Please or to access all these features

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

I need collective mumsnet creativity and solutions to a soon to be a potentially very big problem....

111 replies

yurt1 · 26/04/2008 20:27

DS1 has had a compulsion to look over fences for a few years now. As he gets taller (he's 9) he can look over bigger fences.

If you look at my profile you will see a photo taken of him today - he can get his knee higher than shown in the photo so he can get practically over the fence.

The problem is that the roofs of the houses behind that fence are level with it. In other words there's a very big drop behind there. He's severely autistic (non verbal) with absolutely no sense of danger. In between doing this today he's been jumping from bannister to bannister 3 storeys up. (am I spelling storey right?)

So any ideas of what I can do? The fences are at their legal maximum height. Removing the chair just leads to him shifting the trampoline or wendy house or anything he can lay his hands on - which is even more dangerous. Or climbing up from the decking. Last year he was satisfied with a periscope, but last year he didn't have the strength to pull himself up - this year it's viewed as a poor alternative.

He can't quite manage it yet, but give him a few weeks and I think he will. And I then dread to think.......

It's a compulsion so very hard to deal with behaviourally. He doesn't have the language for social stories.

OP posts:
mshadowsisfab · 26/04/2008 22:20

silverfrogs ideas are good

twocutedarlings · 26/04/2008 22:49

Yurt - can have a fence thats higher than 6ft, but you will need to apply for planning permission.

yurt1 · 26/04/2008 22:58

Thanks for all these ideas- have just finished work and am knackered (have ropey throat tonight) so am skulking off to bed, will read through everything properly tomorrow.

Thanks again- really helpful.

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 26/04/2008 22:58

Could the whole fence be made from trellis?

It would remove the need to climb up to get a view.

yurt1 · 26/04/2008 23:04

He climbs anyway, he'd love trellis, but he would use it as a ladder......
I think another problem is the actual drop. He loves to dangle over bannisters looking down at the angles of the stairs (and yes he has toppled over once- luckily he landed on his back and so just winded himself). It's probably why he likes to climb up there so much.

Can I say I love (but can't afford ) the conservatory idea. I think the drop might make me feel a little sick too.....

We would never have bought this house had we know what ds1 would be like. We would have a bungalow built around an internal courtyard.

I dream of a house like that.....

OP posts:
yurt1 · 27/04/2008 09:12

2 cute- I think our fence is 8ft...

My rollertop email was bounced back to me - unknown address But it's a solution that would work. I'll try and phone them, or look through the yellow pages for something similar.

I worry about an overhang that he might try and swing on it, or climb on top of.

We could plant something along the fence, but our garden is quite very small so it wouldn't be ideal.

Thanks for the ideas.

OP posts:
twocutedarlings · 27/04/2008 09:29

Crikey its 8 ft already..........i think we need to rename your DS spiderman .

The rollertop definatley sounds like the best option, but obviously be pricey .

Im just wondering if it would be possible to make something like that out of some drain pipe.

Have you had any help from the family trust fund yurt.

yurt1 · 27/04/2008 09:53

The rollertop isn't going to work- He can get himself high enough so that if he leans on a rollertop it will tip him over iyswim. Been watching him this morning.

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 27/04/2008 10:05

ruddy hell yurt
that is impressive

Dottydot · 27/04/2008 10:06

Oh blimey Yurt1 - must be very scary watching him. What about Holly bushes all the way around - will cost a fair bit but hopefully you could get already established bushes - shame you're not nearer us - I'd dig ours out for you.

And I love the idea of peep holes all the way around - might make looking through the fence more exciting?

Wish I had more ideas - will have a think.

Dottydot · 27/04/2008 10:07

Yurt1 - do incentive treats work at all? Was wondering if there's a climbing centre nearby that you could take him to - he could climb to his heart's content, but only if he doesn't climb the fence at home?

ladytophamhatt · 27/04/2008 10:11

How about a 2nd internal fence?

The new fence could have the slopy top but that if he does get up and over he'll end up between teh two fences?

tortoiseSHELL · 27/04/2008 10:11

Yurt, that must be very scary! You could put a rambling rose along the top - something like 'rambling rector' - they grow VERY fast and are good and prickly. The roll tops look good too. Our school uses the 'anti climb' paint which might be worth looking into too.

yurt1 · 27/04/2008 10:17

I wonder whether some sort of bush/rose type affair might be the way to go..... I think my fence people might be landscape gardeners as well, I perhaps need to ring them to chat through.

If you look at my profile photo he can get his elbows up onto the top of the trellis (which worries me as the trellis isn't strong) then peers over.

He can't really do any climbing at the moment (I suspect it might 'feed' the obsession) because he can't really do activities like that around the public (he would have to wait so it doesn't work), but the local NAS is trying to set up sessions which would be accessible to the entire spectrum (so you have an appointment time which is kept to) and I will sign him up for those.

OP posts:
yurt1 · 27/04/2008 10:18

His climbing is quite funny though. Our kitchen is at a first floor level and the other day I was boiling the kettle when his face suddenly appeared at the window

OP posts:
yurt1 · 27/04/2008 10:19

'my fence people' I sound like Audrey Fforbes-Hamilton.

OP posts:
winestein · 27/04/2008 10:20

Oh bloody hell Yurt. He keeps you out of having any time for mischief, that's for sure .

Everyone has suggested everything that I can think of fencing-wise, but I have thought of something for the possible "window" in the fence thing, that will give him a good look around... the glass bit from the door of a washing machine - he will be able to stick his head in it and get a 180 degree view. It would probably give Diarmud(SP) Gavin a run for his money too!

You could work out an overhang which is impossible to climb, but it would need to be bespoke and very expensive.

yurt1 · 27/04/2008 10:22

Actually I know what we need- a hot tub. As soon as he sees a bath/pool of water he can't keep out. Hot tub in the garden and he'd be too busy soaking to climb

OP posts:
yurt1 · 27/04/2008 10:23

winestein- I think you're ds1's type of person. Washing machine windows in fences....he'd pass out....

OP posts:
winestein · 27/04/2008 10:26

See, now to me, washing machine windows in fences are just a design statement

tigermoth · 27/04/2008 10:29

Has anyone suggested lowering the ground your side as you can't raise the fence higher? Can you get a hole or trench dug in your garden, so effectively making the fence taller? (assuming the fence would still be stable)

Or any chance of getting rid of the ledge so your ds can't get a knee hold on it? Can you somehow smooth out the ledge so there's no angles?

tortoiseSHELL · 27/04/2008 10:32

If you go for a rose or bush or something then make sure it's a rambling one not a climbing one - climbing one will look pretty on a little trellis, rambling will cover the top of the fence very fast, which I think is what you want?

ladytophamhatt · 27/04/2008 10:48

Yurt, I've just had the simpliest of ideas.

How about removing ALL things from teh garden that can be moved to climb on and digging a hole to putthe trampoline in? It won't be a very exciting garden but it would make your fence unclimable.

Mabye replace teh wendy house with one of those heft wooden ones and put it away from the fence....

berolina · 27/04/2008 10:54

We have a spare washing machine door you can have, if you wanted to go that way (in addition to other ideas, to which I can't think of anything to add).

hippipotami · 27/04/2008 10:55

I like lth's idea. The other option, could you build a wooden climbing tower slap bang in the middle of the garden? That way he can climb to the top, have a great view over all the fences, but as he is in the middle of the garden, if he decided to climb over the edge of the climbing tower, he will fall into your garden, and he will only fall the height of the tower, instead of two stories over the fence...