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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

dd3 doesnt want to draw

27 replies

misdee · 29/04/2008 09:31

ever!

is this a problem? she is 3.

says she cant.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

tortoiseSHELL · 29/04/2008 09:33

How about printing off some Cbeebies printables for her to colour? I did this with ds1, then got him to cut them out, make a collage with them. He then moved on to drawing his own.

Do you have an etch a sketch thing (not the old fashioned type with the wheels, the sort with a pen) - again my kids loved those, especially as mistakes could be wiped clean.

But no, it isn't a problem!

dizzydixies · 29/04/2008 09:34

what about the aqua draw mats with the water -both of mine love them - you can get mini character ones now too if she likes Dora or princesses or thomas etc

TheFallenMadonna · 29/04/2008 09:35

DS never did either.

TBH, he does have problems with writing and pencil control (he's 6 now), in fact with coordination generally.

He's good at other stuff though...

Original poster

misdee · 29/04/2008 09:38

i think she is just such a perfectionist. i did just get her to draw a face with lots of coaxing and helping and told her she could do it. she gets very stressed and upset if its not right.

she does colour in, loads of colouring books, does sticker crafts with the older two, and has good pencil control.

justr remembering all the stuff at nursery where they like them to draw things. she wont even do a squiggle.

OP posts:

TheFallenMadonna · 29/04/2008 09:39

Ah well.Nothing like my ds then, fortunately

As long as she can do it...

FYIAD · 29/04/2008 09:40

my 5 year old still can't ride a bike

they all develop differently

she probably doesnt like the 'publicness' of drawing

schneebly · 29/04/2008 09:41

my DS2 is 3 and will draw but only scribbles round and round the paper and every picture is 'a hot wheels track'. I remember at that age DS1 could draw faces and recognisable things but DS2 is just a very different child!

Original poster

misdee · 29/04/2008 09:42

lol fyiad, good point.

the other two love drawing, always have done. dd3 is more content to play make believe than sit with pen and paper. other two werent into all that. they are so so different.

OP posts:

tortoiseSHELL · 29/04/2008 09:44

dd is a perfectionist and won't try something if she is worried about it - she'd rather not do it at all than get it wrong. her playgroup leader said we should try and model lots of 'getting things wrong behaviour' - like 'oh look, I haven't got that quite right - shall we try again?'

Original poster

misdee · 29/04/2008 09:46

dd2 is a perfectionist as well and very intense with her work. which was what led her pre-school asking for her to referred for tests regarding ASD as they felt it wasnt right in a child of her age just dont want to go through that again with dd3.

OP posts:

kate00 · 29/04/2008 09:47

I would suggest you avoid prompting her to draw a particular thing (like a face) but just let her experiment creatively with whatever she likes - stickers, collage, finger painting, potato prints, whatever.

tortoiseSHELL · 29/04/2008 09:49

It's a hard thing to deal with isn't it misdee - dd spent ages when she was 3 writing the numbers from 10 to 0 down a rocket in a Noddy book, but missed out number 7, so I very carefully praised her, said how well she'd done it, how well she'd written the numbers, then very tentatively said 'just have a look after number 8, what comes between 8 and 6?' and she went NUTS - threw the book in the bin, burst into tears, climbed into bed covered herself with the duvet and pillow and cried for about an hour....just a LITTLE over-reaction!

seeker · 29/04/2008 09:50

I wouls suggest leaving it. What's so important about drawing anyway? She's 3!

Original poster

misdee · 29/04/2008 09:52

seeker, just remembering nursery asking them to draw things and then cut out shapes. getting a bit worried again. like i said, preschool was very concerned about lauren, and i am just worried in case they pick up soemthing with serena, and i dont want them to.

OP posts:

FYIAD · 29/04/2008 09:55

rofl torty

dd1 is like that. Waht is this modelling behaviour of which you speak?

seeker · 29/04/2008 09:55

Oh, sorry - I should have read better

Maybe teach her to say what my god son said when asked to colour in a picture "But Miss X, if you had wanted a coloured picture, why didn't you buy a coloured one?"

Or my ds (also a reluctant drawer) "No thank you, not today. Maybe next week"!

