice and its just hanging there lol

it gets pushed in pinned to the carpet and dont think his hand is ever off it i dont pay any attention now

if he has nappy on his hands are down it as potty training its out all the time so cannot lay off it lol

perfectly normal just have to train your own mind that its not the same as grown man touching it they diont understand it just feels nice to them so harmless

seeker · 20/05/2008 10:57

They are all willy obsessed, don't worry. My ds talks about his as if it's a puppy or something "My willy's feeing all nice and cosy, tucked up in my trousers because it's such a cold morning" I kid you not - that is an actual quote!

It passes - or at least it transfers itself to behind the bike sheds so you don't have to worry about it any more. I just say that it's not generally polite to get it out in front of other people.

mrsleroyjethrogibbs · 20/05/2008 10:58

ignore it and give him something to do to keep his hands busy elsewhere.
Delightful phase but it will pass (although with some men it clearly carrys on into adulthood)

OverMyDeadBody · 20/05/2008 11:01

Yep, just ignore it totally, or if they comment on it just say something that you would say if they commented on their elbow or foot or sometihng, treat it like any other part of their body. They are obsessed though aren't they!

Original poster

Sunshine78 · 20/05/2008 11:15

I know before this I never realised though that the male facination with his man hood started from birth!

OP posts:

jura · 20/05/2008 11:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tinylady · 20/05/2008 11:34

I agree, it's all natural, not something to be dealt with really.
I would let him get on with it

FluffyMummy123 · 20/05/2008 11:34

Message withdrawn

Wolfgirl · 20/05/2008 11:37

I think its funny, especially when he's on the trampoline and its dangles, wobbles, flips and generally hangs there.

Man Im perverse!!!!!!!!!

jumpingbeans · 20/05/2008 11:45

i remember my ds used to stretch his like an elastic band, used to make dh eyes water just watching him we used to tell him if he fiddled to much it would fall off

Boobalina · 20/05/2008 14:30

Ha ha! My DS does this too! Tell him that willys and girls bits are private. And that he can play with his winky in the bath, but not anywhere else as its private and som e people dont want to see it. Also tell him it has to last him til he is an old man and will fall off... thats why daddy still has his, as he doesnt play with it too much (lie lie lie)

It does work and all was have to say now is put it away, its private and he stops

schmoopoo · 20/05/2008 14:33

My ds has chicken pox on his and is most concerned

Romy7 · 20/05/2008 20:00

DS is 6. He knows I am joking when I say 'leave it alone or it'll turn blue and fall off', but also knows that it is a reminder that we don't all want to watch him playing with it. DD2 otoh is a whole other story - anybody got a polite way of asking nursery to stop her rubbing her crotch for an hour so that when I pick her up she's bright red, sweaty, hair plastered to her face... urgh. We just work with distraction at home, but I am so hoping this is something she grows out of. Have been all down the 'not in public' route but... Nursery say 'oh, we kept asking her to stop' Uh huh. Put a paint pot and brush in her hands and stand her up. That'd be a start. Anybody else got girl trouble?

mankyscotslass · 20/05/2008 20:06

DS (6) does this all the time. We have talked about how it's fine but that maybe when he is on his own would be a better time. Last night, me "Eldest manky, do you remember what we talked about?"
DS "But mum, dad says it's complicated down there, I need to adjust my spuds."
Me "Mr Manky, can I have a word please".

sdjones2 · 20/05/2008 20:08

I take it DS has not discovered the joy of hanging a shoe from his erection - or a bath towel?

Who says we grow out of it? Pah! Supressed and oppressed we are!

Romy7 · 20/05/2008 20:35

sd - if it was just a quick fiddle I wouldn't bat an eyelid, it's the hour long public display at nursery where she's bright red and grunting and they are all playing around her that I think is slightly unnecessary...that I'd rather suppress and oppress, and I'm quite keen on her growing out of the desire for an audience! she calls it her 'exercises'... I have fast-forwards of her sitting on a park bench in twenty years time and appearing on the front page of the News of the World as a serial female flasher who keeps getting caught in slightly bizarre public places becasue she got carried away when she was bored... am I overreacting then? (slinks off wishing she had never mentioned girls and thanking heaven she hadn't used the m word...) Awww, it's quite sweet really, such an innocent time of exploration and sensory stimulation... but, pleeeeease, not at nursery, particlularly not at pick up time......
repressed of mn

Romy7 · 20/05/2008 20:37

because
particularly

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