4 year old keeps touching himself......what do I say to him

[Sunshine78]

My DS has never really bothered about his willy. However just recently he keeps showing it to us and saying how big its grown. Just recently he's taken to holding it on the outside of his clothes (asked if he wants a wee and he doesn't) when asked what he's doing says he's giving his willy a rest! Then last night (he had just had a wee) his hand was down his trousers. I told him this wasn't very polite in front of people and again I was told he was resting his willy. When I removed his hand I noticed he was standing to attention

Has any one any ideas on how to handle this please, I come from a family of girls so a boy is new territory for all.

we jsut say

"show me your hands" to remind him to take his hand out"

We have told him it is OK to do in private in his bedroom but not infront of other people and especially not out of the house!

Romy, I don't have any girls and have heard that this is quite common and normal, but I do think that your nursery should not be allowing her to carry on in public like this. It is just not fair on your lo, never mind you. They have to be clear that it is not something you do in front of other people and "correct" (don't want to use the word punish) until she understands. They don't have to be nasty or guilt inducing, just clear and firm. Is the nursery staffed by young girls who are embarrassed or are they just very liberal and unconcerned?

I'm thinking the first... have spoken to the manager in v matter of fact way, as well as keyworkers. Keyworkers do have the grace to look embarassed when I turn up to collect her and find her in a state of near 'exhaustion' - I'm hoping we can channel her enthusiasm somewhere else over the summer holidays - she starts school in september, but I suppose at least a qualified teacher will have seen it all before and will be able to distract her... won't they?![hmmm]

Romy, been pondering your DD and reflecting on mine. Wonder if DD is perhaps slightly thrushy or allergic to bath products. The rubbing is an itch, the reaction of others given attention, her expressions innocent. Hot and sweaty "exercises" exacerbabte the hot and itchy?

Certianly with my DD, the odd bit of personal hygeine intervention has helped. Last time around, naked playing in the garden led to grass in the fanjo and MAJOR trauma. There are things a dad really should not have to do and bits of his daughter he should not have to see . . . Who'd be a Paediatrician? Not me! Swimming cossie on for the time being!

Otherwise it is a phase. If not we'll look forward following her career in the Red Tops in a few years' time.

sdj - blimey am I glad to hear from you - thought everyone had retreated in horror
hmm, potentially - do agree with the exacerbation, might plonk her in a cool bath next time lol! we've just changed bath products due to DS1s excema, so it will be intresting to see if it reduces 'symptoms' in DD2 too... trying to remember if she does it more in hot weather
the paed thing made me laugh - I remember when DS had a bright red swollen 'appendage' and DH had suggested there might be something stuck under his foreskin and I should take a look - I can just imagine the whole fanjo/grass incident... please tell me you were at home and he didn't have to deal with it himself? scarred for life - or discovered a calling for the ob/gyn trade?