Original poster

misdee · 29/04/2008 09:57

oh torty i wouldnt have dared point that out with dd2 or 3. they would flip at me!

dd1 wouldnt mind though. she is soooooooo laid back its unbelievable lol.

OP posts:

Sanguine · 29/04/2008 11:26

I used to play a game with my mum. She would draw a squiggle, then I would have to imagine what it looked like and modify it so that it resembled that thing. So if it looked like a mouse, I would put ears and a tail on it. Then I would draw a squiggle, and my mum would do the same. Would that help? It might stop her thinking that drawing necessarily has to be representational, and get her creative juices flowing.

tortoiseSHELL · 29/04/2008 12:21

modelling behaviour is kind of role playing mistakes so that they see that it's ok to have a go, get things wrong, try again. So, say it was drawing, I might have a go at drawing something, get it wrong (with a younger child might put eyes on the knees or something like that), then say 'oh look, I haven't got that right have I! Oh well, let's try again - we can just rub the eyes out and put them in the right place - do you know where the right place is? Yes that's right, let's put them there. Oh look, I haven't quite got the feet right - they need to have shoes....' etc etc etc ad infinitum...

Dd had to stop swimming lessons because of this - she got herself in a stew that she 'might' get something wrong in front of the teacher, and got into a state that he would be cross or something, so she refused to do anything (even walk across the pool) unless he wasn't watching...! He was perplexed, and having stopped the lessons she is swimming like a fish!

gingerwench · 29/04/2008 13:08

some of the most artistic people are perfectionists...

lljkk · 29/04/2008 13:41

I think she's too young for you to worry, misdee.

DS refused to draw anything until he was very nearly 5. No SN or perfectionism, just not interested. Suddenly his interest exploded & (in my totally biased opinion) he draws fantastically and daily now -- very precise, lots of detail, wants to be a designer when he grows up.

AbbeyA · 29/04/2008 13:44

My eldest DS wouldn't draw-he is a perfectionist. At 5 his first pictures were very precise with the detail just right. He wasn't happy to scribble!They are very hard on themselves. She is very young-don't worry.

yurt1 · 29/04/2008 13:47

ds3 is the first of mine to draw.

DS2 (in year 1) has only just stopped crying/sulking when they bring out the scissors at school. (If homework is maths or writing hoorah, if it's colouring we get a semi sulk, drawing more of a sulk and cutting well full blown tears).

Original poster

misdee · 29/04/2008 14:32

lol yurt1, i think thats what dd3 is going to be like (your ds2).

she wanted to make a card, so i said ok, why dont you draw something on the front of it. total refusal. ended up with me writing 'to nanny, lots of love from serena' on the inside, then she stuffed the blank card into an envelope.

OP posts:

MilaMae · 29/04/2008 15:13

She sounds exactly like my dd(same age) my twin boys are 4 and I had similar worries as we keep getting cards,pictures etc from my niece who is the same age as the boys and draws brilliantly.

Anyhow I started to realise their pencil control is quite good they're brilliant at cutting,painting errr patterns,making models etc Also as a reception teacher I rarely saw a child who came in not drawing and if they did they picked it up quite quickly. They also adore books and letters,1 is train mad,loves his bike the other loves music etc so I figured drawing just not their bag.

Well in the last 6 months I've noticed that when they want to (the key thing here) they're actually pretty good at it. Just saw their self portraits up at pre-school and one had nostrils!!!!!! Very proud mummy So i'm thinking an explosion is starting to happen as we're starting to have some interesting pictures like mermaids, beanstalks etc 1 has a lovely imagination I wasn't aware of before (he's 4 1/2)

So I'm not going to worry about dd, also although it would be lovely for them to love to draw etc it's not the most important skill in the world. As long as they can hold a pencil right(which dd still isn't doing)and has good pencil control for writing etc I'm not going to worry too much.

One thing which may have helped the dtwins along is the Do You Doodle books by Nikalas Catlow. It's a huge drawing book with pictures 1/2 finished. It's fun and not threatening eg What's in my soup? a picture of a bowl with a boy looking into it. My lot loved drawing slugs, worms in it etc

So try not to worry

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